Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates every damn day!
In which it’s never too late to go back to school.
Hey, where’d that “Sharpe” come from?
Vanessa: Hello to you, too!
No, I mean…
Vanessa: I know what you mean.
Vanessa: I’ve promoted myself from married to single.
Hitch-hiking: you’re doing it wrong.
Vanessa: Adulting: I’m doing it averagely.
Veronica: I COULD USE SOME TIPS
Vanessa: I could use some tips, too.
Veronica: That’s lovely, but it didn’t save my pop tarts.
Vanessa: Man, I thought we were rich!
And yet you can’t afford an UPSTAIRS!
Past Grugly: Hey, fuck you guys.
Vanessa: So, hey. Veronica. Your dad’s going to jail forever.
Veronica: THAT’S AN AMAZING ADDITION TO MY TEEN ANGST COLLECTION!
Veronica: Can I tell the kids at school you beat me, too?!
Vanessa: Only at chess.
Veronica: They’d never believe that. They know me too well.
Veronica: Does this mean you’re gonna start dating again?
Vanessa: I think it means I’m gonna start dating for the very first time.
Vanessa: All my relationships have blown.
Veronica: I think it’s a little late for you to be getting into the dating scene, mom.
Vanessa: Fashionably late, though!
Veronica: Can I invite Patrick over?
Veronica: Fascistically late, more like.
After that fantastically non-Bechdel-compliant conversation, what could be next but some gratuitous male gazing?
Veronica: The female gazes also.
Vanessa: Please tell me you’re not shitting back there.
Veronica: I hope not, or laundry day’s gonna suck!
Vanessa: Hahaha. Laundry isn’t real.
Can we trade realities?
Except the club feet.
Keep the club feet.
Veronica: Hey mom, you should go check out that new club downtown!
Veronica: It’s called CLUB FEET!
Vanessa: OH HURRRRRRRGH!
Vanessa: grumblmumble beat you with a club grumble mumble…
Vanessa: Travel clothes!
Where you heading?
Vanessa: Travel glasses!
What can you see?
Vanessa: The same stuff, only less blurrily.
Vanessa: Maybe they’re permanent glasses, actually.
Vanessa: I am just going outside and may be some time.
Vanessa: Your homework is to look up that reference.
Vanessa: Oh, yeah, there’s two of them.
Vanessa: They can watch each other.
Vincent: …what’s supporting that lamp?
Vanessa: You wanna do that thing where people try to recapture better parts of their lives by occupying the same space they used to occupy?
Vanessa: I hear it works, because people are dumb.
Vanessa: SOME MORE THAN OTHERS
Vanessa: I mean, there was mind control, but still.
Did you by any chance list your house on Airbnb?
Vanessa: You came!
Andrew: And what’s more, I won’t make the obvious joke!
Victor: Can you help me with my-
Andrew: Captain, please! Not in front of the townies.
Vanessa: YEAH BUDDY, DRINK IT IN
Pao: Wait, are you killing him?
Andrew: 10/10, would die again!
Vanessa: Please don’t joke to me about dying.
Vanessa: Especially not with where we’re going.
Veronica: Yeah, just write any old bullshit. School’s not real.
Vanessa: I was thinking, we’ve never been back to MNU.
Andrew: Do you really want to, though?
Vanessa: They say you always return to the scene of the crime.
Andrew: The scene of all of the crimes, more like.
Vanessa: Soooooo am I…
Andrew: In love? Apparently. Me?
Pao: I’m ready to go!
Andrew: So go.
Andrew: …is that a date plumbbob?
Vanessa: Sure looks like one.
Andrew: We’re going on a date to the zombie murder capital of the planet.
Vanessa: No, yeah, you’re right, Cecilia. Killed like a billion of them here.
Vanessa: You can hardly smell the rot, these days.
Vanessa: Do you know why I brought you here?
Andrew: I have a pretty good idea.
Vanessa: Let me know what it is, in case it’s better than mine.
Vanessa: What’s significant about this place?
Andrew: Llama Field? Literally nothing. Every other campus stadium in the entire SimNation is called Llama Field.
Vanessa: Fine. Play it coy.
Andrew: I’m old. I don’t get to be coy very often anymore.
Vanessa: Give me a sec to unpack my hammerspace.
Vanessa: Alright. You can’t get different output unless you vary the input.
Vanessa: Maybe this Vanessa won’t get rejected.
Vanessa: This one, even less so.
Here’s hoping he’s got some taste.
The Intriguing Charlatan: I DON’T KNOW WHAT PEOPLE TASTE LIKE
Vanessa: Nobody asked?
The Intriguing Charlatan: HAHA OF COURSE NOT
Vanessa: You look the same.
Andrew: Urination isn’t exactly transformative, Vanessa.
Andrew: Although it seems to have done wonders for you!
Vanessa: I always liked you, Andrew.
Andrew: Really? I never did.
Vanessa: You’re too hard on yourself.
Andrew: You can feel that? I thought we were far enough apart!
Vanessa: Woof, those lines are fresh.
Andrew: When in Freshmania, do as the freshmen do.
Vanessa: All this stuff.
Andrew: For nobody.
Vanessa: Kinda scary.
Andrew: More than kinda.
Andrew: It might as well always be night, at MNU.
Brandi: If it was always night everywhere, it would certainly help us nefarious types.
Next time: schoolhouse rockin’.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 27 January 2013.