The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 567

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In which, on later reflection, something starts to happen.

Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: I hope it’s something nice!
Victor: I hope it’s not.

Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Oh, you guys had a fight?
Andrea: There’s few fights a good bowl of mac n’ cheese won’t un-have.

Nick: You should try it with the red shit in.

Andrea: So hey, is anyone attached to that creepy chick with the uncanny valley face? ‘cuz she’s still in the house for some reason.

Nick: I’m planning on attaching myself to her.

William: Quite intimately, no doubt.

William Jr.: I know what that’s a euphemism for, dad.
Victor: Oh, boy…
William: You don’t have to be coy about hugs around me.

Samantha: Hmm.
William: Yeah, hmm.

Samantha: I like what a dope he is.
William: Me too.

William: Oh, good, your super powers are manifesting.

Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: No, it’s just my magic bad-eating skills.

Samantha: I like that too.

Samantha: You just bonked my head!
William Jr.: I’ll make it up to you.

Samantha: How?
William: I’ll bonk it on the other side when I go past.

William: You gonna go balls deep on that mannequin chick, or can I dip it?

William: Yeah, I wouldn’t dignify that with a response either.

William: I’ve been given too much dignity already.

Andrea: HEY CHEATFACE
Nick: Yeah?
Andrea: GONNA CHEAT?!
Nick: Yeah.

Andrea: That’s fair.

Uma: Man, having everything I want sucks.

Confidence: Nothing sucks but sucking, honey.

Nick: I’m sorry you feel that way.

Confidence: I’m NOT sorry about what I can feel.

Nick: Yeah, I get my morning wood at night.

Samantha: Get your own room.

Victor: In hell.

William: Bunkmates?

Uma: As long as it’s emphasis on the “mate.”

William: Well, it would be pretty silly to call this a “bunk.”
Uma: Meet me in the middle, would you.

William: Gladly.

Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Sadly.

Andrea: LOUDLY

Uma: FORCEFULLY

Andrea: TREACHEROUSLY

Uma: Delightfully.

William Jr.: Grossily.

William: Adjectively.

Uma: Yeah.

Confidence: I can’t sleep without an evil plan.

Confidence: Luckily, whenever I’m not sleeping, I’m planning.

Confidence: I’ve never tried pickpocketing before, but, I mean, how hard can it be? Considering who has tried it.

Confidence: I’m sure I can manage “unsavoury.”

Confidence: Wow, you have GOT to clean that inventory out. There’s DUST in there.

Confidence: A rolling villain gathers no moss.

Nick: Are you a rolling villain?
Confidence: I’ll be ready to roll soon enough.

Nick: Let me know when it’s happening.
Confidence: Oh, you’ll know.

Nick: Can I get a sick transition?

Grugly2013: I don’t see why not.

Grugly2013: Except that her FUCKING FINGERS were clipping.
Uma: Please don’t wake him up, I’m still exhausted from the night-fucking.

Neila Sharpe the Nice Witch: Night in fucking armour, that’s my dad!

Samantha: Yeah, it’s not at all gross or anything.

Penny: Speaking of not at all gross or anything: pregnancy!

William Jr.: Don’t look at me like that! I’m allowed.

Victor: Will you all be joining us for breakfast?

Nick: Are you doing the scary eyes thing again?
Confidence: Um, of course?

Nick: Yeah, if I could do the scary eyes thing, I’d do it literally all the time.

William: I think I’m having a mid-life crisis.
Uma: I think it’s later than you think.

William: I think I’m still in the pink.

Uma: ♪ The years go by, as quickly as your dink ♪

William: ♪ Enjoy yourself ♪
Uma: ♪ Don’t soil yourself ♪
William: ♪ I’m younger than you think ♪

Andrea: ♪ And many more ♪

DYLAN

Oh, man. Called it!

Dylan: Don’t call me “it”!

Next time: call girls.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 10 May 2013.

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