Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates every damn day!
In which there is wood in the woods.
Victor: I’ll be the one with the wood.
Cameron: You would.
Victor: THOSE ARE SPELLED DIFFERENTLY
Victor: So hey, you know what’s cool? I was in Sharpesvale in one of these chapters, even though I’d already been established as not having left here yet!
Cameron: Entire plotlines rise and fall thanks to that kind of oversight.
Victor: I like that you’re so old, you remember when there were plotlines.
Cameron: There’s still plotlines! They’re just more subtle now.
Victor: You mean fuzzy.
Cameron: I was being subtle!
Cameron: I need some subtlety in my life right now.
Victor: Fun fact: the entire SimNation is just one big water pipe.
Cameron: It’s not as fun a fact as you’d think.
Cameron: I also need some fun in my life.
Cameron: And now I’m thinking about that.
Cameron: Alright, I’m gonna take a shower right after I mop… the… dirt…
Victor: Yeah, this house is weird.
Victor: And wet.
Victor: And tedious.
Cameron: I finished a whole shower without getting fucked! Porn is a lie!
Victor: There’s another shower on the horizon, we’ll see how it goes.
Cameron: I’ve never been this close to the horizon before!
Cameron: Good lord that thing is huge.
Cameron: Time to send the big man spelunking!
Cameron: My cave is dark, but we’ll see how deep it is.
Victor: Deep and damp!
Cameron: Damp is such a sexy word.
Victor: I briefly considered dank.
Victor: So, as a Hand of Poseidon, do you have a water fetish?
Victor: …or is reminding you of your responsibilities a Turn-Off?
Victor: It’s the second thing, isn’t it.
What a lovely prison cell you’ve built for yourself.
Victor: Do they have MASSAGES in prison?
Cameron: Only involuntary ones.
Victor: Do they have MAKEOUTS in prison?
Cameron: Nope, only breakouts.
Victor: Hey baby, you ready to go again?
Cameron: What, today?
Cameron: …I think I just became old.
Victor: That would explain the spontaneous newspaper-generation.
Cameron: But what explains you watching me shit?
Victor: The absence of television.
Cameron: We have windowvision…
Cameron: But it’s frankly quite unsettling out there.
Cameron: This is a garbage location.
Cameron: With garbage food.
Victor: Hey, you’re welcome.
Cameron: You need to go home.
Cameron: Are these somehow Chinese food sandwiches?
And then he ate her.
Cameron: And all her problems too!
Cameron: Eaten people don’t have chores.
Cameron: Okay, this turned out to be one of those boycuts that doesn’t make you hot, it just makes you look like a boy.
I think you’ve got a rash.
Cameron: It’s probably just dirt.
Cameron: My life is just dirt.
Cameron: And rocks.
Victor: Did you say your life rocks? That’s it! Have a positive outlook.
Cameron: If you’re not gonna help, you get to sleep in the hole.
Victor: I am amenable to filling a hole for you.
Cameron: Hit my uterus so hard it wanders!
Cameron: KNOCK SOME BALLS INTO ME
Cameron: …do a sex thing.
Cameron: …the fireworks aren’t coming, are they.
Victor: No, but I am.
Victor: I can’t wait to tell all my friends about the old lady I had unsatisfying sex with.
Cameron: Hopefully some of them can do better.
Victor: Can I stay the night?
Cameron: Only because your body is the only source of heat in here.
Victor: That’s fair.
She’s actually kinda cute.
It surprises me every time.
Victor: I’d like to think I can do better than “actually kinda.”
Victor: We tried, baby.
Cameron: Not really.
Victor: No, not really.
Cameron: I won’t miss the motion of the ocean, but I will miss the size of the ship.
Victor: I won’t miss any of this.
Cameron: k well fuck off then
Cameron: Ya little jerk.
Victor: Not so little.
Cameron: No, not so.
Cameron: Look me up when you get better at bangin’.
Victor: Not a chance.
How long will that tan last?
Cameron: It’s not a tan. It’s from ocean pollution.
Cameron: It’s basically skin cancer.
Cameron: My life is a mess.
Cameron: I’m a sex-starved fugitive.
Cameron: I get to eat the rest of those sandwiches!
Cameron: I enjoyed an excellent sausage recently.
Cameron: I’m so lonely.
Next time: she’s not alone.
In feeling lonely.
Otherwise she totally is, yeah.
Cameron: Thanks, man.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 16 December 2012.