In which I have to crop out like fifty speech balloon tails, and also spell the word “balloon” twice, which never goes well.
Luckily that part’s already over.
Yvonne: I like it when things are over.
I like Yvonne.
Shut up, I’m talking to the readers.
Grugly2013: I’ll have to ask Lance to spare her from the Maxispocalypse.
Faith: Wash my feet.
Tucker: What, with my MOUTH?
Tucker: While I suffocate?
Faith: Is that so much to ask?
Faith: Marriage is hard.
Tucker: Me too.
Faith: Well, we can at least do something about that.
Yvonne: I hope they get taken out to sea.
Yvonne: Or maybe just taken out.
Faith: Sex on the beach-bed!
Tucker: You’re my favourite drink, baby.
Tucker: A drink in the drink!
Tucker: I never knew heaven could be so squishy and moist.
Yvonne: Killing him’s still on the table, right?
BOLTED TO IT.
Yvonne: Sure I’ve got a pair of bolt-cutters here somewhere.
Yvonne: Wait! Be the bolt-cutter you want to see in the world.
Yvonne: Wedding rings are kinda like bolts.
Faith: Can you make her go away?
Tucker: I dunno, but we know for sure she can make me go away.
Yvonne: Are you a man of science?
Tucker: I’m a man of space.
Yvonne: Space is sciencey. Want to engage in a fidelity experiment?
Tucker: I can’t get engaged, I’m already married.
Yvonne: Bet you sex with me I can convince you to have sex with me.
Tucker: I don’t understand the bet, and that makes me want to accept it.
Tucker: Okay, so you’re a less attractive, scarier version of my wife.
Yvonne: I’ve got a non-religious name, though.
Tucker: That is a plus.
Faith: Tuckerrrrrrr she’s still therrrrrrre.
Tucker: You’re less whiny, too.
Tucker: And also you’re awake, which I like in a woman.
Yvonne: Alright, this is the hands-on portion of your training.
Tucker: The fuck am I training for?
Yvonne: I am training you for the fuck.
Faith: fckn… fckn… fucknsistergway.
Yvonne: She’s right, I am her fuckin’ sister!
Tucker: I’m calling that her blessing.
Yvonne: …wait, why did you put your clothes back on?
Tucker: Because taking clothes back off is sexy.
Ugh, this again.
Yvonne: It’s very romantic.
It’s very boring.
Tucker: Is nasophagia also boring?
Yvonne: I think I still have my nose!
Tucker: I’m like a bird, I regurgitate my nose-food.
Tucker: What’s she saying?
Yvonne: Fuck her.
Tucker: She’s saying “Fuck her,” meaning you, or you’re saying “Fuck her,” meaning her?
Tucker: Either way, I’m on board.
Yvonne: And I’m on Tucker!
Yvonne: Who is stiff as a board!
Tucker: And you were gonna make me just a stiff! For shame.
Yvonne: I have no shame.
Tucker: Prove it.
Tucker: I know everybody cheats, but… I mean.. I just married her.
Yvonne: Only sort of. Years have passed in the interim, from a different perspective.
Tucker: Yeah, but other people’s years don’t… count?
Yvonne: I thought you were looking for an excuse, not logic.
Tucker: You’re right, you know.
Tucker: And also having sex with me.,br>
Tucker: …I’m trying to feel bad, but I’m feeling too good.
Yvonne: I couldn’t feel bad if I tried! Theoretically.
Tucker: You never try to feel bad?
Yvonne: I find everyone else is already trying to make me feel bad, and I don’t want to horn in on their action.
Tucker: Yeah, you’re definitely not the kind of girl who tries to horn in on someone else’s action.
Yvonne: I horn up other people’s action.
Tucker: Does that mean I’m Faith’s… “action”?
Yvonne: I dunno, this is really getting away from us.
Faith: …come under the covers, would… you…
Tucker: I think I’ll come right where I am, thanks.
Tucker: Why does this feel so much worse than all the other cheating?
Maybe because your wife is RIGHT THERE?
Tucker: Yeah, we should roll her into the ocean or something.
Yvonne: You fuck with my sister, I’ll roll you.
Tucker: I have no doubt.
Faith: Man, the tide was ROUGH a few hours ago!
Yvonne: Yeah, that’s the motion of the ocean for you.
Faith: Hm, what, uh-huh.
Faith: Oh, gosh, I’m naked!
Yvonne: How inappropriate of me!
Yvonne: Just inappropriate enough, I’d say.
Faith: How come you’re up?
Yvonne: Because Tucker was up.
Yvonne: I’M TIRED OF LIVING IN A SUBHOOD
Yvonne: AND NOT HAVING A BED
Faith: There’s a bed back in Centreborough LITERALLY WITH YOUR NAME ON IT, Yvvy.
Yvonne: It doesn’t say “Yvvy.”
Faith: Don’t make me slap you.
Yvonne: I’ve already had my slapping for tonight.
Faith: Don’t make me understand you.
Faith: We’ve got a good racket going here! Why do you want to risk arrest back home?
Yvonne: I think the fact that you reflexively labelled Sharpesvale “back home” is answer enough.
Faith: Now you’re making my forehead crease.
Yvonne: Careful, that husband of yours is liable to fuck any old crease he comes across.
Tucker: I love that they walk around in their wedding night suits.
Tucker: I also love transitions.
Next time: a transition!
This chapter depicts gameplay from 25 February 2013.