An unprecedented third engagement in a row!
This chapter does not represent the present visual quality of the Chronicles! It’s grody and uncropped and older than the iPhone, and so compressed it’s frankly hilarious. Don’t hold it against me; it’s not beautiful enough!
Hey, breakfast tits.
Excuse me! I was talking to breakfast tits!
Willa: I bet that’s Karen’s nickname for me, too.
Karen: .oO(It’s breakfast-lunch-and-dinner tits, actually.)
Grugly2006: Do you think we’ll ever have kids?
You and I? Not likely, the age difference is too extreme.
I’m very impressed that there’s an “even worse” setting for the texture outside the lot boundaries. Somehow I expected it to be uniformly terrible at these low settings.
Hey, you’re focused on the dude, for some reason.
Lewis: He likes my cool boots.
Grugly2006: I’m judging him for wearing them to bed.
Well I’m judging you for cutting the sex scene.
And god knows what else.
I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE WE ARE NOW
So, luckily we’re not there anymore?
Kaylynn: YOUR ASS IS A SOURCE OF CONSTANT WONDER AND MYSTIFICATION
Kaylynn: And then that mystification condenses, and I have to mop it up.
Lloyd: Hey baby, which one are you?
Lloyd: No, seriously.
Lloyd: Even different lighting doesn’t help.
Lloyd: …it’s Amy, right?
Suzie: You had a 50-50 chance.
Lloyd: So, no sex then.
Suzie: Let’s not be hasty.
Suzie: I’ll give you one more guess.
Lloyd: …still gonna have to say Amy?
Suzie: How many guesses do you need?
Lloyd: It’s no good, you’ll just have to kill her and take her place now.
Grugly2006: OW! FUCK!
Suzie: God’s in the rafters.
Lloyd: He’s toys in the attic, alright.
Lloyd: That’s a Pink Floyd reference.
Suzie: It’s literally just a saying.
Grugly2006: No, he’s right.
Grugly2006: We still like Pink Floyd?
Oh, fuck yes.
Grugly2006: I wish I could’ve seen them perform.
You did. Live8 was in 2005.
Grugly2006: …this is really hard to sort out.
And you’re not helping.
Grugly2006: You need to research what’s happened since 2006.
You need to go fuck yourself.
Grugly2006: Yeah, well, that’s what all these sexy Sims pics are for, so.
Suzie: This is someone’s equivalent to porn, Lloyd.
Lloyd: Is it ours?
Suzie: FUCKING FUCK FUCK!
Lloyd: Hey, if you insist…
Walter: [Hello? Who’s calling?]
Suzie: How long have you been down there, Wally?
Walter: [I dunno, what does the joke require?]
Walter: [Where are you calling from, Suz?]
Suzie: I’m at my… makeout instructor’s place.
Walter: [Oh! Good. I thought you were cheating on me.]
Lloyd: As if SHE needs INSTRUCTION.
Lloyd: On the other hand, ugly chicks!
Michelle: You know, if you’re only gonna document us when we’re in our underwear, it’s gonna give a very lopsided account of our lives.
Grugly2006: There’s a way around that, though!
Michelle: You could be less of a pervert?
Grugly2006: You could do everything important in your underwear!
Grugly2006: See! We would’ve missed this, otherwise!
Michelle: I’d be fine with that event not having been forwarded to posterity.
Pretty sure this is going straight to posterity’s spambox, anyway.
Considering how pic-spammy my entries always are.
Michelle: And how badly they’re written.
Grugly2006: And how often they ask for help restoring a Nigerian prince’s access to his bank accounts.
Michelle: How’re you gonna make jokes once you catch up with yourself and lose your time-partner?
I’ve been giving that some thought.
And I can’t get past the concept of actually catching up with myself. It utterly defeats even my suspension of disbelief.
I wonder how many people think TS2 is outdated because they remember it looking like this.
Grugly2006: I think it looks pretty good.
You don’t even have fuckin’ LIGHTS in this house.
Grugly2006: What, do I suddenly like being in lighted spaces, in the future?
Grugly2006: There, it’s all lit up, you happy?
Put the cursor down, asshole.
Look who’s gettin’ artsy!
Grugly2006: Why are you mocking me when I try to improve myself?
Because I know where it gets you?
Michelle: Hopefully it eventually gets you off my couch.
Amy: Were you talking to the Makers last night?
Michelle: Yeah, hollowed be their heads.
Amy: I would’ve made a father, son, and holy ghost joke, myself.
Michelle: Nothing useful rhymes with “ghost.”
We’ve got websites for figuring that shit out, these days.
Grugly2006: Such as?
Grugly2006: All one word?
Grugly2006: Huh! Yeah, neat.
Oh, it exists back when you are?
Grugly2006: Apparently! But I didn’t know about it, when you were me.
Amy: I’m starting to lose my religion, here.
Lloyd: Good! I hate fucking religious chicks.
Amy: There are multiple possible meanings to that sentence.
Lloyd: I’ve vetted them all individually; they’re all legit.
