In which I’m pumped ‘cuz my second SCP article isn’t being shat on. Yet?
Anyway welcome to what is now The Brothers Who Don’t Talk Chronicles, apparently.
Wendell: YOU DIDN’T TELL ME WE WERE CHRONICLING
Dirk: I don’t even KNOW WHAT THAT WORD MEANS
Pictured: how I usually feel when I have to play, or write about, FRIDAY and/or WEDNESDAY.
Dirk: That’s also how I feel about romance.
Wander Murphy the Witch: This is how I feel about Romance.
I feel like Romance has a stupid name.
Romance: You named me.
So I feel like I must be right.
Romance: And I feel like I must be in love!
Wander Murphy the Witch: Yes, we’ll sign a contract to that effect later.
Romance: I remember this place! I had sex with William in here.
Those are Cameron’s memories.
Romance: Cameron’s memories are my memories. Up to a point.
Is that weird for you?
Romance: Not really, you’ve forgotten to write any consequences for it, so.
Wendell: A door?!?! I hate comings and goings!
Wendell: A DOOR TO WORK?!?!?!
Romance: I’m gonna have to ask Andrew how he came up with a bomb that only affects furniture, carpet and wallpaper.
Wander Murphy the Witch: I mean, go ahead? I’m right here.
Romance: I don’t want to think of you as Andrew.
Wander Murphy the Witch: Then stop making me think of you as Cameron.
I mean, the more I think of you as them, the more I’ll like you, but hey. Do what you gotta.
Romance: So… clean this shit up, or cover it up?
Wander Murphy the Witch: What do you think?
Romance: I think I’m glad I don’t have to scrub, though I wouldn’t mind watching you do it.
Romance: Or doing it with you.
Wander Murphy the Witch: That part’s a given.
Wander Murphy the Witch: …except I’m super tired right now.
Romance: Oh thank god, me too.
Wander Murphy the Witch: I didn’t really want to have to fake my first time, y’know?
Romance: Hopefully you won’t have to fake any time.
Wander Murphy the Witch: Fat chance.
Romance: You know what ELSE is fat?
I wonder what determines a gender-swapped clone’s dick size.
UGH I COULD TELL THAT WAS THE QUOTE OF THE DAY AS I TYPED IT
IT’S DICKS ALL THE WAY DOWN BABY
Romance: Don’t be down on dicks.
Grugly2013: She’s cute.
Grugly2013: Does that make me gay?
I wish. We’d have better romantic options.
Grugly2013: So, you’re saying I’m still single in 2020.
Does that somehow come as a surprise to you?
Grugly2013: It doesn’t have to be surprising to be depressing.
Grugly2013: I’ve kinda got my eye on someone right now.
Well, unless they’re a Sim, you’re wasting your time.
Grugly2013: Eyeing my Sims isn’t a waste of time?
Unlike all the girls you know, your stupid Sims story stays in your life pretty consistently.
Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: BOW BEFORE ME, MECHANICALS
Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: I REMAIN A FONT OF FONTS
Penny: Look upon my works, ye mighty, and be marginally richer.
Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: YEAH THAT
Just another day in whatever the fuck this is.
I was gonna type “Alright, I’m adding your long-ass name to my autocomplete.”
BUT IT WAS ALREADY IN THERE.
Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: I AM BECOME RECURRENT CAST
Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: I GIVE THIS GIFT OF MUSIC
I don’t remember who she’s engaged to.
Grugly2013: Then nobody does.
HOUSE REMODEL TIME!
I have nothing to say about it.
Ooh, open concept!
I guess awkward claustrophobia is “out” this year.
One of those drapes isn’t getting lit properly.
Yes, this is definitely an improvement.
I can already imagine all the cool and terrible things that will happen here.
Look who’s finally taking some pride in ownership!
Grugly2013: I am become bourgeoisie, destroyer of taste.
Wander Murphy the Witch: Stop tasting my armpits.
Oh, thank god, a better quote.
A match made in science.
Wander Murphy the Witch: I think of us as a matched pair of second chances.
Romance: Except our first chances are together again, too.
Wander Murphy the Witch: Yeah, but they’re fucked.
Wander Murphy the Witch: Unlike us, and our inexplicable non-fuckery.
Romance: I get soft when I’m tired.
Romance: And hard when I wake!
Wander Murphy the Witch: Who says Romance is dead.
Romance: YESSS! That’s all the possible Romance jokes, dealt with!
Wander Murphy the Witch: I love that you’re leaving.
She’s a keeper.
Romance: Of what? Terrible secrets?
Next time: exactly the wrong kind of generational romance story.
…wait, no, not what that sounds like.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 2 May 2013 to 3 May 2013.