The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 537

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In which look who’s slipping again.

This is Alexis. She’s not here.

Don’t look at me like that.

Wren: Like w-

Like your mouth isn’t moving, so you can’t have dialogue.

Wren: How long are you gonna lean on that complaint?

Until the thing I’m complaining about collapses from the weight.

Grugly2013: You can’t collapse the past.

That’s true.

It comes pre-collapsed, doesn’t it?

So, what’re you up to today?

Wren: Thought I might squeeze my own boobies.

Wren: A lot of people have recommended them to me quite highly.

Wren: But I guess I should see if any of them want a squeeze first.

Wren: Hey, main squeeze, how’s it hanging?

Richard: It was hanging before you called, but now it’s standing bolt upright.

Wren: Well, bolt on over here, then.

And through the magic of editing, he did!

Richard: Ugh, hey gerbil-face.

I thought for a moment this thing had died.

That would really suck, because I don’t remember its name.

Wren: I feel that way about most people!
Richard: Why are you pointing at me when you say that?
Wren: No reason. Hey, can I see your driver’s license?

Richard: How ’bout my pile driver’s license.
Wren: Have some pricks, prick.

THEN GET A ROOM

Richard: Dem frex!

Richard: Nothing as comfortable-sounding as “Hang Out” should lead to sitting on a wooden floor.

Wren: You’ll live.

Probably.

Richard: I bet he’s real antsy about killing minorities.

Yeah, there’s an awful lot of whitefolk around here.

Richard: So make some non-white folk!

I will! But I was actually talking about the town where I live.

Richard: Any hot white folk? ‘cuz I’ll be right over.
Wren: I’m not hot white folk enough for you?
Richard: You can never have too many!

Wren: I would tend to agree.

Richard: You think Nick is hot?
Wren: You don’t?
Richard: …well, I mean, no.

Richard: Nottttttt at allllll.

Wren: Aww, did I make you question your sexuality?
Richard: You make my sexuality do all types of crazy crap.

Nothing says romance like links to ancient web animation.

Wren: Nothing should be saying Romance at all, he had his chapters.

Richard: Who had what now?

Richard: THERE’s the money shot.

Wren: I hope you’ve got a deep wallet.

Wren: ‘cuz that’s where money comes from.
Richard: Roughly.

Wren: Ruff ruff ruffly!

Richard: You are weird and adorable.

Richard: And your butt’s just the right amount of skishy.

Wren: So make with the skishin’!

Wren: KISHIN’S NOT SKISHIN

Wren: Okay, check the pics and see if we fuck today.

You… do not.

Wren: But he’s checkin’ out my tits!
Richard: I always do that.

Wren: Well they ain’t free.

Richard: They look pretty free to me.

SHLURPSHLURP

So Windows 10 does this cool thing now where sometimes hitting Alt-Tab doesn’t go back and forth between the two most-used windows.

Grugly2013: What?

UGH IT JUST FUCKING DID IT AGAIN

Grugly2013: What?

That’s how I type these chapters! I type in the document with the pic open to the side, then I Alt-Tab to the pic and hit the “next” button, then I Alt-Tab back to the document and type!

Grugly2013:What?

AND NOW SOMETIMES IT JUST FUCKING TABS TO WHATEVER THE FUCK IT WANTS INSTEAD

Richard: My dick’s vibrating.
Wren: Should’ve stuck it in.

Wren: Not that there isn’t still-
Richard: WHOOPS TOO LATE YOU USED THE PAST TENSE ONCE

Ember: Wanna come be in a different storyline?
Richard: Yes, I do want to come! In a different storyline.

Richard: ‘cuz apparently there’s no coming to be had in this one.

Richard: I’m gonna go fuck your mom.

Wren: Say “hi” for me.

Richard: This won’t make things weird between us, will it?
Wren: Things aren’t already weird between us?

Richard: No, I mean-
Wren: I know what you mean, you meanie.

Wren: Just don’t tell me literally a single thing about it. In fact, take back what you’ve already told me.

Richard: I’m gonna go not fuck your mom.

Wren: Whew! That’s a relief.

Richard: FUCKING YOUR MOM WILL ALSO BE A RELIEF

Wren: …cool.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 3 May 2013.

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