Ah, my new friends, it’s already almost time to cross you out entirely.
This chapter does not represent the present visual quality of the Chronicles! The pics are tiny and jaggy and older than Spore, and don’t even get me started on the lack of custom content. Don’t blame it on me; blame it on past-me.
Stewart: She didn’t even get the chance to become a character.
Grugly2007: Sure she did. She just didn’t use it.
Dagmar: I didn’t even get used.
Dagmar: And I’m totally usable, too!
Grugly2006: Me too.
Grugly2007: Yeah, me too.
Stewart: That’s what we’ll call them: the Me Three.
Dagmar: Nobody will ever call them that.
Stewart: Man, you’re so argumentative. No wonder you didn’t get used.
Dagmar: I hate you.
Stewart: Beggars at last call can’t be choosers.
Dagmar: Do you get a break on your taxes for using your lawn as a landfill?
Stewart: WHY. WON’T. THE WORDS. STOP.
Dagmar: Bitches love being squelched.
Mark: Hey there, lovebitches!
Mark: Well, I just peaked.
Dagmar: Was it good for you?
Stewart: I have pubes, but no pubis.
Dagmar: I don’t think it’s called that?
Much to my surprise, that actually is a thing!
Dagmar: Gimme that thing.
Corey: Gee, I hope he didn’t put his pubic bone in her HEY ARE YOU WATCHING ME SH–
Hey, I remember this! The house crashed and I had to move them out, so I lost everything.
Grugly2007: Really fuckin’ sucks.
Wait’ll it happens to a real house.
New house! I’ve never had to use the same household card twice in a row.
Nick: You never have to do the things you do.
Yeah, that’s what makes them so much fun.
Grugly2007: I’m learning!
Just in time to become Grugly2008 and forget again, presumably.
Grugly2007: Do you, Nick?
Grugly2007: Do you, Corey?
Nonspecific promises are easier to keep.
Grugly2007: I now pronounce you almost gone.
Corey: Scratch “almost.”
Corey: Very good.
Nick: Where does this limo go, anyway?
Nick: Oh! Well, we’re going there anyway.
How was your honeymoon?
Maya: Congrats on the wedding!
Corey: Thanks! It’s basically the only thing that’s ever happened.
Corey: Why am I wearing this?
Nick: Because you insist on being clothed, for some stupid reason.
Corey: I’m dressed the same as Maya. It’s like you have your own personal harem!
Nick: Which is half my sister.
Yeah, he’s not a Sharpe, he’s not into that.
Nick: I am repeatedly into the other half, though.
Corey: For our next vacation, a trip down under!
Meanwhile, in Snogstralia…
Grugly2007: Quit phoning it in.
But this is the ERA of phoning it in!
I phoned in a meeting yesterday, and I phone in all my social interactions, too!
Mark: I prefer the personal touch.
Yeah, personal touching is a definite no-no right now.
Maya: For bonus points, embarrass an entire building full of complete strangers.
Maya: Alright, wanna come back to my place?
Mark: You’ve got a place? I was sold on you just from the smooches!
Maya: You’ve actually been to my place.
Mark: Yeah, I know. I just wanted to talk about the smooches some.
Ooh, yes, zoom in a bit.
That’ll fix the fact that your pics are only 2/3 size.
Grugly2007: I HADN’T NOTICED YET
IT’S BEEN LIKE TEN DAYS
Maya: Yeah, it’s really hurting my opinion of you.
Maya: Wanna console me?
Mark: As long as that’s a sex thing!
Maya: It always is, in fiction!
Maya: OH! OHHHH! FIC ME! FIC ME!!!
Maya: FIC ME FIC ME FICCCCCC MEEEEEE
Mark: I am a fic fan.
Mark: Specifically, I like self-inserts.
Maya: I could tell.
Maya: I liked it too.
Mark: I think the whole neighbourhood knows.
Maya: Oh, no, all ten of them?
Maya: Good thing they’re about to not exist, then.
Mark: We’re packing a whole lot of existence into these last few hours.
Maya: Yeah baby, pack it in.
Wow, look at ’07, getting off on monogamous makeouts.
Grugly2007: I don’t have a problem with monogamy!
Grugly2006: How would you know? HAHAHAHA
Grugly2007: How would YOU know?
Grugly2006: I wouldn’t! That’s why I didn’t say it.
Grugly2006: Ha! Someone else hits the camera key too often, I see.
Grugly2007: I’m not “someone else.” I’m you.
Grugly2006: No wonder we don’t get along.
Is this the rest of the pics, now?
Grugly2007: Could be, I dunno.
Grugly2006: I’m fine with it.
Yeah, this is probably how I’d like to spend my last few minutes of existence, too.
Mark: We’ll be together again, some day.
Maya: With an emphasis on the together.
Mark: I don’t think “together” is meant to sound suggestive.
Maya: Anything can be suggestive if you coo it.
Maya: What are you thinking about?
Mark: It’s lost to the ages.
Just like you’re about to be.
Mark: Well, I’ll go out swingin’. My dick.
Maya: That’s enough about your dick.
Mark: You’ve had enough of my dick?
Maya: I definitely did not say that.
Corey: I’ve definitely had enough of this.
Corey: You’re like a floating paparazzi.
Grugly2007: I didn’t know that, so neither did she.
StalkerBob: Yeah, that’s right, focus on the real hero here.
StalkerBob: Everybody’s been clamouring for the return of StalkerBob.
I have precisely one reader who comments.
StalkerBob: Because you don’t have enough StalkerBob content, obviously!
Mark: You can’t argue with his logic! Because he doesn’t have any.
Well! Who’s fucking in the new year?
Tanya: As if there was ever any doubt.
Pete: Baby, I’m gonna ████████ your █████ ████ so hard you won’t be able to ████████ your ████████ █████ until you have a baby.
Tanya: I was gonna say, you almost forgot to actually redact something!
Maya: We’re gonna get married!!!
Grugly2007: Yeah, I’ve basically stopped taking pictures now.
Mark: Maya and me, together in purgatory.
Maya: There’s no-one I’d rather rot away on a storage CD with.
And they are rotting away, let me tell you.
See you in HD, peeps.
Grugly2007: Can I join the peanut gallery cast?
Grugly2006: I can provide a decent reference for him.
The more me the merrier. Me.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 25, 27 and 28 September 2007.