The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 501

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In which oh, let’s do a short one, that last chapter did take slightly longer than usual.

Brandi: I’d be up for one of those “stay in bed” days, with or without something or someone to do in bed.

Brandi: Gettin’ a little do-crazy, you know.

Using “002.jpg” as the title pic image like I don’t give a fuck.

Brandi: Speaking of fucks I’ve given, holy fuck did I need that fuck.

Brandi: But apparently it’s one of those days where capitalism gets its turn fucking me.

Andrew Murphy the Warlock: Let me know when its turn is over.

Andrew Murphy the Warlock: And I’ll turn you over.

Andrew Murphy the Warlock: BRING HER BACK THIS INSTANT

Everything is possible with fast-forwarding.

Brandi: I work at the SCIA.

Yeah.

Brandi: There wasn’t anything plot-critical happening there today?

I think Past Grugly might have been a wee bit weary of plot-criticality after what happened last chapter.

Actually, I can’t believe this is happening on the same day.

I’m probably thinking “I don’t want to be here, I want to be doing wizard stuff.”

Brandi: Do you know wizard stuff’s number?

Brandi: Hey. I had this great idea for a sex-only chapter, and it’s not too late to start it yet.

William: Sorry bud, it’s my day to spray.

William: Lookin’ GOOD, Brands!
Brandi: That is my bedroom door.
William: Oh. Why are you on this side of it?

Brandi: That’s a fair question.
William: For a fair lady!

William: My fair lady.
Brandi: You’re only renting.

Brandi: How many inches of payment you got?

William: As a man, I enjoy objectification. It’s novel.

Brandi: Did you see us in that big pic last chapter?
William: Yeah, I haven’t looked like that in YEARS, virtual OR real!
Brandi: I looked totally anachronistic! Old outfit, new scar… it really ruined my immersion.

William: Speaking of “immersion,” I feel like I’m drowning in a snifter in here.

William: Took the whole “Brandy” thing a bit too far, with those colours.

Brandi: So… we’re gonna date… outside.
William: It’s the biggest place I know!

Brandi: I guess you’re the expert on big things.

William: Biggest, baby.

William: There’s a BYLAW.
Brandi: How would you enforce that?
William: Scissors.

Brandi: Scissors, you say.

Brandi: I’m feeling like more of a cowgirl today.

William: Saddle up.

William: Pardner.

Brandi: Have we used up the goodwill from FIVE! HUNDRED! yet?

Just about.

Brandi: I do so love my undermining.

Brandi: …I’m naked now.
William: I mined your UNDERS!

William: Snortlaugh kisses are best kisses.

William: I like the extra affirmation.

Brandi: What do you think the next five hundred chapters have in store for us?
William: “Store,” yeah. We’re probably both gonna buy it.

Brandi: This is the first day of the ends of our lives.

William: I can think of worse ways to spend it.

Brandi: WHEN WE SPEND OUR TIME, WE BUY IT
William: BOOBS AHOY

Brandi: I was trying to be profound.
William: I’m just trying to be deep.

Brandi: The seasons are changing again.
William: Change with them, and don’t overthink it.

William: WHILE I OVERDINK IT
Brandi: IT’S LIKE YOU’RE ALLERGIC TO PROFUNDITY

Brandi: BUT I LIKE IT

Brandi: If you were as clever as me, I’d have to kill you.

Pullejaceus, the Black Bag of Bequests: BEHOLD THE FONT

William: I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pantheon created via running joke before.

William: Exciting times.

Brandi: The worst thing about days off, is they always get turned back on.

William: Getting turned on isn’t so bad.
Brandi: It is when you’re a DAY.

William: I don’t know what that means, really.
Brandi: That’s what it means.

William: You’re SO deep.
Brandi: Uh-huh.
William: And clever, too.

Brandi: Forgetting something?
William: Oh, probably.

William: I could stand to do that more often.

Next time: within you, without you.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 21 February 2013.

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