Yeah baby, a day behind again already!
Like a boss.
Was that a thing yet, in 2007? No, not quite.
It was a more innocent time.
This chapter does not represent the present visual quality of the Chronicles! The pics are tiny and jaggy and older than Spore, and don’t even get me started on the lack of custom content. Don’t blame it on me; blame it on past-me.
…this escalated quickly.
Maya: You should’ve seen him escalate!
Pete: So quickly.
I’m not seeing the escalator.
Grugly2007: Yeah, nobody makes a dick mod.
They do, though. And it had been out for like a year, at this point.
Grugly2007: Yeah, I don’t go looking for dick mods.
You do eventually.
Cameron: Honestly, I’m fine with this.
Maya: Yeah! We’re just having some innocent fun, here!
Pete: Aw, shit, it’s innocent on your end?
Maya: Everything about my end is innocent.
Wait, is that Mark?
You’re dating Cameron now?
Mark: No, we’re just dancing in the dark.
Mark: You can’t start a fire without a spark.
Cameron: Bitches love Springsteen.
I knew a bitch who did, once.
She was cute, but she was a bitch.
Grugly2006: It’s nice to hear that our tastes haven’t changed.
Grugly2007: No, it isn’t.
Grugly2007: Do we ever find true love?
Grugly2006: He basically told me we don’t.
Well, ever isn’t over yet.
Corey: Do I ever find true love?
Your ever is over fairly soon.
Tanya: Hey! Where you going?!
Corey: To make the most of whatever ever I have left.
Tanya: Don’t fuck anyone I wouldn’t fuck!
Tanya: As if such a person exists.
Tanya: I’d fuck anybody.
Tanya: I’d fuck you.
Pete: Is there a sign-up sheet, or…?
Tanya: Talking to me is the sign-up sheet.
Pete: I knew talking was good for something!
Pete: Neeeeeeeeooowwww! Get the hangar ready!
Tanya: Hangar sounds like “hanger.” My vagina’s offended, now.
Pete: Allow me to make it up to it.
Tanya: I didn’t.
Tanya: I have plenty of better options for making.
Stewart: I’m flattered.
Tanya: Meh. You’re strictly a lateral move.
I feel the same way about Grugly2006 and Grugly2007.
Grugly2007: Great, we’re both offended now.
Grugly2006: I wasn’t, until you said that.
Grugly2007: So, what year are you in?
Grugly2007: …did we reset the years at some point, or something?
I thought you were asking about my PhD.
Grugly2007: Does that happen often?
It happens never.
Grugly2007: Wow, we’re still interested in The Sims 2 in 2020?!
Well, EA put out two very effective campaigns to remind me how great a game it is.
Yeah, The Sims 3 and The Sims 4.
Anyway I’m getting ready to play TS2 again. I’ve been playing a bit and then reversing for… oh… about five years.
Grugly2007: So, you must be running out of material for your journal, then.
That kinda makes me want to go see exactly how many pics I have left.
Grugly2006: And that’s why he keeps missing his update schedule.
Grugly2007: You have an update schedule?
One post for every day. Sometimes a bit later, but still, one per.
Grugly2007: And what month is it now?
Grugly2007: …you’ve posted HOW MANY UPDATES this year?!
Tanya: Stewart is also posted.
Tanya: I can almost see it, through the bubbles.
Tanya: And then I saw it in much greater clarity.
Much greater clarity sounds really good right about now.
Tanya: He’s a mess.
So are you.
Tanya: Yeah, but at least I’m a hot mess.
Maya: I have a proposal to make.
Mark: You’re proposing to me?!
Maya: I propose we kiss off-screen.
Mark: That does sound like us.
Nick: Do you hear off-screen kissing?
Corey: We’ll have to move quickly to compensate.
Corey: How quickly can you move?
Nick: Depends on which part of me’s doing the moving.
Corey: Let me see your parts move.
Nick: Perhaps you’d like to feel them move, instead?
Corey: Or maybe just straight-up feel them.
Nick: This is out of character for you again.
Corey: That’s okay. If I was in-character, I’d be a virgin forever.
Nick: Well, problem solved!
Corey: SEX SOLVES ALL PROBLEMS
Nick: Causes some new ones, though.
Corey: Only if you Try for Baby.
Nick: Well, there’s also jealousy reactions.
Corey: That only happens when you cheat on someone.
Nick: Yeah, I expect it will.
Corey: What does THAT mean.
Nick: It means we just had sex.
Corey: That’s not wh-
Corey: You can’t just say “SNORE.”
Nick: I can do anything.
Grugly2007: I can’t.
What was that all about?
Tanya: I was flirting with Mark.
Tanya: I mean, his name is “Mark.” That’s just too tempting! If I was a con artist, I’d have lifted his wallet too.
Tanya: And used the money to buy date flowers.
Dagmar Bertino: Would you buy me some flowers?
Stewart: Baby, I only intend to take flowers from you.
Stewart: Come here and let me show you what that means.
Dagmar: I know what that means.
Stewart: Then show me.
Stewart: This doesn’t mean we’re dating, by the way.
Dagmar: What will mean we’re dating?
Stewart: Nothing less than a signed affidavit.
Dagmar: That sucks, ‘cuz I don’t even know what those are.
Stewart: That’s a strange thing for a mailwoman to admit.
Dagmar: You don’t get to stand naked on the sidewalk in the dark and flirt with the mailwoman and call me “strange.”
Corey: May all our limitations be so ridiculously specific.
Corey: NPCs, man.
Corey: Think they run the place.
Corey: No, they definitely don’t run it well.
Maya: Do I still live with Nick and Corey?
I’m a little hazy on that myself, right now. ’07?
Grugly2007: I’m hazy in general.
I’ve got a sinus headache today.
Grugly2007: I’ve got a ton of freedom, but I’m squandering it.
Grugly2006: Yeah, same.
…yeah, same, actually.
Maya: Freedom is overrated.
Maya is not.
Corey: What even is this? Zoom in already.
Corey: Oh, it’s a lighting effect! Neat.
Nick: Will you marry me?
Corey: Signs point to “yes.”
Nick: They’re not the only thing.
Marylena Hamilton: I think this photo booth is becoming sentient?
Marylena: And also it ate some folks.
Marylena: And now they’re eating each other!
Mrs. Crumplebottom: BACK IN MY DAY WE NEVER LET SOMETHING EAT US TWICE
Mrs. Crumplebottom: Also we weren’t fucking whores.
Marylena: THREE times! They must be into vore.
Nick: What’s vore?
NONE OF YOU LOOK IT UP
Nick: Why look up, when I’ve got everything I need at eye-level, or just slightly below?
Corey: You really know how to ruin a romantic sentence with a non-romantic second clause.
Nick: You really know how to say simple things in too complex a fashion.
Yeah, I really do.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 24 September 2007 to 25 September 2007.