The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 507

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In which a product is unintentionally placed.

Xavier the Warlock: On ME

Andrew Murphy the Warlock: No, that was intentional.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Lettuce alone, would you?

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: GET IT?!

Xavier the Warlock: Yeah, I got it alright.

Esther: Why did you do that?
Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Your scary dead animal plaque compelled me.
Esther: OH SO I’LL JUST ASK THE SCARY DEAD ANIMAL PLAQUE THEN SHALL I

Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Please do.

Lots of people are behaving unnaturally today.

Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: It’s probably magic.

Not EVERYTHING is MAGIC.

Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: What a depressing position to take.

Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: I guess everything looks like magic when you see everything through a teal magic haze.

Thornmarie the Evil Witch: You should try EVIL magic! It’s got a GREEN haze.
Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: My masculine instinct is to prefer more basic colour names…

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: You’d think we could go out for one meal without the circus showing up.

This from the couple who look like a Vegas magic act.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Oh, I was gonna eat that.
Sullivan: I know.

Sullivan: That’s why I had to act fast.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Luckily, that was the decoy lobster.

Evelyn: Would you like to join my Limp Hair Club for Women?

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I would like to leave.
Xavier the Warlock: Not before I’m drunk.

Yikes. Two Sullivans.

Sullivan: Think of the possibilities.

I won’t.

What did you do with that lobster, anyway?

Sullivan: Let’s just say, I hope they’ve got a good plunger.

Evelyn: I’m a big fan of that “comb-through-rain-soaked” look you’ve got going!
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Are you a hairstylist?
Evelyn: I’m a judge.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: …a hair judge?

Xavier the Warlock: The ONE NIGHT I’ve got a hot date, and the Snowflake Brigade descends upon me.

Dagmar: I declare this meeting of the Date Wreckers Society closed.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I hate NPCs.

Those are all PCs.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I hate ex-NPCs.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: EXCEPT SULLIVAN
Sullivan: ALWAYS accept Sullivan.

Sullivan: As your lord and savager.

Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Wow, you really think I could limp-up my beard?!

Xavier the Warlock: I’m sorry this didn’t work out.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: If it had, we wouldn’t have gotten an extra chapter out of it.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I call it a win.
Xavier the Warlock: I’ve got salad in my collar.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I’m surprised you don’t have salad in your pockets.

Xavier the Warlock: No, no, my pockets are full.

Xavier the Warlock: Like my HEAARRRRRRRRRT
Kevin Wolosenko-Murphy the Infallibly Good Warlock: Jesus.

Xavier the Warlock: Will you marry me?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: That depends! Get that camera up here and help me assess.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Seriously, I can’t see the ring while you’re down there.
Xavier the Warlock: Me?

No, me.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Hey, yeah! That’ll do, by at least a five percent margin.

Xavier the Warlock: I’ve never been that comfortably acceptable before!

Xavier the Warlock: I don’t deserve you.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Well, work on it.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Constantly.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: I’m serious about that.
Xavier the Warlock: I know you are.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: He should be Xavier the Warlock, by the way.

He is. I’ve gone back and fixed it retroactively, because you reminded me here.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: How does THAT work?

It doesn’t, but whatever.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: It’ll be so cool to tell people I’m engaged to a guy named “Xavier the Warlock.”

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Y’know, as long as they don’t know him.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: And never meet him.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: We’ll need to have an offscreen marriage.


Xavier the Warlock: What took you so long?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Extra dialogue.

Xavier the Warlock: Was it about me?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Even if it was, it was really about me.

Xavier the Warlock: That makes sense.
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Why?
Xavier the Warlock: The world revolves around you.

Xavier the Warlock: At least, from my perspective.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: That’s sweet.
Xavier the Warlock: What, my lip gloss? Yeah, it’s Ivy’s, she left it here.

Xavier the Warlock: When you banished her to the countryside.

Xavier the Warlock: Symmetry!

The death of creativity.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Symmetry isn’t the death of creativity. PRODUCT PLACEMENT is the death of creativity.

I agree, but the relevance of that statement won’t become clear for a few more pics.

Xavier the Warlock: Where’d you get that neat underwear?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Ordered it from this fancy little publication I’m subscribed to called the Buy Catalogue, like ALL OTHER CLOTHING IN THE WORLD.

Xavier the Warlock: I aged into these boxers.

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: You shouldn’t wear your age-in outfits. It’s a slippery slope.
Xavier the Warlock: How is it a slippery slope?
Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Next think you know, you’ll have a Maxis haircut and OH GOD IT’S ALREADY HAPPENING

Notice it yet, Past Grugly?

Past Grugly: Notice WHAT?

thumpa thumpa

Yes, it’s been too long since we explored the hellacious contortions of the undersheetworld.

Xavier the Warlock: Kill me.

Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: WITHIN IS WITHOUT IS WITHIN

Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: I’M A SENTIENT BAG

Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: THAT’S THE WHOLE JOOOOOOOKE

Cymatilis, the Azure Amphora of Antiquity: Can we not do this?

It’s better than watching sweaty teenagers dry.

Xavier the Warlock: THE RITUAL TRIANGLE IS COMPLETE

Shiloh Newcastle the Witch: Were you performing bizarre rituals last night?
Xavier the Warlock: Yeah, the weird bag god dropped off a weird vase god so I had to.

Past Grugly: Aw fuck NOW I see it!

Next time: the redemption of Rich Hill continues.

Somewhat.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 21 February 2013.

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