The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 527

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In which a new year is a new start.

With that in mind, allow me to introduce my co-host: Grugly2013!

Grugly2013: Hi! I’m barely different from Grugly2020!
Veronica: Meet the new boss.
Patrick: What?

Veronica: You’re supposed to say “Same as the old boss.”
Patrick: Why?
Veronica: I don’t know.

Patrick: I never ever do what I should.
Veronica: And you’ll never ever be any good?
Patrick: What?

Veronica: Thank you for not knowing old music.
Patrick: That’s… what… I’m here… for?

Veronica: OOPS WE’RE HUG-FUCKING

Patrick: Oh, we’re calling that an “oops” are we?

Veronica: OOPS I DID IT AGAIN
Patrick: You made me believe we’re more than just friends?
Veronica: What?

So, ’13. What story are we telling with these two?

Grugly2013: I guess it’s a story about naked chicks and naked dicks.

Haven’t we told that story already?

Grugly2013: It’s kind of a never-ending story.

Aah-aah-aah?

Grugly2013: What?

We just made that joke, actually.

Grugly2013: The NeverEnding Story one?

Yeah, in Oak Point.

Grugly2013: What’s Oak Point?

You’ll remember when you become Grugly2020 and start talking to Grugly2006.

Grugly2013: …what?

Grugly2013: Oh, hey, walls down.
Walls Down: Hey man.

Veronica: This year is shaping up to be very meta.
Patrick: I’m more interested in what our shapes are getting up to.

Veronica: Your shape has already gotten into something.

Vincent: News me.

Go news yourself.

Veronica: Yes, let’s.

Veronica: We’ll make this the year we reclaim the community lots!
Patrick: From who?
Veronica: From the Maker.

I JUST DON’T WANT THE GAME TO CRASH OKAY


So, enjoy your bowling at the risk of getting everyone wiped out, I guess.

…wow, that’s kinda topical right now, actually.

Andrew Murphy the Warlock: They have creams for that.

Patrick: I have creams for everyone.
Lyndsey Price the Witch: I’ll get a cup.

Patrick: I think the cups you have are fine.

Patrick: And you are fine also.

Lyndsey Price the Witch: Fine me later.

Cheryl: Hey, look at the cool wizard!
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: I’M A COOLER WIZARD

Ricky: That wizard’s so cool it makes me want to walk into walls.

Patrick: So, we just fucked and the story completely ignored it?
Leonard: That wizard’s so cool it makes me want to get punched through the shoulder.
Veronica: Hey, look! It’s the Amazing Blandkin!

Stewart: I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING TOGETHER
Veronica: I’m not sure I would’ve remembered that.

Stewart: I’M GONNA BREAK A HAND OFF ON YOUR FACE

Patrick: I didn’t mean for this to become a public event.
Leonard: We should get catering next year!

Stewart: Yeah, we can have roast Veronica.

Stewart: ROAST VERONICA

Veronica: I don’t want to eat myself.
Cheryl: Man, that wizard’s so cool it reminds me how cool I’m not.

Veronica: On second thought let’s not reclaim the community lots, they are silly places.

Man, after ’06’s pics, these sure are nice.

Grugly2013: Why thank you!

Why? Because you should, that’s why.


Vincent: I LIVE HERE ALSO

Patrick: Yeah, we should do something about that.

Patrick: Is it okay if I get us all killed?
Veronica: Depends if it’s funny.

Patrick: Gonna go with “probably.”

Vincent: GOOD MORNING SHARPESVALE!
Veronica: It’s afternoon!
Vincent: YOU’RE AFTERNOON
Veronica: Yes!

Patrick: Alright, fellow moths, have at it.

Veronica: THAT’S THE BEST ALIEN ABDUCTION RETURN IMPRESSION I’VE EVER SEEN

Patrick: Big ‘ol fire, here? Anybody? No?

Got a Sim killed doing this once.

Grugly2013: Oh, yeah! Kay, in Autumn Heights! You covered that yet?

No, that’ll be after Oak Point.

Grugly2013: Well, say “hi” to Grugly2008 when you see him.

Patrick: Somersaults are seriously more interesting than fire?
Veronica: No, but they’re definitely more difficult.

Patrick: I don’t know how to make sense out of “fire isn’t difficult.”

Patrick: C’mere, I’ll toss you in.

Vincent: Keep your polgyons to yourself, pervwad.

Veronica: FOREHEAD BIRDS

Jeannie: Mornin’ Mr. Murphy!
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: We just established that it’s afternoon.
Jeannie: FIGHT THE ESTABLISHMENT

BONK

Jeannie: Am I pregnant, now?

Patrick: That broom looks like a dick and balls.
Vincent: YOU look like a dick and balls.
Patrick: HAVE YOU BEEN SPYING ON US

Jeannie: Oh shit, this is the active household! And it’s a new year!
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Yeah, I’m just here to get my bitchface in camera.

Andrew Murphy the Warlock: I’m gonna leave before someone stabs me with a sword.

Veronica: There are much more pleasant things to get stabbed with.

Jill Custer: I’m up for a stabbing.

Veronica: That can be arranged.

Patrick: Yes, it can.

Patrick: Ya weird zombie lady.

Jill: I’m not a weird zombie lady, I’m a homeless woman from Centreborough. It’s cold, next to the harbour.
Patrick: I’m sorry, literally all NPCs lose literally all sympathy for other NPCs when they become playable.

Jill: Yeah, it makes me want to punch you.

Stewart: THAT’S SO RELATABLE

Veronica: Do you think a small orange spaceship could win a laser fight against a big orange spaceship?

Vincent: I hate you.
Veronica: I get that.

Oh, come ON, ’13! Don’t YOU start with the camera flashes now, after all these years!

Grugly2013: Yes, flashing teenagers and children is definitely not something I want to be doing.

Veronica: As long as you realize that.

Vincent: Even if the small orange ship won, the explosion would take it out.

Jill: Mmm, butt warmth.

Chase: I know what you’re thinking.
Patrick: How can you live with that knowledge?

Patrick: You’re really putting the “butt” in “butler,” my man.

Patrick: WHY NAKED NPCS NOW

WHY COMPLAINING

Patrick: Why, that’s an excellent point!

Jill: And then in sweeps Captain Girlfriend to wreck it all.

Patrick: I’ve never fucked in a hot tub before. Does the water get stuck up your cooch, and you have to pump it out later?

Patrick: I’m willing to pump some in there so we can experiment.

Veronica: I’m going to kill them both.
Chase: Make sure you sell the urns, afterward. I don’t get paid enough for ghost cleanup.

Next time: Custer? I thoroughly knew her!

This chapter depicts gameplay from 23 March 2013.

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