Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Updates whenever I damn well please!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
All naked fake people/fake people having fake sex are 18+ and consenting.
Click Here for Previous Entries!
In which the following pic would normally prompt a snarky joke…
…but this actually is a family.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Or will be soon.
Welcome back to Murphy Hall. It’s Murphy House, now.
Vanessa: You can do that?
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Of course not, I’m not the player.
Cameron Price the Witch: You’re a player.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: On that note, I think I’m ready to win.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Will you marry me?
Vanessa: Didn’t you already ask me?
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Yeah? And you said yes! What’s your point?
Cameron Price the Witch: Are you proposing… Mormonism?
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: I am proposing morewifeism.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: It comes with less weird religious shit, and more expensive jewellery.
Cameron Price the Witch: I accept your selfish proposal.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: My self thanks you.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Don’t fuck William this time.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: You didn’t respond.
Cameron Price the Witch: No, not outwardly.
Cameron Price the Witch: Did you literally buy this dorm?
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Lock, stock, and filthy food plates!
Cameron Price the Witch: Ahh, memories.
Cameron Price the Witch: Eugh, memories.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Well I didn’t kill anyone here.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Unless you count ladykillin’.
Vanessa: Was this dorm always so pretty? I don’t think I ever came here.
Lots of people came here.
Vanessa: I respect your decision to not answer my boring-ass question.
I prettied it up.
A lot.
Think these are my first custom walls/floors!
For a given definition.
Cameron Price the Witch: Turns out the plumbing is full of rats?
Zombies are messy, messes attract rats.
Cameron Price the Witch: No, zombies are weird, and literally flushed rats down the sink for fun.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Can you flush things down a sink?
You can with enough pressure.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Can we make it canon that the sink rats was a joke?
Yes.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Can we make it canon that the sinks aren’t broken?
No.
Vanessa: Hula Hall.
Vanesa: HOOR Hall.
Cameron Price the Witch: It’s good to make a fresh start.
Man, I’m so creative!
Cameron Price the Witch: What?
Being able to imagine characters so wildly different from myself.
Cameron Price the Witch: Yeah, your ability to imagine having sex and making money is pretty fantastic.
Vanessa: Speaking of sex and money…
Vanessa: SEX COSTS MONEY.
Meanwhile, the entire neighbourhood.
On closer inspection, just the Murphies and the Prices.
So, the entire neighbourhood.
Stephen: Nice tux, Fri.
FRIDAY: Nice cultural appropriation, racist.
Romance: Don’t sexy at me, you’re technically my mom.
I think everybody’s mom is here.
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: She sure is!
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I’m not EVERYBODY’s.
You guys, I think I have a lot of characters.
I think I ought to lose a few.
Faith: Start with the robits.
You’re all robits.
Stephen: Have we met?
Bradleigh: Sort of!
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Isn’t this beautiful? Our special day. Yours, mine, and my other fiancé’s.
Vanessa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Do you, Andrew Murphy—
Vanessa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Take this—
Vanessa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Take this.
Vanessa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I’ll stuff some petals in her mouth.
Victor: What’s going on over here?
Franklin: Some sort of ritual?
Vanessa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Franklin: She screams real good!
Lyndsey Price the Witch: Ten out of ten!
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: I didn’t expect a screamcore band at this random party!
Stewart: What are we clapping for?
Ember: I dunno, everyone’s doing it.
Chelsea: I wish.
Kyle: No, I will not “do it” with you.
…
Kyle: I’M NOT OLIVER.
Romance: These fake audience members are very convincing.
Faith: Attaboy, Andy! Marry that politician, I might be in the market for a pardon.
Vanessa: AAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm…
Vanessa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Vanessa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhh.
Once more, with pictures we can actually frame please.
Blah blah you’re married.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: I was kinda into the screamkissing.
Stephen: You look like SHIT
Victor: Alright, when does the orgy start?
When the kids leave.
Amin: I’ll get the suitcases.
Vanesa: OW PHASEHAND
Beatriz Young the Nice Witch: That’s called a WITCHSLAP
Erin: What if William was a Cylon?
Bradleigh: Never catch me getting married.
William: Weren’t you married to Ember?
Bradleigh: Doesn’t count. That’s what she told me.
Grugly Prime: Hope these shots are good, I can’t fucking see.
Sullivan: Where the sinks at? My rats are barkin’.
Cameron Price the Witch: Do you, Andrew, take this woman (me) to be your lawfully-wedded other wife?
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Sad that you’d characterize yourself as the other one.
Bradleigh: Maybe if I met someone I could truly love.
William: Like?
Bradleigh: Like… a sentient sandwich, I guess.
Cameron Price the Witch: We did the thing while you were away.
Good, I hate having to be serious.
Yvonne: Y’all got a peehole in here?
Leonard: How long before he cheats on them both? The duration of the party, you figure?
Vicki: I call this ride “The Roadside Kidnapping!”
Dirk: I’ve always wanted to be on a milk carton!
Cameron Price the Witch: AAAAAAAA just kidding.
Stephen: Hey Sully, where you going?
Sullivan: To crash a plane.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: NOT THE TIME, CHEL
Emerson: Why, is kissing after 2 a problem?
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: You took advantage of lot jealousy being turned off.
Chelsea: Taking advantage is my thing! Being turned off, not so much.
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Which one are you again?
Cameron Price the Witch: Which one are you again?
Kyle Wolosenko-Murphy the Nice Warlock: Me or her?
Cameron Price the Witch: Yes.
Oliver: He’s crashing the plane into this, right?
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Gotta jet, date with Marc Antony.
Bree: Did you murder any fish at the beach, you murderer?
Yvonne: …
Lyndsey Price the Witch: So hey, did you and the Cameron-clone set a date?
Wander Murphy the Witch: Oh, we’re not getting involved with each other.
Lyndsey Price the Witch: Why not?
Wander Murphy the Witch: Because we’re totally incompatible, and it can only end in disasOH HEY ANDY GREAT WEDDING
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: It was pretty good, as double weddings with only three participants go.
Next time: dormestic bliss.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 30 May 2013.