The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 442

Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

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In which questionable things are ably questioned.

Michael: Hey Sharpe.
Vanessa: Hey Whittaker.

Lookin’ Sharpe.

Vanessa: Lookin’ Bennett, technically.

Veronica: What’s with the random food?
Vanessa: Randon acts of butlerness.

Veronica: We’re eating together! Like a family!
Vanessa: Yep. “Like” one.

Michael: I take it we’re not actually a family because I’m crazy now, and that apparently disenfranchises me in my own home?

Veronica: Do you still get to be mayor if you’re crazy?
Anthony: Look what I caught in the porcelain pond!

Alec Prince the Damned: Gotta keep that damnation quotient up.

Alvin Woodrow: You think your bodyguards will protect you?!

I see everyone’s ringing in the new year with as much maturity as they can muster.

Vanessa: My husband’s insane and my sister’s insane, why can’t I be a little kooky?

Vanessa: Anyway I think I’m seeing things.

Veronica: That balloon better not be about me.

Veronica: The SCIA figure out what’s wrong with you yet?
Michael: They’ve narrowed it down to ENTROPY being awful or me being awful.

Michael: At least I’ll be awful and rich.

Veronica: I know they’ll find a cure for you, dad.
Michael: Please don’t touch me.

Michael: Like, please please don’t.

Veronica: Ohhh. Riiight.

Veronica: Hey man, congrats on being a sexy beast!
Michael: …ARE THEY FUCKING WITH YOU, TOO?

Veronica: Yay! We can go nuts together.

Veronica: Good news, mom! Whatever the bad people are doing, it’s completely deleted my family ties with dad!
Vanessa: That’s not good news. You won’t get any inheritance when I kill him, now!

Veronica: Do you want to know how many bolts of chemistry I have with him?
Vanessa: Never ever ever.
Michael: Seconded!

Vanessa: This isn’t really ENTROPY, right? It’s just a glitch in the neighbourhood.

Maybe ENTROPY is glitching the neighbourhood?

Veronica: Maybe don’t say terrifying, the most terrifying, things?

Vanessa: I still haven’t ruled out Michael being a whackjob.

Veronica: We’re whacking on the same job now, though.

Michael: Never say anything like that ever again.

Michael: AND STOP FUCKING TOUCHING ME

Michael: FIX THIS!

I’d have to quit the game.

Michael: BULLSHIT

Michael: k I’m moving to Antarctica, bye.

Veronica: Watch out for ants!

Michael: Oh god, oh god, why am I here again.

High chemistry Sims always try to be near each other.

Michael: FIX THIS

Veronica: You need a hobby, dude. Something to take your mind off things.
Michael: I’m thinking of taking up furious masturbation.

Veronica: You could do more of that boring finance stuff.
Michael: Honestly even I’m getting bored with that.

Michael: SPORTS! Rich and weak edition.

Michael: Only the rich can afford hacky sacks, they stopped making them when the nineties mercifully ended.

Michael: I think I might be able to scratch my wrongness itch by cheating on Vanessa.
Veronica: Suicide by mom, huh? Bold move.

Veronica: Aw not THIS shit again.

Veronica: Grats on bein’ such a smokeshow, by the by!

Veronica: Isn’t he just dreamy?
Vanessa: God, I wish this was just a dream.

Vanessa: Alright kid, time to grow up. We need to at least tie the number of crazies in the house.

Veronica: What if he turns out to be crazy?
Vanessa: I’ll lock him in the dishwasher.

Michael: Woo! Child abuse!
Veronica: Also abuse of the mentally ill! Woo!

Vanessa: Woo.

Vanessa: WE’LL LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW WELL YOUR BRAIN WORKS

Vanessa: BUT WE WOULD PREFER SANITY, GIVEN THE CHOICE

I don’t know if aging into an outfit that looks like a pictorial representation of insanity is a good sign.

Michael: Stopppppp.

Veronica: Happy birthday, Brett! Please don’t judge us.
Michael: No matter how hard I am. IT IS.

Veronica: Go take a shower.

Veronica: A cold one.

Michael: Goddamn Vanessa. Her freaking sister’s fucking with our brains, and she’s all like “Maybe it’s actually your fault?”
Veronica: Yeah, why doesn’t she believe your wacky conspiracy theory? What a bitch.

Michael: Wait, you don’t believe me either?
Veronica: Maybe mental illness isn’t exclusively supervillain-caused?

