Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
Five in one day! Surely I must be done!
Don’t call me surely.
This journal last updated… Today! Four times. Read 190-193 first!
Yes yes, I hear you groaning back there.
You know who you are.
Margaret: Why do you put more effort into us.
Margaret: Why do you put more effort into women than you put into men.
Stewart: Oh boy.
Margaret: Shush honey, adults are talking. Who wants a rub?
Margaret: Why do you put more effort into women than you put into men.
Because I don’t want to put anything into men!
Margaret: Haha this one dude looks stupid.
Stewart: What’s he look like?
Margaret: Just look up, you lazy dork!
Margaret: They should grind him up into stupid medicine to give to people with chronic toosmartedness.
Stewart: I like you when you’re weird.
Margaret: Okay, so I’ve been weird for you, now you need to be more interesting for me!
Stewart: Suddenly you’re boring.
Margaret: I mean, take your dad for instance.
Stewart: Oh fuck no.
Margaret: And his tight little-
Stewart: -wallet? Yeah, buddy sure is a tightwad, ha ha ha!
Stewart: DON’T WANNA BE MY DAD OKAY
Margaret: I’m just saying, just because you’re Maxis doesn’t mean you can’t hide it.
Margaret: Who you calling?
Stewart: Don’t gotta tell you nothin’, racist.
Stewart: Yeah, please do. Come over here, lame it up, and show her how old mannish you are.
Stewart: It’s the least you can do for being dead most of my life.
Stephen: I definitely failed to teach you basic hygiene, that’s for sure.
Stephen: So what, you want your wife to get to know me so she realizes we’re all basically the same dude?
Stewart: Right! Except for the ways in which you’re worse.
Stephen: I don’t think I know those ways.
Stewart: Don’t worry, the truth will out.
Stewart: That’s the ticket! Show her how oblivious you are.
Stewart: Look who dropped by unexpectedly, honey!
Margaret: I used redial on the phone. Ember says you can stay out late, but make sure you bring back at least two dudes for her to… well, you know.
Margaret: Boy, you are… more than I remember you being.
Stephen: That’s your maturity talking, dear.
Margaret: Must be.
Stewart: Come on! Make with the disliking!
Margaret: Stewart, you’re too tough on your dad. I think he’s kinda cute!
Stewart: The moment I think he’s moved beyond “kinda” he’s dead.
Stewart: This isn’t precisely how my plan looked in my mind.
Margaret: Oh hush. It’s every woman’s prerogative to criticize her partner. You know you’re all I need!
Margaret: Well, you will be, anyway. After I’ve fixed you.
Margaret: We’ll be set by the time we’re elders.
Margaret: Hey, get back here! Don’t leave me with doofus!
Margaret: Oh my god I read an article about him! In a magazine! He’s like the world’s most famous painter why didn’t you tell me?!
Stewart: Because I figured you’d react like that?
Margaret: Sometimes I think you deserve a woman who looks like this.
Stewart: I have one now, because I am never unseeing that.
Margaret: Oh please. You know I’m way out of your league, no matter what I do with my face.
Stewart: I dunno, when it’s wrapped around my dick it seems pretty low class.
Stewart: Let’s not talk about this near my dad.
Margaret: You’re right. Let’s not talk to each other at all.
Stephen: Hey, wow! You look like a movie star from some angles!
Margaret: I’ve been told I look like that serial killer chick.
Stephen: Oh yeah! Yeah! It’s that bloodlusty look in your eyes.
Stephen: Like you’re so hungry you could eat a baby.
Stewart: You see that ass? She doesn’t go hungry often.
Margaret: Hey, I just had the best idea. You know Stewart and I are getting married soon?
Stephen: Your parrot was just telling me! I wouldn’t have believed it, but I know how often you need to repeat something for these shitheads to learn it.
Stephen: Is your idea that I should do your wedding photos? Because I will do the fuck out of you. Your. Wedding photos. Your wedding photos. Tastefully.
