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In which cheaters gonna.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Why do people want “back”? I only ever notice mine when it hurts.
Xavier the Warlock: Baby, you don’t got back.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I’ve got advertising instead.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I just realized I hate reading.
That happens to me occasionally now, too.
Xavier the Warlock: I love reading!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: It’s all fun and games until someone weeps.
Xavier the Warlock: You need to keep up with your magic studies.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: There’s only so much reading you can do on the subject of neutrality.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I’m sorry you had to see me like that, Mrs. Sluttyfur.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Thanks for looking that one up.
The outcome was its own reward.
Xavier the Warlock: I’ve got a hankering for Chinese food. I was thinking we could go out tonight.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I was thinking you could go out right now.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Assume it’s an innocent prank.
Xavier the Warlock: IT SURE FEELS INNOCENT
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Sorry, Xav, but I’ve got a hankering too.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: And unlike Chinese food, it’s for something I can actually get!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Apello Homo Alius!
Victor: What did you call me?
Victor: AAAGH! GOTH!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I think Xavier’s under a cheating curse.
Victor: I think you’re externalizing.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: So internalize me.
Victor: I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret later.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: You might not want me to regret it later, but the rest of that statement is false.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I am also false.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: But I positively want you to fuck me.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I don’t see any negatives.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: You may applaud now.
Victor: I think adultery would be a bit more fun if it was harder.
Victor: Which isn’t to say I’m not getting hard!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I dunno, though. I shouldn’t do this to Xavier. We’re gonna get married!
That’s why-
Grugly2013: That’s why I’m making you do it, yeah, I’ve got issues.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Well, let me test the waters first.
Victor: Oh yeah, baby, test my waters.
Lyndsey Price the Witch: This doesn’t look like a treatment plant.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Come in my bedroom!
Victor: There’s no way you phrased it like that accidentally.
Victor: I don’t appreciate being treated like a piece of meat!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I’m treating you like the support system for a piece of meat.
Victor: Oh, alright. I can handle that.
Victor: As long as you handle my meat-piece.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Is it a premium cut?
Victor: Who said it was cut?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Gross.
Victor: It totally is, though.
Victor: Oh. Hello there.
Victor: What was that for?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Stimulation!
Victor: I don’t want any.
Victor: Okay, don’t be such a dude about this.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I can’t believe you said that.
Victor: YOU FORCED ME INTO HATE SPEECH
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Okay, so you ARE willing to fuck me, but you’re NOT willing to KISS me.
Victor: I’m complicated!
Victor: And you’re hot.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Headed, at the moment.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Okay, what if we did something tremendously more romantic, but outside of the Slow Dance context?
Victor: I think our relationship figures can support that.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: It’s good to have numbers on your side.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I’d rather you had me on my side, though.
Victor: I don’t think we have good animations for that.
I’ll work on some. They’ll be ready in seven years.
Victor: Bad luck until then.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: More like bed luck.
Victor: More like bed FUCK! Andrea.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: What?
Victor: Fuck Andrea.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: …what?
And then he unhinged his jaw and ate her.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Jokes on you, I unhinge too.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I was never really hinged to begin with.
Victor: “The Boxers” by Victor is Gon’fucker!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I don’t know what that was, but it sounded not funny.
Victor: Sorry, there’s no blood in my brain right now.
Mrs. Sluttyfur: Yesssss. Let the semen flowwww through you!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I’m not up for that.
Victor: It’s okay, I hear pregnancy is a myth.
That sounds like a good name for a superhero.
Preg Nancy.
She can fire babies out like bullets.
Victor: I really hope I’m dead before he starts making these superheroes.
Victor: I like your edible underwear!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: We’re gonna have goth sex!
Victor: Do we have to pretend not to enjoy it?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Mind if I remove your burlap?
Victor: It was a hair shirt, actually.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Wear me instead.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Wear me out.
Victor: Wear me in.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: There should be pockets on our backs, for hands.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Like reverse kangaroos.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Baby, let’s do reverse kangaroo style!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Actually let’s not, it’s probably a thing.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: A gross thing.
Victor: I’ve got a gross thing for you right here, honey.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I can’t see it, but I can feel it.
Victor: Hey! Don’t wreck that, I need it.
Victor: For poopin’s.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: So, fun fact! I was dead for a bit, there.
Victor: How did you know I find death fun?!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Well, you know what they say: Red eyes, take warning.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: And here I was afraid we’d run out of tropes.
Victor: Let me know when it’s gone, I don’t want to look at it.
Victor: I mean seriously, what’s love got to do? Got to do with it?
Victor: Where are we going?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Taking on a new direction.
Next time: creampie in the sky.
No, not really.
But it was fun to say.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 8 May 2013.