Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates every damn day!
In which signifiers float.
Happy Actual Birthday, lumy12! If it actually is. Actually.
Oh my god.
I remember closing a chapter with this image.
It’s been one year ASV since then?!
This daily update schedule is INSANE.
Like Yvette, only slightly better coordinated.
Elle: Wish she’d coordinate herself through the DOOR
What you makin’, Belinda the Malevolent?
Belinda the Malevolent: Macaroni the Malevolent!
Elle: I don’t know how to clean one of these.
Yvette: If I have to bend down to pick that up, I’m coming for you.
Everyone’s coming for everyone.
It’s like the opposite of the real world right now.
Brett: What’s going on in the real world?
There’s a flu without a vaccine and most people are filthy idiots so they’re just now learning how to wash their hands and not crowd together, coughing furiously on each other.
Brett: What’s “wash their hands” mean?
I forgot, you’re a kid.
Kids are mobile disorderliness.
Jerome: I went somewhere and came back!
Also not guaranteed in the real world anymore.
Yvette: Relax, kid. He’s not made of candy.
Brett: I’m glad, ‘cuz if he was I’d have to eat him.
Yvette: Go to your room, Jerome.
Jerome: I’m Jerome.
Yvette: I know.
Jerome: Do your mind-over-matter homework.
Brett: I wish Yvette didn’t exist!
Esther: .oO(Surely this isn’t the best place for that.)
Jerome: I want to ask her what was in that thought bubble.
Deborah: Woo, more Newcastles. Woo.
Brett: Put some spunk into it!
Deborah: That’s what she said.
Deborah: Yeah, sorry.
Esther: .oO(YESSSSSSS. BURRRRRRRN!)
Jerome: My favourite part of birthdays is the presents from the clothing fairy.
Jerome: The hair fairy really screwed you, though.
I’m going to regret those shark eyes, aren’t I.
Jerome: I need to wash the baby.
Brett: I need to brush my teeth.
Jerome: Let’s compromise. I’ll wash your teeth and you brush the baby.
Jerome: I’ll assume that gagging was caused by the toothbrush.
Deborah: I don’t like it when you follow me around.
Deborah: I’ve seen The Walking Dead. I know what it means when the show pays too much attention to a character who’s nearly been written out of the main plot.
Speaking of witch.
Esther: .oO(What a magical world!)
Esther: .oO(I can’t wait to tell everyone about my imaginary friend, Mr. Dickle.)
Esther: .oO(He’s a pickle dick.)
Some might call this a mod gone horribly wrong.
Obviously I disagree.
Brett: I think we need to burn all that witch stuff.
Toby Kauker the Atrociously Evil Warlock: BEFORE IT BURNS YOU
Brett: It only burns when I pee.
Pretty sure if this ever happened to me I’d die.
Any of it.
Belinda the Malevolent: Is that, like, the opposite of a glory hole?
Jerome: Did you piss yourself, Deborah?
Deborah: No, but you’re pissing me off, Jerome!
Belinda the Malevolent: Hey honey bye.
Jerome: That’s it, keep the awkward interactions to a minimum.
Belinda the Malevolent: HOW IS KICKING FLAMINGOS NOT EVIL
Jerome: I’M SAD THAT I’M HAPPY I SAW YOU
Jerome: Your penis also makes me sad.
Jerome: My penis makes me sad.
Deborah: My lack of penis makes me sad.
Deborah: Yes, my lack of GETTING penis makes me sad.
Belinda the Malevolent: Sure, walk in on me while I shit and call ME evil.
Belinda the Malevolent: Ya little… shit.
Brett: Fine, I’ll go clip through my bed then.
Mr. Dickle: *watches and waits*
Belinda the Malevolent: I feel a porn coming on.
Belinda the Malevolent: To me.
Belinda the Malevolent: In me?
Belinda the Malevolent: …to me?!
Belinda the Malevolent: Lance? Is this you? This is you, right? This is you.
Deborah: It’s not fair. All the other blandies became characters.
Belinda the Malevolent: Hey. Mom? An evil monster man has a message for you, and I guess I’m the messenger.
Belinda the Malevolent: The message is impolite.
Belinda the Malevolent: Which is why I’m delivering it naked.
Belinda the Malevolent: And green.
Let’s pretend the green is because I’m writing this on St. Patrick’s Day.
Which I am!
Belinda the Malevolent: Inflammo.
Belinda the Malevolent: Hahaha bye apparently.
Deborah: Did she cast an ankle-breaking spell?
Deborah: ‘cuz both my ankles are broken.
Deborah: Is this usually here?
Deborah: Is THAT usually THERE?!
Deborah: WHO LIT A FIRE UNDER MY ASS
‘s about time.
Deborah: DON’T PANIC, SOMEONE WILL RESURRECT YOU!
Deborah: …OKAY NOW I’M PANICKING
Deborah: Why would she do this?
Evil mind control.
Deborah: Why would ANYONE do this?
Just plain evil, I guess.
Belinda the Malevolent: And perhaps a desire to prune off the dead story branches.
Yeah, this one’s been hanging there a while.
It’s not the only one.
Deborah: I THOUGHT MY SURVIVAL WAS A RUNNING JOKE
I guess it ran out?
Deborah: HELP ME, NOT-ON-FIRE DEBORAH!
Not-On-Fire Deborah: I couldn’t help her.
The Grim Reaper: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO?
Toby Kauker the Atrociously Evil Warlock: NIGHT DICKS!
Belinda the Malevolent: Go away, Mr. Dickle.
Belinda the Malevolent: Or I’mma put you in a jar.
Brett: Alright, let’s get this piss over with.
Brett: Otherwise I’m gonna have a dick looming over me all night.
Brett: Life got real strange real fast.
Mr. Dickle: You done, son?
Brett: OH NO MR. DICKLE YOU HAVE A SCARY FRIEND
Toby Kauker the Atrociously Evil Warlock: I AM SCARY! I’m so scary I-
Shit, look, the ceiling’s down.
Toby Kauker the Atrociously Evil Warlock: …so scary I-
Sorry, shut up, I’m too distracted by the ceiling being down.
Mr. Dickle: Aw, you upset him and he left.
Mr. Dickle: Guess it’s just you and me now, kid.
Mr. Dickle: PSYCH
Brett: Burn it.
Brett: ALL OF IT
Toby Kauker the Atrociously Evil Warlock: Say good morning, dick.
Mr. Dickle: Good morning.
The things I do for jokes nobody will get.
Brett: Mornin’ Belly!
Belinda the Malevolent: Okay! Let’s put a cease and desist on THAT nickname RIGHT away.
Brett: YOU GOT MY MOM KILLED, I CALL YOU WHAT I WANT
In fairness she got her own mom killed, too.
Brett: HOW IS THAT FAIRNESS
Next time: grims, bugs and steel.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 19 December 2012.