More playing with myself.
This chapter does not represent the present visual quality of the Chronicles! It’s grody and uncropped and older than the iPhone, and so compressed it’s frankly hilarious. Don’t hold it against me; it’s not beautiful enough!
Suzie: I have you right where I want you.
Lewis: Are you sure you don’t want me in the next room instead?
Grugly2006: Wow, it DOES look better with the walls up!
Suzie: Yes, and it’s best to obscure Walter for what’s coming next.
Lewis: I’m coming next.
Suzie: No, I am, or you’re not coming at all.
Lewis: This is all just talk, you know.
Suzie: I know.
Lewis: I can’t fuck you.
Suzie: I know.
Lewis: I’m in love with you.
Suzie: I know.
Lewis: FUCK ME LIKE WE’RE BOTH CHEATING ON SOMEONE
Suzie: WE ARE BOTH CHEATING ON SOMEONE
Lewis: PERFECT! JUST LIKE THAT!
Wow, THAT’s a weird spot to get sick of Suzie.
Anyway, this is/these are Amy and Michelle Lowe.
Amy’s a Knowledge Sim who’s Nice, Serious, Active, Shy, and Neat.
Michelle’s a Romance Sim who’s Mean, Serious, Active, Outgoing and Neat.
They’re both basically split off from Suzie.
They’ll both have successors in my next neighbourhood; those successors will then be merged into one Sim in a second version of the SAME neighbourhood, who will then have a successor in the NEXT next neighbourhood, who will eventually become Ember in Pine Valley.
I know, I know! It’s not complicated enough. I’ll do better, I swear.
This is Lloyd Donaldson.
He’s a slobby loud jerk.
He’s basically Bradley and Neil from Pine Valley, with a few more iterations in between.
I’ll keep you posted.
Michelle: Sure does make you want to get out there and live, huh?
Amy: The knowledge that I’m just a middle step on an endless climb I won’t see the end of? Yep yep yep!
Amy: I sure hope the later versions of me have properly articulated fingers.
Around this point I start having serious trouble figuring out what order things were happening in. Hence “Reconstruction.”
It looks like Grugly’06 went back and forth between households during the same day a few times?
Grugly2006: I probably forgot what I was doing, or what the order was.
Lloyd: So hey, you gay?
Amy: Maybe! It’s a world of possibilities!
Lloyd: ‘cuz I’d wanna fuck you, if you’re not.
Amy: I’ll let you know my sexuality when you let me see your personality.
Amy: I don’t want to kiss an asshole.
Lloyd: Blech. There’s an image.
Lloyd: An image of an ASSHOLE!
Amy: If your asshole looks like THAT, you’re eating too much chili.
Grugly2006: Hey, is that image of an asshole still circulating on the internet?
The internet is a toilet which nobody cleans.
Grugly2006: I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have to clean my own toilet.
YOU NEVER KNEW
Lloyd: STOP TALKING ABOUT TOILETS I’M TRYING TO SEDUCE A GIRL
Walter: So, Willa.
Willa: So, Walter.
Walter: How’s Lewis.
Willa: Lewis is fine. Cut the italics. It’s annoying.
Amy: I see you ladies have been playing the bareback riding game! And losing.
Lloyd: You know how to clear a room! I respect that.
Amy: You know how to make a sandwich!
Lloyd: You respect that?
Amy: Not at all, anyone can do it. I just felt like you were expecting some give-and-take.
Lloyd: I’ll give, you take.
Walter: I’ll… leave, I guess?
Judging by the angle, Grugly’06 already has.
Amy: You don’t think he’s… playing one-handed, do you?
Lloyd: Who are we talking about?
Lloyd: Where is THAT coming from?!
Lloyd: I could swear I heard a sky-yo just now.
Amy: That was the Maker. He hovers over us, and gives orders.
Lloyd: So, he’s a wife, then.
Walter: Be glad you’ll never know how true that is.
Suzie: Ooh, you’re such a smartass when you know you can outrun me.
And then they vanished.
Amy: Wishes do come true!
And then the sun vanished.
Lloyd: Wish our clothing away next!
Amy: Cheeky! We just met!
Lloyd: Wait’ll I turn the other cheeky!
Amy: Let’s turn them inside-out.
Amy: And clip through the table.
Geez, ’06, nudge them aside or change the camera angle.
Grugly2006: NEVER! THIS IS CINÉMA VÉRITÉ!
Suzie: And then when you take the key? This HORRIBLE MASK THING swoops down, and you have to escape from the urn!
Walter: Oh, just like the sun does in the third game!
Lloyd: Remind me again why socialization isn’t a waste of time and resources.
Grugly2006: I got nothin’.
Let’s see if the newly-founded Independent Republic of Diptera knows.
I honestly don’t understand you, ’06.
Grugly2006: Nobody understands me.
They do, though! In all the ways you think they don’t. They know you’re a sulky, sensitive, lazy whiner.
It’s your persistent tendency to take the absolute worst Sims pictures of all time which cries out for explanation.
Grugly2006: THERE. That better?
Grugly2006: DON’T TAKE HIS SIDE!
Michelle: Why not? You’ll cease to exist in 2007!
Amy: So will we, apparently, and I’m still not thrilled about that.
Michelle: It’s okay, we’ll make our triumphant returns in… uh…
Michelle: Yeah, twenty… twenty?! WHAT?!
Grugly2006: HELP I’M CAUGHT ON A SEAGULL
Michelle: So hey, guy, you seeing anyone?
Lloyd: The more I see of you, the less I’m seeing of them!
Michelle: Is it anyone I know?
