The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 524

If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!

In which dangit I’m STILL behind.

Stephen: I recommend fleeing from all responsibilities.

Stephen: Except the ones that bring the cops a-callin’.

Man, you’re in 2013, you have no idea.

Vicki: Hey, who’s that thin chick you’re thinking about?

Vicki: So, I was thinking. Those open doors are gonna get real problematic in the wintertime.
Stephen: There’s no winter here.
Vicki: Yes, I mean, not right NOW, but I think you’ll find seasons do change somewhat regularly.

Stephen: My wife was wrong and now I’m FAT

Stephen: She IS wrong, right?

Right, wrong.

Vicki: Need to clean these up before it’s too cold.
Stephen: No.
Vicki: And we need to get some insulation in h-
Stephen: NO

Vicki: YO

Vicki: I’m just fucking with you, dummy.

Vicki: Let’s fuck later.

Vicki: This place is fuckin’ filthy, though.
Stephen: Maybe I like fuckin’ filthy.

Are you washing that with bubble blower fluid?

Vicki: Isn’t that just soap and water?

Yeah, but… more.

Vicki: Why do you think they made these pools so deep?

In a game with genetics, you want deep pools.

Yeah, I know, that’s nonsense.

Vicki: I didn’t say anything.

I know! Your mother isn’t moving.

Stephen: Apparently most of my everything hasn’t been moving.

Stephen: In a LONG FUCKING TIME

Again, you’re in 2013, you don’t know shit.

Stephen: I gather 202 involves running, and cops.

Fairly dramatically, yes.

BODY BREAK! ♪

Stephen: If you insist.

Vicki: My body’s already broke, and I ain’t about to fix it.

Vicki: We should get a pet.
Stephen: I’ll pet you if you pet me.

Grugly2013: Am I competent yet?

*sniffle*

Grugly2013: What?

I feel like I’m at my kid’s graduation, here.

Stephen: I thought you meant, like… a goldfish.

Vicki: You’re a goldfish.
Stephen: What were we talking about, again?

Don’t look at me like that, I ain’t feedin’ you.

Vicki: Hopefully none of us are.

You don’t have to feed it live people, you know.

Vicki: I don’t make people dead anymore, though.

Five minutes ago he’s thinking about his marriage, and now all the nude photos of other ladies he took are plastered on the walls.

At least one of them’s his wife.

Vicki: Yes, one of the other ladies is-

READ YOUR BOOK

Stephen: Oh… oh yeah… rain or snow, you hunky chunk of mail-flesh, you…

Vicki: I can’t see sparkles without seeing William’s dick now.

I’d be surprised if anyone can see William’s dick once without seeing William’s dick forever.

Stephen: It’s later.

Vicki: Fuck, it is, too!

Grugly2013: Why didn’t they fix how far that roof hangs down?

It’s EA, dude.

They do the opposite of fixing things.

Stephen: My dog’s still barking.
Vicki: Take him out back and shoot him.

Stephen: Shoot him off, you mean.

Stephen: Vicki!
Vicki: No.
Stephen: Did you know doctors always have sex with their patients?
Vicki: I’m not waking up, not even to find out what you’re on about.

Vicki: You had your dumb dream, let me have mine.

Stephen: Vicki! Did you know doctors always have lantern jaws and granite pecs?

Stephen: I’m a doctor now.

…let me see that book.

Stephen: No way! You’re already almost another kind of doctor as it is, I don’t want to have to call you Doctor Doctor! Because that’s already a superhero.

…that’s not a medical textbook, Stephen.

Stephen: How would you know? You’re not even one kind of doctor, yet.

Vicki: Thanks for keeping him distracted.

Well, I did make him that way to begin with.

Stephen: VICKI LOOK HOW DOCTOR-BALANCED MY HANDS ARE

Vicki: STEPHEN LOOK HOW PREGNANT MINE IS

Vicki: OHHHHHH IT FEELS LIKE HE’S TRYING TO GET OUT THROUGH MY FINGERS

Stephen: Oh, no, gasp, shock.

Stephen: I’ve had, like, a dozen kids. I can’t fake this anymore.

Vicki: THIS ISN’T YOUR KID
Stephen: Which makes this even LESS exciting.

Vicki: I’LL EXCITE YOU YOU SON OF A NOBODY

Stephen: Hey, let’s leave my suigenesis out of this, okay?

Vicki: Aw, look at you! Brought into the world at the same time as a useless new word.

I’d put it in the “mood” box on Livejournal, but I’m kind of doing a thing with that lately.

The revenge of Victoria’s very vengeful-looking eyes! This is Ian Sharpe.

Stephen: You’re right, he ian very sharp, ia he.

Vicki: Don’t listen to the idiot, you’re not related to him.

Stephen: I’m gonna paint an ugly picture of you guys for that comment.

Stephen: If I can bring myself to lie that hard.

Stephen: Say cheesy dialogue!

Stephen: Or no dialogue, sure, whatever.

Vicki: Eat my skirt.

Vicki: Should I tell William he’s got a son?

I’ll wait for whoever you’re looking at to answer first.

Vicki: He’s being a jerk to me because he put the camera somewhere dumb.
Grugly2013: Oh, no, we’re separate characters now. In a few years you’ll be talking to an entire pantheon of Gruglies.

Stephen: Guess in a few years we’re gonna have to start researching god-killing.

You’re not pregnant anymore. Walk normal.

Vicki: No, it’s a lifestyle decision now.

Your lives certainly do have style.

Stephen: He’s basically complimenting himself.
Vicki: I think you’ll find that’s all he does.

Stephen: I missed your cocoboobs.

Vicki: They’re called boobonuts, actually.

Next time: beach bitches.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 23 February 2013.

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