The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 418

Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates every damn day!

Click Here for Previous Entries!

In which geez, let’s see if I can go a whole update without making a music video out of it.

Andrew: Now I see why those women don’t want to be in the refrigerator!

Mallory: It’s good that you’re naked. We’ve abolished clothing in your absence.

Andrew: That would be great if most of the people in this house weren’t my family.

Andrew: Oh, good. Hibernation sickness is a thing.

Andrew: Thank god you don’t have the technology to make me shatter.

What are you doing?

Amin: Marking my territory while the marking’s ripe.

Did you bring that up from the downstairs fridge?

Mallory: I don’t want food from the dude fridge, so yes.

Are you eating in the bathroom?

Mallory: I’m eating in PRIVACY.

Nathaniel: If you think about it, dad’s lucky.
Margaret: How you figure?
Nathaniel: He’s the only one who had privacy this entire time!

Mallory: GET OUT OF MY TERRITORY

Margaret: You’re gross.
Nathaniel: Only “gross,” after years underground!? SWEET!

Nathaniel: It’s the erection that bothers me.

Amin: ALL THIS IS MINE

Andrew: Beg to differ.

Andrew: So hey, I miss anything?

Margaret: Yeah, there’s magic everywhere and your sisters are on the lam and your ex-wife’s on the lam and Penny’s apparently evil.

Andrew: MAN, I love that pink hair!
Amin: That huge wacky infodump, and you’re focusing on MALLORY?
Andrew: That huge wacky infodump consisted entirely of distressing details, AMIN.

Nathaniel: Yeah, I called her number and they said she’d moved. On.

Genie: I hear and obey the master of the lamp!
Angelica: Oh god. We owe you reparations, don’t we.

The Grim Reaper: I THOUGHT Y’ALL HAD ENOUGH BROOKES ALREADY, BUT WHATEVER.

Nathaniel: This one has fluffy hair.

Angelica: I want to be rich.
Genie: You’re already rich enough to be eccentric, judging by that outfit.

Angelica: You should talk!

Still got that boner, huh.

Andrew: Cum’s froz-

DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT

I should’ve seen that coming.

Andrew: Cumming.

DAMMIT

Nathaniel: Welcome to the Price-Murphy Nudist Colony!
Brooke: Ew. Why.

Brooke: You’re not naked.
Stewart: Women prefer me this way.

Angelica: You don’t know how to use EFT?

Margaret: Dammit! I already magicked those walls up once!

Angelica: Shut up, ALIEN.

Bethany: I’ve decided to spend the rest of my life doing nothing useful.

Me too.

Dirk: I’ve decided my name is Dirk.

Nathaniel: Get that out of my face unless you want me to do something with it.

Amin: She’s presenting, dude.
Nathaniel: She’s not a bigfoot, dude.

Mallory: No, he was right.

Mallory: There’s a non-freckled model?!

WHUMP

Angelica: …shtup… alyen…

Andrew: I’ve had just about enough Cecilia-related mayhem in my life.

Well I’ve got bad news for you, then.

Franklin: ♪ Well I would not feel so all alone… ♪

Franklin: ♪ EEEEEEV’RYBODY MUST – GET – STONED ♪

Brooke: With REAL STONES.

Andrew: Thought you were about to do another music video.

With BOB DYLAN?

Emerson: Do you think we should fill that hole in?
Nathaniel: I am thinking about filling Mallory’s hole.
Emerson: …I meant the hole we were living in.
Nathaniel: I would like to live in Mallory’s holes.

Genie: I’m not sure how to answer that.

Mallory: Don’t.

Margaret: k well you’re welcome guys

Emerson: I’m sure we’ll all be super thankful once the shell shock wears off.

Amin: I hate you nudity bandwagon-jumpers. I was nude BEFORE it was cool.

Bethany: Why does he live here, again?

Angelica: We let all kinds of weirdoes live here.

Victor: Oh, yes, a RUG. How CHARMING.

Victor: I’ll just leave this here.

Angelica: Yes, I realize I haven’t been returning your calls, but have I got one HELL of a good excuse for YOU!

Dirk: Why’d you put your underwear on?
Angelica: So someone else can take it off.

Nick: You can do it for me. My hands are lazy.

Angelica: Ignore the naked children.
Nick: That’s always been my policy!

Angelica: Do not ignore the nearly-naked teenager.
Nick: That has also always been my policy.

Angelica: So yeah, I’ve been sleeping in a hole in the foundation.
Nick: You hippie chicks are weird.

Angelica: Penny went nuts and trapped us all in the basement and also probably wasn’t Penny.
Nick: Hahaha! That’s just like not-Penny to do that.

Angelica: DETRAUMATIZE ME

Angelica: That’s it! Hook on, and pull down.

Nick: What a time to be alive.

Franklin: OH COME ON

Nick: Hi, whoever you are!
Franklin: Have fun fucking my niece, whoever you are.

Nick: Maybe I will!
Angelica: “Maybe”?!

Nick: No, definitely.

Nick: This is much better than fucking my relatives!
Angelica: It sure is!
Nick: You’ve fucked my relatives?
Angelica: Nope!

Nick: Ohhhh, wow. You too?

Amin: POSEURS

Angelica: Nude life fo’ eva, Amin!
Amin: ♪ This nudity shit is MINE! MOTHERFUCKERS! ♪

Nick: ♪ Nick gon’ give it to ya ♪

Nick: Whoops! I did.

Angelica: I gave as good as I got.

Nick: Got any sisters?

Nick: Nope, just kids. Lots of kids, everywhere. Second erection thoroughly defeated.

Angelica: We could make out?
Nick: I already made out alright.

Angelica: Okay! Got out of the hole, fucked Nick… that’s my life plan already dealt with.

Angelica: Are we sure this one’s Dirk?

I am incapable of holding that information in my mind.

WAIT!

NO!

THIS ONE’S DIRK

Andrew: I’m glad you feel comfortable exposing your many faults to the world like this.

Says the man standing in front of a photo of him kissing the woman who locked him in a refrigerator.

Andrew: TOO SOON, DUDE

FOOMPF

Penny: help

Next time: mo’ magic, mo’ problems.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 9 September 2012, a day which may never end.

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