Lloyd: HOW IS TALKING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE GETTING ME INTO YOUR PANTS?!
Michelle: Social behaviour gets you into my house. That’s the first step.
Lloyd: I would’ve fucked you on the lawn, if you’d been into it.
Lewis: So, we’re just straight up pretending I’m not here, now?
Lloyd: In fairness, that’s been my consistent policy so far.
Lloyd: I wish I could see what you’re talking about.
Michelle: I’m talking about putting our faces close together.
Lloyd: …why are our faces green, though?
Michelle: I can only use the assets the game gives me.
Lewis: THERE’S ICONS FOR KISSING
Lewis: There’s PLENTY of icons for kissing!
Lloyd: Alright, let’s pivot to stuff with no icons at all.
Sex has icons.
Lloyd: Never listen to me again.
Amy: Some of us never would’ve!
Michelle: So, Lewis. You’re married to that fat chick?
Lewis: She’s pregnant.
Michelle: The nerve of her!
Amy: When I have a kid, I’m gonna make the Maker download clothes with no pregnancy morph.
Amy: Poor guy, having only that fat unattractive wife to screw around with.
Lewis: Hey, what-
Amy: If only one of us gorgeous, brand-new babes could help you out with that!
Lewis: I already have a babe.
Amy: I disapprove of you, in direct proportion to my disproportionate disapproval of your taste in women.
What’re you up to this evening?
Michelle: I think I’m just gonna sit here, try to work out what the fuck my sister just said.
I’m designing your 2020 outfits and appearances in Body Shop.
Michelle: Give me sexy pajamas.
Michelle: And a tight ass.
You know what? I’m closing Body Shop and opening Tinder.
Grugly2006: What’s Tinder?
It’s an online dating website.
Grugly2006: Oh, are those any good?
Grugly2006: I’m just thinking, I shouldn’t be using access to time travel to just confirm things I’m already pretty sure of.
Michelle: Thanks for trying to get me laid, earlier.
Amy: Oh, I dunno. I was willing to take one for the team myself, if necessary.
Michelle: I thought you were seeing Lloyd.
Amy: I thought YOU were seeing Lloyd.
Michelle: I thought you didn’t see that.
Amy: I saw that, alright.
Michelle: BE LESS OBSERVANT
Michelle: I’ll feel bad about stealing your boyfriends if you find out about it.
Amy: How FUCKING inconsiderate of me.
…are you sleeping with a door to the outside open?
Amy: I’m not sleeping with it, we’re just good friends.
I really don’t think a door right there is a good idea.
Grugly2006: It’s, I dunno, an escape route?
It’s an escrape route!
Grugly2006: I don’t think rape jokes are appropriate.
Exactly! They call attention to the inappropriateness of your DOOR PLACEMENT!
And anyway I don’t need lessons on appropriate behaviour from YOU. You want them to know what you kept under your bed in first year?
Grugly2006: NOW THEY’LL THINK IT WAS A CORPSE OR SOMETHING IF YOU DON’T TELL THEM
Lloyd: ♪ This is the year that doesn’t end ♪
Michelle: It’s probably waiting for a climax.
Lloyd: Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose.
Michelle: That’s beautiful! Where’d you hear that?
Lloyd: It’s from a poem I wrote.
Lloyd: Shh! I’m using my future knowledge to seduce her! Yeah, baby, it’s from a poem I wrote. Go ahead! Look it up! You’ll never find it, because it’s mine.
“Kiss From A Rose” came out in 1994.
Michelle: Ouch! Socked you RIGHT in the future-knowledge!
Grugly2006: And the line is “I compare you to a kiss from a rose on a grave.“
It’s actually “on the grey.”
Grugly2006: Man! I was gonna be all “so basically it’s gibberish,” but now I gotta be all “so entirely it’s gibberish”!
Lloyd: Hey baby, wanna betray your sister?
Michelle: That’s why I’ve got one! I assume.
Grugly2006: It’s why you’ve got one.
Grugly2006: Now get one.
I’m starting to think Grugly’06 naturally retreats from things which make him horny.
Grugly2006: So it’s not that I have no sense of composition?
Well, I’m not ruling out a… composite expanation for this.
Lloyd: Hey baby, I can do things no man’s ever done for you before.
Michelle: Wow! You can kiss without being a gross slobbering dorkwalter?
Michelle: He seems like a dork, so I’m immortalizing that impression with verbiage.
Michelle: …still at least one-half dorkwalter, I’d say.
Lloyd: I’ve never been only half of a bad thing before!
Michelle: I’m so glad my standards are low.
Lloyd: Me too.
Okay, AGAIN I’m confused.
Grugly2006: Seems to be your natural state, doesn’t it?
You zoomed out a bit, so her foot wasn’t cut off!
Grugly2006: Well, duh! Nobody likes having their foot cut off!
But if you’re not planning to use these pics for anything, why reframe them at all?
Grugly2006: Who says I’m not planning to use them for anything?
Michelle: Please don’t bang my head on the sill.
Michelle: I want to enjoy any banging I do.
What are you planning to use them for?
Michelle: And I’m definitely not dressed for head-banging.
’06? What are you planning to use them for?
…YOU HAVE AN INTERNET CONNECTION, ’06!
Michelle: Hell hath no fury like someone meeting their past self.
Lloyd: It’s weird we have a saying for that! Seems like it’d be a pretty rare occurrence.
Michelle: Shut your dorkhole, dorkwalter.
Lloyd: I think you’ll find the dorkholes are all on you, baby.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 27 March 2006 and 4 April 2006.