The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 561

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In which the mile high club goes low-frills.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: But high thrills!

Victor: CLUTCH, O ASS CRACK OF MINE!

Victor: Like my life depends on it, or something.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Wave to the Grey Lady!
Victor: I WON’T

Victor: I can’t take my hands off of you.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: It’s more romantic if you say ey-
Victor: DON’T CHANGE POSITIONS!

Victor: Hahaha holy shit we’re gonna die.

Victor: But! At least we’ll die fucking.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Technically we’ll die falling.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Or from ceasing to fall.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Technically.

Victor: I don’t think technicalities have much to do with our present situation.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: No, you’re right, this is more of a mysticality sort of thing.

Victor: Also, boobs.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I take you flying, and you focus on the boobs?
Victor: Flattering, right?

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: The flying is something I learned! The boobs I got with zero effort.

Victor: It took me some effort to get access to them, though.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I literally summoned you here to have sex with me.
Victor: Yeah, my atoms are tired!

Victor: So hey, what happens if you lose concentration?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: We plummet to our deaths.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I don’t think that was a fair reason to deny me an orgasm, honestly.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Luckily I’d already had, like, three.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Wanna go up again?
Victor: Never.

Victor: I’m a terrestrial lover from this point forward.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Speaking of points moving forward…

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Aww, boo, backward.
Victor: On second glance, yeah, I can see that those would be free version tits.

Victor: Still, the undocumented tits aren’t worth sucking.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: You’re persistently terrible.

Victor: The persistence is key.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I’d say the huge penis is key, from personal experience.

Victor: You have a huge penis?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I have had a huge penis.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I MEANT YOURS
Victor: Cool? I’m not homophobic, just tired.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Tiredness is acceptable.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Slovenliness, not so much.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Jury’s still out on slatternliness.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Oh, yeah, right.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Apello Incestum!

Xavier the Warlock: What-
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: A BURGLAR DID IT

Xavier the Warlock: -was that about incest?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: It’s the Latin word for “cuckold,” apparently.

Xavier the Warlock: What’s that a word for?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Clueless dudes.

Xavier the Warlock: I know some of those.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I’ve known some of those.

Xavier the Warlock: I don’t know what that means.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I know.

Xavier the Warlock: Someone’s feeling amorous tonight!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: You have no idea. Hopefully.

Xavier the Warlock: Hey baby, you ever fucked on a broom?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: DEFINITELY NOT

Xavier the Warlock: I think it would be really cool!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: IT DEFINITELY HASN’T ALREADY BEEN

Xavier the Warlock: …cool! We can try it, then?

Xavier the Warlock: Thank you for saving me from the magic burglar.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Thank you for not thinking things through?

Xavier the Warlock: If I thought things through, I wouldn’t suggest broom sex.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Somehow this is even more dangerous than “broom sex” already sounds.

Xavier the Warlock: I fuck danger for breakfast, baby.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: That’s a bad way to gain calories.

Xavier the Warlock: I hope nobody’s got a BB gun.

Xavier the Warlock: If a hunter shoots us down, do you think they’d stuff us?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: And mount us?

You’re already mounted.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Thank you for identifying the joke.

Amar: I think I felt a drop of rain.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Yeah, well, it’s getting pretty warm up here.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I CAN’T BELIEVE WE SEX-SWEATED THE PAPERBOY

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: It was magnificent.

Xavier the Warlock: YOU’RE magnificent.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Yes.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Anyway, bye.

Xavier the Warlock: I can’t teleport.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Yeah, I know.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I didn’t want him seeing my thought balloon.

Xavier the Warlock: So, Grey Lady, looks like it’s just you and me!
The Grey Lady of SimCity: .oO(Wanna hear a funny story?)

The Grey Lady of SimCity: .oO(It’s about fuckin’.)

Xavier the Warlock: Is it about how I’m gonna fuckin’ get down from here?

Xavier the Warlock: ‘cuz I wanna fuckin’ get down.

Next time: it’s a party in the tertiary cast.

Xavier the Warlock: From here.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 8 May 2013.

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