The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 545

Click Here for Previous Entries!

In which I mean I guess you could do that.

Stewart: Does that refer to inviting me over?
Grugly2013: I think it probably does.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Unless there’s worse ideas happening today.
Stewart: Love you too!

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I want you to know that you’re only unpopular out-of-universe.
Stewart: Aww, thanks mom!
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: For some reason.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Now let me give you your anti-auntfucking shot.

Stewart: My who what?

Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Keep your who what to yourself.

Andrew Murphy the Warlock: I thank my beard every day I’m not him.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: My little mistake-men.

Stewart: Speaking of mistakes, what’s this new information re: aunts I didn’t know I had?

Stewart: IT SEEMS LIKE IT WAS IMPORTANT INFORMATION

Stewart: Aw, what, “aunts I didn’t know I had“?!

Stewart: That’s terrible, I’m mad that I said it.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: We don’t have any record of who’s calling, so… stop calling, please.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: If you’re calling for the frozen cooch, bring a space heater.

Stewart: Hey fatty!

Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Hey stupid.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Hey whoever.

Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Look who’s feeling romantic today!
Stewart: I’m trying to blot out the memory of a romance gone bad.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Thanks, if you’re giving me this!
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Thanks yourself, if you’re giving me this!
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: What is it?
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Neither of us will ever know!

Stewart: Do you feel like our world is getting vaguer day-by-day?
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Blame it on the magic.

Emerson: THIS MUCH I’M WILLING TO

Emerson: Okay, no. You’re not doing mad science on me.
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: After this many replication studies, it’s hardly mad anymore.

Emerson: I don’t wanna be a replicant!

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: As if anyone would ever want more than one of you.

Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: Stop pushing my buttons.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: This might hurt a bit. Or, it might not! I don’t really care, so I didn’t really check.

Emerson: It doesn’t hurt PHYSICALLY

Emerson: BUT THE REALIZATION HITS YOU LIKE A TRUCK

Emerson: THE REALIZATION THAT I HIT MY AUNT LIKE A TRUCK

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: A FUCKTRUCK
Margaret Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Witch: BOO FUCKTRUCK

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Thanks, I was hoping to get the entire outside in here.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Now, get your inside out.


Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Another successful flight!
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: That’s a strange way to pronounce “wasteful.”

Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: No, this is wasteful.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Thanks for subverting me at every turn!
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Yeah, I sure don’t miss a trick, do I?

Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Fuck Leonard fuck Leonard fuck Leonard.

Emerson: You fucked Amin?!
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: She fucked everybody.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Me most of all.

Leonard: …don’t look at me like that, I didn’t know.

Grugly2013: Don’t look at me like that, I didn’t notice.

THE ENTIRE SECOND STOREY

Grugly2013: Look, I-

AND I CAN’T EVEN CROP BECAUSE OF THE ANGLE!

Grugly2013: I’M SORRY I’M A LESS-EVOLVED VERSION OF YOU BY DEFAULT

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Don’t you dare suggest it.


Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Alright, stand under the lamps and don’t breathe on anything.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I wish I could always tell people when and when not to breathe.

Leonard: hurry

Neil: Surprise inspection!
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I don’t have any surprises for you to inspect.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Actually, wait, yes I do?

Neil: Don’t be surprised! Lots of chicks are attracted to me!
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I would be very surprised to learn that I’m a “chick.”

Neil: Why, do you think you’re a dude, or something?
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: No, I think I’m a lady, and you’re a dude.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Would seducing you hurt your ex? Because I kind want to hurt your ex.
Veronica: BUT YOU’RE CAUSING COLLATERAL DAMAGE

Veronica: I’M YOUNG SO EVERYTHING IS ABOUT ME

Neil: She doesn’t realize that we’re old, so everything is about us.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Kids are so dumb.
Neil: Not like us.
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Not like me, anyway.

Leonard: .oO(I didn’t know there was a new version of Virginia out!)

Leonard: Am I imagining you? Because if I am, I’m both very impressed and very angry with myself.

Neither Veronica nor her hair are impressed with Leonard.

Leonard: You ever melt ball bearings and accidentally burn yourself with the droplets?

Veronica: Heck yeah, all the time!

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Wait, what the fuck am I doing.

Neil: Cheek-kissing.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: We have nothing in common.
Neil: We could have sex in common!
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Sure, as long as it’s not sex with each other.

Neil: You could, like, watch a movie or something while I do my thing.

Sullivan: So! Just how low are those standards of yours?

Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Try me.

Sullivan: Oh, I can try you? I thought I’d have to buy you.

Sullivan: And I would, you know.

Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: I’m a free spirit.

Neil: Man, I hate those!

Leonard: Hmm. Needs more not winter.

Grugly Prime: Shut the fuck up.

Sullivan: Fuck the fuck up!

Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: Don’t you dare.

Next time: the goddamn plot finally progresses.

And maybe I get caught up?

But probably not.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 5 May 2013.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.