The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 559

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Okay SERIOUSLY, let’s get caught up already.

Chris: Do you believe in him?
Vanesa: Pff. Of course not.

Yusun: Belief generates fear!

Vanesa: You could stand to have a bit more fear, dear.

Dear fear.

Vanesa: My legs are missing.

Jizelle: Bye, ‘neza! Zorry you died!
Chris: Yeah, tough luck on that “dying” thing, ‘nesa.
Vanesa: What?

Chris: How DARE you kill ‘nesa?!
Corey: What?
Theresa: I’m GLAD you killed ‘nesa!
Corey: …what?

Prof. Von Ball: What?

Theresa: Blehh!
Corey: Mind your italics.

Theresa: You’re leaving too?
Jizelle: Ouat?

Theresa: Hey everybody, Jizelle’s leaving! Let’s have a party!
Jizelle: I don’t want a party.
Theresa: Yeah, you’re not invited anyway.

I can’t be fixing your problems forever, ’13.

Grugly2013: You say that.

Grugly2013: But I see evidence to the contrary.

Corey: Wait, are we breaking up the harem today?

I dunno, there aren’t enough shots of moving mouths to get some dialogue going.

This is rapidly turning into a silent movie.

Theresa: We’ll miss you, Corey!
Corey: Why are you leaving, though?
Theresa: Okay! Bye!

Why are you all leaving?

Theresa: Because we checked our email today, and Brandi’s disbanding the SCIA.

Theresa: What?

Why is that only coming up NOW?

Theresa: Because NOW, my mouth is open.

Theresa: Lovin’ the cowlick, champ.

Theresa: That was sarcasm.

Theresa: I hate your cowlick.

Yusun: So, your neutral organization of neutrality fell apart, huh?
Corey: Apparently we needed a good organization of good to stand in contrast to.

Corey: Also, hello there!

Yusun: DON’T KILL ME
Corey: Oh, man, that’s SUPER hot. Plead moar!

Yusun: You’re making it sad AND gross.

Corey: Christ, use a tissue. I don’t want to send the snot flying when I shoot you.

Yusun: You could just NOT shoot me.
Corey: We’re gonna have to differ on that.

Corey: SAY YOUR PRAYERS
Yusun: I’M AN ATHEIST

Corey: So is god.

Yusun: WAIT
Corey: You really don’t want me to stop this halfway through, honey.

Yusun: I’M TOO OLD AND UNFULFILLED TO DIE

Corey: Existential teenagers.

*shudder*

Yusun: So hey, was someone supposed to come and collect me, or…?

And then she explained that since she hasn’t been moved onto the lot, the game bugged out when she died.

Grugly2013: You’re narrating now?

MOUTHS, 2013.

Grugly2013: I CAN’T FIX IT NOW

Also ROOFS, 2013.

Grugly2013: SAME COMMENT

Grugly2013: Wait, CAN I fix it?!

Yusun: I could be your sidekick.
Corey: Present your side, let me see if I like kicking it first.

Corey: Eat my finger.

Corey: Do you do dishes?
Yusun: That’s a death sentence!

Corey: She learns fast, for an elderly teenager.

Yusun: Yeah, I think this ought to appeal.

Yusun: Wow, look who’s brave!
Corey: Can’t stop, flies will eat me.

Yusun: So, what’s my first sidekick lesson?
Corey: Prudence.

Yusun: Doesn’t really sound like my thing.

Yusun: Wanna sound my thing?

Corey: That’s what I’ve got a sounding rod for!

Corey: Oh, I see you went for the cheese.

Corey: SNAP.

Yusun: …maybe I can outshoot him.

Sure, except only one of you is on the main characters wallpaper from Chapter FIVE HUNDRED, soooo.

Yusun: I’m cuter, though.

Corey: NOT FOR LONG

Yusun: *shoots the ceiling*

Yusun: OH NO I SWALLOWED GLASS

Yusun: AND IT WASN’T EVEN THAT SUGARED STUFF

Yusun: I’m so petarded.

The Grim Reaper: THAT JOKE WAS PRETTY BORDERLINE.

I’ve been good, I earned it.

Corey: The important thing is, she left a stupid-looking corpse.

The Grim Reaper: DO YOU THINK YOU COULD GET YOUR NEIGHBOURS TO ADOPT THESE GLASS CEILINGS? THEY’RE SAVING US A BUNDLE ON BEAM STRENGTH.

Pictured: what happens whenever I try to clean something without getting dirty.

Corey: Well, you shouldn’t kill so many strangers on your porch, then.

Corey: …where’s my car?

So long, Frank Lloyd Wright

Next time: how Shiloh can you Shigoh?

This chapter depicts gameplay from 8 May 2013.

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