In which figures a bed.
Emerson: I figured as much.
Barbara: Should I compliment your figure? ‘cuz I can’t compliment your décor.
Emerson: You could just close your eyes.
Barbara: Never a bad idea around a strangler!
Emerson: Did you mean “stranger”?
Barbara: You did just try to strangle me.
Emerson: I was trying to give you a back RUH-UH-UHB
Emerson: You’re in your underwear.
Barbara: Um, yeah? I’m stealing your ladyclothes.
Barbara: Which you have for some reason.
Emerson: THIS IS THE REASON
Emerson: Can I pick something out for you?
Barbara: No, but you can give me some money.
Emerson: Never mind, you picked something out for me.
Barbara: So, I figure this is the bed?
Barbara: Where are you gonna sleep?
Emerson: .oO(With you?)
Mallory: There someone having fun I can interrupt?
Barbara: Very much so.
Barbara: Man! This is awkward.
Emerson: If this is awkward, I hope we stay teenagers forever!
Barbara: Bring that gangly ass down here.
Emerson: I’m making out with a girl!
Barbara: No! You’re missing out on making out with a girl, in favour of talking to the wall!
Emerson: I can’t believe this is happening.
Barbara: I can’t believe this is all that’s happening.
Barbara: You are the most awkward thing of all time.
Emerson: Hey, at least I’m a thing.
Emerson: LET’S PUT OUR THINGS TOGETHER
Emerson: How did you end up on top?!
Barbara: I think you’ll find I always will.
Emerson: I’m excited to think we’ll have an always together.
Emerson: I’m also just generally excited.
Emerson: OKAY, SPECIFICALLY EXCITED
Barbara: Your crotch is avoiding me.
Emerson: IT KNOWS NOT WHAT IT DOES
Emerson: HUMP ME, LLAMA MAMA
Emerson: Excuse me while I kick a hole in the wall.
Barbara: …I just… felt… where are your balls, precisely?
Barbara: The most romantic word in the Simlish language.
Emerson: I’m romantic!
Barbara: You’re amorous, at least.
Emerson: I’m nothing at least.
Barbara: Let me explain to you what that sounded like.
Emerson: Why aren’t you touching my shoulder?
Barbara: ‘cuz it’s all sweaty.
Emerson: What’s wrong with sweat?
Barbara: I’m postponing the inevitable deluge.
Emerson: Wow! It’s inevitable!
Barbara: Yeah, I’ve tried to evit it, to no avail.
Barbara: Is there any chance we could do this with the lights off? Under the covers?
Emerson: What, do you think this is 2049 or something?!
Mallory: Night, lump.
Barbara: Night lump indeed.
Barbara: I appreciate this extra use of technology.
Grugly2013: It’s not technology, it’s careful manipulation of in-game assets.
And careful photomanipulation.
Emerson: I appreciate the manipulation.
Emerson: I love you.
Emerson: Sorry, I didn’t have a joke for that.
Barbara: I forgive you.
Barbara: As long as you don’t stop kissing me.
Barbara: I like you.
Emerson: I guess that’s a halfway-decent return on investment.
Emerson: As long as it appreciates over time.
Barbara: I certainly appreciate what you’re doing right now!
Not bad, ’13.
Grugly2013: I’m assuming you can do better?
Yes, effortlessly, but that’s neither here nor there.
Nikita: WE’RE NEITHER HERE
Timothy: NOR THERE
Nikita: ACTUALLY I’M ALMOST THERE…!
Barbara: Last night I had the strangest dream.
Emerson: ♪ I sailed away to China ♪
Emerson: ♪ In a little row-boat to find ya ♪
Barbara: … ♪ -body’s gonna break-a my stride ♪
Barbara: ♪ Nobody’s gonna slow me down, oh no ♪
Barbara: ♪ I’ve got to keep on movin’! ♪
Emerson: As long as said motion is in the same vein as last night.
Barbara: So veiny.
Emerson: That’s for the blood.
Mallory: Mornin’, lump!
Franklin: How did you know?
Franklin: I mean uh HELLO
Emerson: Yeah, mine’s always going “Hello!” in the morning, too.
Sunny Clark the Witch: Oh, is this my chapter too?
I wouldn’t go that far, no.
Sunny Clark the Witch: I got promoted to waitress.
And you got demoted to three pics.
Sunny Clark the Witch: THREE PICS?!
Sunny Clark the Witch: CAN’T WE MAKE IT JUST TWO
Looks like you’ll be making it two soon enough!
Next time: two families, alike indignant.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 8 May 2013.