In which geez, I guess anybody can get their own chapter now.
Nick: Stop imitating me.
Penny: KEEP IMITATING HIM
William: It’s the bad habits they need to stop imitating.
William: Wait, what am I talking about?
William: Live without bad habits isn’t worth living.
William Jr.: Is your refrigerator running? Then there might be a witch in your community.
Uma: There’s certainly one in ours!
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: NEILA CHAPTER!
Grugly2013: Why? No!
Valerie: SHORT chapter, I’m guessing.
Nick: Many teenage women find me irresistible.
Penny: That averages out to no adults, though.
Chief: .oO(If you’re expecting me to fetch that, you’re out of your fucking mind.)
William Jr.: Hi, new mom! There’s still room on the wall for your posthumous portrait!
Only seventy pics, and she’s making me waste time with location cards.
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: I’m not a rando.
That’s such a rando thing to say.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: But his flaws are very specific.
Emerson: Oh NOW you tell me.
Emerson: SURE, SURE, EVERYONE HAS THE HOTS FOR TAKEN EMERSON
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: You were in Taken?!
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: I’m awfully taken with you.
Penny: Our world is melting.
William Jr.: FIX IT.
YES COOL MORE TITLE CARDS
Speaking of awesome…
Mason: I don’t know who I was fooling, with those sandstone boxers.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Sorry I almost stole your boyfriend.
Barbara: What happens in crashed timelines stays in crashed timelines.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Can I steal you?
Ian: You can steal her for me.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Actually, there’s no price point at which you’d be a steal.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: If he were a catch, I’d throw him back.
Penny: So, how do you feel about me joining your family?
William Jr.: Oh! Is that what this is?
Penny: …if it’s not a family, what would you call it?
William Jr.: A social experiment?
Victor: I think we’re a social experiment.
Nick: Gone horribly wrong, or horribly right?
Victor: Hey, you know nobody?
Victor: They pissed themselves.
Nick: They sure do do that!
Victor: No, not do-do, pee-pee.
Victor: Fuckin’ self-pissers.
Nick: What a world.
Victor: Let’s kill ’em all.
William Jr.: We need some new blood in this household. Not necessarily moving in, to be clear: just bleeding.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Well, that’s a bleeding good haircut.
Remind me to get rid of your magic acne.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Hey, wanna rub my sparkles off?
William: Did someone say something about rubbing off Captain Sparkles? He’s all excited now.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Leonard! Leonard’s dad.
Stephen: Leonard’s mad dad!
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: What’s he mad about?
Leonard: He’s just generally mad.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: We’re generally all generally mad here.
Leonard: Is it safe to come in?
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: It was safe for me…
Leonard: OH NO, IT’S NOT SAFE TO STAY OUT
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Jack!
Stephen: I’m a character, too!
Leonard: Sometimes he tells people he’s a doctor.
Leonard: Kelsey beat the shit out of me.
Dylan: My name is Dylan, and I’m gonna fuck your dad.
Leonard: More like diddlin’.
Leonard: Or daddlin’!
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: NO
Kelsey: Have you NO shame?!
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Hey, quick question, did you fuck your aunt?
Leonard: Technically, in those terms, no.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: I don’t wanna date no aunt-fucker.
Leonard: It’s good to set realistic goals.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: I also don’t wanna fuck no death wizard.
Leonard: Yeah, he’s probably gonna fuck us first.
Leonard: Why are you making that face?
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Because of what I’m about to do with it.
Leonard: I understand.
Neil: I don’t.
Stewart: NEITHER DO I
Dylan: NEITHER DO I
Stephen: Wait, how am I here?
Leonard: I ask myself that all the time.
Leonard: Also people ask meffffmmph.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Who’s meffffmmph?
Leonard: Nobody’s ever asked me that before.
Leonard: Nobody’s ever most things’d me before.
Stephen: I FEEL THAT FEEL
Stewart: I own that feel.
Leonard: I own this person.
Stewart: IXNAY ON THE AVERYSLAY
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Yeah, person-owning isn’t very romantic.
Leonard: Then how do you explain the lyrics to “Wonderful! Wonderful!”?
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: I don’t even know what that is.
Leonard: Neither do I, but he FUCKIN’ made me say it!
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Is there anyone in your family who doesn’t like redheads?
Leonard: Yeah, my mom.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Are there any redheads you don’t like?
Yeah, some of the real-world ones are pretty meh.
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Speaking of pretty meh.
Leonard: Walking into this doorframe makes me smell fried eggs!
Leonard: Speaking of eggs…
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Can we not?
Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Actually, can we not any of this.
That we can’t!
Next time: lifestyles of the rich and lazy.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 10 May 2013.