Michael: WHY WOULD I BE MAD AT UMA

Michael: Okay, focus on something else. Anything else! Uh… I like this star. I like how pointy it is. I’d like to STICK A SWORD UP SOMEONE’S ASS oh wow, where did that come from.

Michael: Is it Opposite Day, or something?

Michael: Or is it just Hug Anyone Who Doesn’t Want Hugs Day?

Veronica: We should get some fresh air.
Michael: All your windows are open already.
Veronica: We should go out in public where the scrutiny of our neighbours will dissuade us from immoral activities.
Michael: Now you’re talkin’!

Michael: We’re gonna get the Neighbourhood Watch on an anti-incest kick.
Vanessa: That might piss Cecilia off more.

Brett: Please don’t go crazy like everybody else.

Michael: Okay, let’s mock this weirdo.
Veronica: You SUCK, weirdo!
Michael: I said mock, not… suck at mocking.

Veronica: Wow, being outside does take the edge off from wanting to fuck my da-
Michael: HEY THERE HOW YA DOIN’

Michael: Is she still there? She’s still there, isn’t she.

Please don’t let that be from Michael.

Michael: How would it have been from me? We didn’t go on a date.

Nothing seems too nonsensical or terrible at this point.

Michael: Hey, you know what’s funny? Being outside at NIGHT is NOT HELPING AT ALL.

Michael: We’re not doing this.

You fucking AREN’T.

Veronica: Definitely not.

Not in MY story.

No.

Michael: Just one-

NO. This wasn’t “the Maker doth protest too much.” HANDS OFF.

Veronica: Scrumptious.

Okay, maybe I will quit the game.

Michael: Wanna hear something about nobody?

Michael: You’re pretty hot, you know, UHHH PERSON I’M NOT RELATED TO

There’s been a lot of vacation walkbys today.

Vanessa: Don’t want to hear about it.

A lot of vacation characters are with ENTROPY.

Vanessa: Don’t want to hear about it!

They might be what’s fucking up everyone’s brains-

Vanessa: YOU LEFT THE ROOF DOWN

DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT

Alright, new solution.

Yeah, that’s right, run. I’ll tranq your gross ass too!

Veronica: I feel a lot better now, actually!

You’re just saying that so I don’t knock you out again.

Veronica: I mean, partially.

Michael: PLEASE HELP

Veronica: Move your butler.

Veronica: Who’d you call?
Michael: Many people around here are smarter than me, but there’s only one I’ll admit to out loud.

Michael: And if she can’t figure it out, well, at least I’ve got three bolts of chemistry with her.
Veronica: We’ve got three-
Michael: Shut up SHUT UP

Oh, maybe this is what he was mad at Uma for, retroactively.

Vanessa: I’m gonna eat a slice of cake every time you do that.

Vanessa: And break off a piece of your dick.

Michael: I’d like to break off a piece of my dick in her!
Abigail: Did you give him my number?

Abigail: Alright, other Alvin, what do you want.

Michael: Do you think I’m sexy?
Abigail: No, but my hormones do!

Michael: My daughter agrees with your hormones.

Michael: I think ENTROPY is brainwashing us to behave like gross weirdos.

Michael: Some of the grossness, everybody’s already noticed. The rest of it, I think, might get someone killed eventually?

Michael: I’m off my gourd, all my Wants are fucked up, and I have a chemistry score with my own daughter.

Michael: And I want to stab someone.

Michael: At this point anyone would do.

Abigail: And this is the story we lead off the new year with?

Abigail: Okay, have you received any strange objects in the mail recently?
Michael: Yes!
Abigail: Like what?
Michael: I forget.

Michael: What? I can’t hear you.

Michael: Yay for bad running jokes.

Michael: If you can’t fix me, will you at least fuck me?

Michael: Right now? In the bushes?

Michael: The bushes of lo-

NO.

I’m not wasting that song on this.

Vanessa: It would certainly be a waste.

Abigail: You know, the machine I used to turn Bradley into Bradleigh can alter brain chemistry.
Michael: What about Nightlife chemistry?

Abigail: You’re awfully touchy today.
Michael: I’m trying to counteract all the weird daughter-hugs I got.

Veronica: They were weird for me, too.

Abigail: I’ll see what I can figure out.
Michael: Have you ever seen something you couldn’t?

Abigail: …people.

Abigail: But hey, no big loss, right?

Michael: Yeah, who needs ’em.

Next time: night time!

Despite what you may have heard, it is not always the right time.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 17 December 2012.

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