The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 552

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In which Elle gets some skin in the game.

Elle: …is this about to blow up in my face?
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: No, but I am.

Elle: WE GET IT YOU’RE HORNY
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Not as much as I get it.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Even though I’m not getting it.

Elle: Alright, she’s out, let’s in.

Elle: We’re allowed to make in-out jokes as long as they’re not sex-related.

Joke. Singular. And it’s been made, now.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: What else we making today?

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: A mess, probably.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Not in my fucking lab, you don’t.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Well hello there, beautiful!
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I AM NOT YOUR BEAUTIFUL

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Teleporting into your snogging range is not informed consent!

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Will you help me transfigure my girlfriend?

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Her name is UH UH UH ELLEN

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: And please don’t tell her I just cheated on her.
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: If I told her you cheated on her, I’d be vastly overdignifying what just happened.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: My life is largely empty of dignity.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: But yeah anyway I’ve got a girlfriend? Only she’s stuck in a teenage body because time here sucks.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: You’re sure she’s not actually a teenager.
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: She’s like fifty.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: This is my ugliest face.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I use it when I want to complain about things.

I know, I know, I should age the townies and NPCs better.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: No, you should keep them out of my lab.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I guess doing what they want will achieve that end.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Please achieve your naked end out of my lab.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: She’s a prime example of why you just don’t move NPCs in with you.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Alright, uh… take your clothes off.
Ellen: I’ll get right on that.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Good.
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: I think she-
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I don’t care.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Okay, but-
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: In a shocking development, I continue not to care.

Ellen: I’m sure it’ll all be fine.

Ellen: WHY IS MY NAME “ELLEN” NOW

Ellen: Also why is my skin on fire.

Ellen: ALSO MY SKIN IS ON FIRE

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Should her skin be on fire?
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: I dunno, maybe?

Ellen: WHY DUN YOU NO

Ellen: WHY CAN I FEEL MY CLOTHES

Ellen: WHY DO MY CLOTHES HAVE NERVES

Ellen: Why am I yelling? Nobody’s listening.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Now she’s getting it.
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: And you’re next!
Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: No.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Those look suspiciously like clothes.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Yeah, I hate clothes. Let’s all get rid of them.

Ellen: Mine heard you!

Ellen: Hey, should I be concerned that this confetti is sending my brain temperature information?

Ellen: Or just excited that I got puberty instead of menopause?!

Ellen: Yeah baby, only mild burnage.

Ellen: Okay, mild to severe.

Ellen: Okay, just severe then.

Ellen: I really liked that dress, too.

Ellen: My whole body is tingly.

Yeah, that happens to me too. There’s something wrong with my allergy response.

Ellen: I think it’s the dress I got mad scienced into my skin, actually.

Yeah, that’s how my allergy response got all screwed up.

Ellen: I’m naked!
Marco: Saves time!

Ellen: I’m also maybe a scientific abomination!

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Sorry, had to reset your Wants panel.

Abigail Young the Unambiguously Neutral Witch: Sorry sorry, also your attraction stats.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Why didn’t you take your clothes off when the mad scientist asked you to? Don’t answer that question.

Ellen: Do you think there’ll be side-effects?
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: If he can think of any clever ones, definitely.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Yeah, good plan, let’s go.
Ellen: What?
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: You’re dressed, now.
Ellen: WHAT?!

Ellen: This isn’t even a dress I own!
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Well, it fits really well for being someone else’s.

Ellen: I don’t own THIS dress EITHER!
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: If we’re going through a list of all the clothes you don’t own… we’re not doing that.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Wait, are you… just… generating this outfits? You should’ve generated a bra for that one but I’m not complaining.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Actually forget what I just said entirely.

Ellen: I think my molecules have clothing powers now.
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: That sounds just dumb enough to be true.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: What triggers it?
Ellen: I think it conforms to what I want!
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: What do you want?

Ellen: UH TAKE A GUESS

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: As you can see, I want that too.

Ellen: Uh. Uh. I’m sorry. Let me… uh.
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Uh as much as you like, baby.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: You didn’t really need to redress me.
Ellen: All affronts must be followed by redress.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Smart words are a big turn-off for me.

Ellen: So, I’ve got a super power now.
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: I wouldn’t call it super.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: But then, I can be convinced.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: You still changing back there?
Ellen: Wouldn’t you be?


Marco Vendachi the Warlock: I’m so glad I brought you into my hole.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: I wish your powers took ambient temperature into account, though.

Ellen: You’re pretty gifted, you know that?
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Yeah, my superpower is somewhat more common than yours.

Ellen: I finally found something about you I like unambiguously.

Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Alright, well, I guess I can’t very well lock you up in the mine anymore.
Ellen: Not unless you want me turning the walls into clothing, no.

Sol: Has OSHA seen this?

Ellen: The gate was unlocked.
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: I might need you to manifest a rag down someone’s throat.

No, I suspect this problem is going to take care of itself.

Sol: Are you here against your will, Nannie?
Nanette: You’re calling me NANNIE against my will, so what do you care?!

Opal, Opal, Opal.

You didn’t get that old by being this stupid.

Ellen: Why don’t you shovel these steps off?
Marco Vendachi the Warlock: Because I’m a slippery slope kind of guy, that’s why.

Next time: things and stuff.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 6 May 2013 to 7 May 2013.

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