Margaret: It’s a date, Mr. Murphy.
Stephen: Is it, now? Awesome.
Stephen: Awesome, and awesomer.
Stephen: These little dudes sure do make a guy feel powerful.
Margaret: That’s why we let guys have them.
Stewart: I’m going to work. If anyone cares.
Margaret: If I see anyone I’ll tell them!
Margaret: So yeah, I just discovered your artwork recently but I’m already a big fan.
Stephen: You kinda seemed to hate me at university.
Margaret: That was university! Everyone hates everything at university.
Stephen: That means a lot, I think.
Stephen: I’m glad to have you in the family, Mags. Can I call you Mags? Mags sounds sexy.
Margaret: Sure, that’s not weird at all.
Margaret: And I don’t care if you think I’m sexy so
Margaret: Hahaha so Stewart feels inadequate compared to you.
Stephen: How come? We have the exact same body.
Margaret: Well. Not really. Yours is… uh… different.
Stephen: No, it’s not. I guarantee you. All my boys are practically clones of me. From what I’ve heard we even have the same pen-
Margaret: WOW YOU SURE ARE DIFFERENT HAHAHA
Margaret: And I sure do love Stewart.
Stephen: He’s a very lucky fellow, my son.
Margaret: Way luckier than he deserves.
Margaret: I’m off to perform. You should come see one of my shows sometime?
Stephen: Get me a backstage pass, let me visit your dressing room!
Margaret: HAHAHA OKAY HAHAHA
Margaret: What the fuck am I doing.
Jennifer: Come on, Mr. Fancy Magician. Do that trick where you turn into your wife.
Stewart: She spent the entire time doing an impression of me while I was there.
Margaret: And it got me promoted to ventriloquist!
Margaret: Oh, hey Mr. Murphy! Alright, Stephen. Sure, this Tuesday would be great! See you bare! THERE. Oh god hang up.
Stewart: ♪ Doin’ al-right, yeah! Wife is-n’t chea-ting! ♪
She’s not your wife yet, either.
Stewart: Fiancé didn’t fit in the rhythm structure.
Nobody: Somebody order some porn?
Stewart: I bought a print of a dirty picture my dad took of his wife. Before she was his wife.
Stewart: When he was cheating on my mom. I’m gonna look at it.
Margaret: Are you jealous that I got promoted and you didn’t?
Stewart: No. I am definitely not jealous of that.
Margaret: Come on then, big guy. Show me why I ought to marry you.
Margaret: Let’s roleplay! You be-
Stewart: I WILL NOT BE MY DAD
Yeah, I notice you don’t have any pictures of your dad as a zombie, getting melted by your mom with a fly gun.
Dammit Shadow, enough with the pyrokinesis!
I did like the Gomez Addams look on him, that’s for sure.
And hey, look! It’s your dead brother!
One of them, anyway.
Stewart: I know you just want my family to like you.
Margaret: Mhmm. That’s all it is. Yep.
Stewart: You just like how much my dad reminds you of me!
Margaret: Totally a thing that is happening.
Margaret: Anyway he’s gonna take pretty pictures of me this week.
Stewart: I am NOT having an erection about this!
Margaret: Oh, relax. He’s gonna take some shots of me in my wedding dress! The damn thing needs to have some future utility.
Stewart: My dad, you mean? Because yeah, pretty useless dude all told.
Margaret: Still think I’m detecting a hint of jealousy.
Stewart: Well maybe if that’s a problem you shouldn’t spend an entire day talking about a dude who isn’t me!
Margaret: Poor baby needs his ego soothed.
Margaret: And I ain’t into it.
Wow, last night was that good huh?
Margaret: The dream I had was OH RIGHT YES I MEAN YES DEFINITELY
Next time: minor characters do minor things.
It’s how they become major characters, alright?
Margaret: The fuck are you sighing about?!