…this is easily the best pic I’ve seen so far.
Fuck off, “ever.”
Ooh, locked camera!
It would be locked camera if this was 2013.
Here it’s just you being lazy.
All these shitty sky-pics make me wonder if I should go back to my TS1 neighbourhoods for an update or two.
Grugly2006: Yeah, drive off those last few readers, good idea.
Michelle: YES! It took some planning, but I’ve trapped the plumbbob stalker.
Amy: We had to let it go on a technicality.
Lloyd: What’s the technicality?
Amy: It’s inhumane to trap a three-dimensional object in a two-dimensional space.
Lloyd: What about two-dimensional objects in three-dimensional spaces?
Michelle: No, your personality in your mind is fine.
Amy: Is it just me, or is the writing improving?
I’m listening to music.
Grugly2006: What music?
Green Day, right now.
Grugly2006: What the FUCK
Grugly2003: Don’t tell me I become a POSEUR!
Kaylynn: AFTER ALL THE FILTH I MOPPED FOR YOU!
Michelle: She’s your filth-mopper, too?
Lloyd: I prefer to think of her as my mucksponge.
Grugly2006: Fuckin’ GREEN DAY, though.
It’s just one song.
Grugly2006: You might as well have just one HOLOC-
I’m not gonna keep simulating you if you’re gonna drop the H-word on a substandard joke.
Grugly2006: Okay, well, let me know how funny a genocide joke needs to be.
Grugly2006: Thank you.
Grugly2006: I just argued against my own word usage, didn’t I.
Kaylynn: Shall I turn the lights out on them?
There are no lights. That’s the sun.
Grugly2006: I can turn it off…
Grugly2006: …I think?
Michelle: I wish all dangerous beings were that incompetent.
Grugly2006: Dude, they wouldn’t even NOTICE if you wouldn’t point it out!
But then you wouldn’t learn.
Grugly2006: You can’t teach me things! I’m trapped in the past!
WE STILL LET THE ELDERLY VOTE, YOU KNOW
Grugly2006: How’s that working out, by the way?
I could tell you, but then I’d pretty much have to name-drop the President of the United States here, and I’ve sworn up and down never to do that.
Grugly2006: Wow, is it somebody I’d know?
Grugly2006: …it’s not still Bush somehow, is it?
It’s much worse than that.
Grugly2006: What else is terrible where you are?
Do you remember Doc in BttF and BttF 2, on the McFly driveway?
“What, do we become assholes or something?”
Grugly2006: YOU’RE NOT GONNA TELL ME THE FUTURE BECAUSE A MOVIE CHARACTER DIDN’T TELL ANOTHER MOVIE CHARACTER THE FUTURE?!
Amy: My boyfriend is the best.
Technically true, as there are no other boyfriends in your neighbourhood at present.
Although I think he’s doing a better job as her boyfriend.
Lloyd: …you know, if we fuck right now, she’s gonna barge in here and slap us silly.
Michelle: We could lock the door.
Not for three expansions, you can’t.
Amy: It’s okay, I’m gonna cheat on him too.
These are definitely my Sims.
Grugly2006: They were mine first.
I’ll try not to hold that against them.
Oh, man, that’s so hot.
Michelle: Yeah, I’d better not touch it.
Grugly2006: This is the most erotic thing I have ever seen.
Michelle: I don’t know what just happened.
’06 just saw the blockiest naked lady of all time.
And now he’s seeing the blockiest underweared lady of all time.
Grugly2006: And the evening is young, yet!
I’m not 100% certain, but I think this pic is suggesting that the entire preceding chapter was all just a daydream.
And this one is suggesting it was all just a story Lloyd was telling Amy to impress her.
Amy: It was very detailed!
Meh, I would have cranked up the detail, myself.
Grugly2006: And yet apparently NOT!
Lloyd: I would like a milkshake. Would you like a milkshake?
Wow, this was back before you’d heard that phrase.
Grugly2006: What phrase?
It’s not worth hearing.
Lloyd: If you could make me a milkshake, I would visit your house more often.
Amy: That sounds like a good premise for a song!
Oh, shit, this is one of those memes you’re supposed to preface with “Nobody:” isn’t it?
I fuckin’ hate those memes.
Grugly2006: I fuckin’ love that costume.
Lloyd: Wanna fuck?
Michelle: Not while I can smell your stanky-ass bathroom, I don’t!
Lloyd: Thanks, dude.
Grugly2006: Don’t mention it.
Michelle: FUCK ME LIKE YOU FUCK MY SISTER
Lloyd: I CAN ONLY FUCK THE ONE WAY ANYWAY
Michelle: …okay, well, let me teach you some new ones, then.
Michelle: FUCK MY SISTER LIKE THIS LATER
Michelle: I’m such a good sibling!
Lloyd: FUCK ME LIKE YOU’RE YOUR SISTER
Michelle: FUCK ME LIKE YOU’RE BETTER AT IT
This chapter depicts gameplay from 15 April 2006.