Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates every damn day!
In which spying is hard.
Jane: Another day at the destabilizing third-world democracy mines.
Jane: And then a stop at the mechanic’s, to get the floor put back in my car.
Jane: I still think walling the parking lot in was an extreme measure.
Jane: Even if somebody knew what this place was, they’d have to be a moron to try to get inside.
Jane: Even the posted guard is a bit much.
Nice job wrecking the shot with Build Mode lines visible, Past Grugly.
Past Grugly: I am the gift that keeps on taking!
Aren’t you worried about alarms?
Laci: I’ve never been much of an alarmist.
Laci: Also my contact cut the phone lines.
So wait. Whose side are you on?
Laci: I’d hardly call it a “side,” what with there being only two people on it.
Laci: I didn’t pick it, it picked me.
So you’re… spying for Cecilia.
The evil secret agents… are they also spying for Cecilia?
Laci: Maybe! She doesn’t let her one spy know what the other spy is doing.
It’s not a good sign when my plot confuses me.
Laci: Your problem is the details. You need to consider the bigger picture!
What’s the bigger picture?
Laci: A picture of everything, on fire.
Laci: The SCIA wants to keep the status quo. TAUTOLOGY wants to become the status quo. ENTROPY wants a status chao.
Which one is TAUTOLOGY again?
Laci: Cory and Brandi.
Aren’t Cory and Brandi also in the SCIA?
Isn’t Brandi ALSO in ENTROPY?
Laci: It must be a lot of fun inside her head, yeah.
So you’re stealing info for… Cecilia?
Who is in charge of ENTROPY.
Is she also in charge of TAUTOLOGY?
Laci: Look, it’s trying to think.
Laci: No, she’s just manipulating them. Through me.
How is she contacting you? I’ve never seen you meet, or get calls, or whatever.
Laci: You know those weird quilt signs they put on old barns?
Laci: Those are QR codes with evil secret agent instructions encoded.
Laci: Shit, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have sprung that one on you all at once.
Laci: Clean your brains off the walls before you follow me.
Keith: You can stand inside the door, you know. I doubt anyone’s gonna try an external assault.
Here’s a fun game. Download the previous image and this one, and switch back and forth between them. Earthquake simulator!
Cory: Did you feel that?
Brandi: That’s what she said.
Cory: There’s my favourite plainclothes defective!
Laci: The part of the plan where I wait on the roof in the rain until the workday is over is my least favourite part of the plan.
Cory: We got a report of a break-in at the courthouse. Look into it, would you?
William: Maybe you could work together on that one.
William: It sounds right up your ASS. I mean ALLEY.
Cory: Nice to see you, Mr. Governor.
William: I thought I’d drop by, invade your workspace, see how you like it.
Cory: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
William: I should’ve just set off my office bomb.
Cory: You bombed your office?
William: You’d be surprised what I’ve bombed.
Jane: He’s so cool.
Keith: Checkin’ in on us, boss?
William: Checkin’ up on you. I see you’re still keeping an open mind.
Keith: It’s not open, it’s just slow.
William: Drink some coffee or something.
Cory: So, the phone lines are down.
Keith: UGH. It’ll take HOURS for headquarters to send someone.
Cory: We could just call the phone company.
Keith: And then bury whoever they send, afterwards.
Cory: I volunteer.
Keith: Oh, hey, I left it logged in! Now I can spend the rest of the day wondering if everyone here knows what kind of porn I like.
Keith: And watching the kind of porn I like.
Keith: An entire Coke bottle?!
Keith: SOMEONE SAW MY PORN
Keith: BRANDI DID YOU SEE MY PORN
CAN WE FOCUS
Keith: Someone’s been accessing my terminal!
Brandi: How do you know that?
Keith: Because it was logged on!
Keith: So I forgot my password a week ago, and I’ve been too embarassed to tell anybody!
Brandi: Are you saying someone else knows your password, and you don’t?
Keith: See, this is why I didn’t tell anybody!
Keith: Someone’s cyber-spoofing us.
Brandi: That’s not-
Keith: I want all y’all to get to your vehicles and drive directly to the internet!
Cory: That’s not-
Keith: Arrest Google, arrest Al Gore, arrest AskJeeves, whatever. Find out who it was!
Jane: The fuck is AskJeeves?!
Keith: WE’RE COMPROMISED!
Cory: I know I am!
Keith: This is serious! My browser history is a national security issue, because I don’t know how to clear it or use incognito tabs!
Cory: The idea of the SCIA chief being extorted by PornHub makes me feel giddy.
Keith: Well, giddy up!
Cory: The idea of doing work makes me fatigued.
Brandi: I’ll arrest the real person, Jane, you arrest the search engines.
Cory: I’ll go round up Anonymous!
Brandi: I think we should consider just killing Keith.
Brandi: Oops, I definitely didn’t mean to hit that button.
Laci: Music to my ears! Or it would be, if they weren’t full of RAINWATER
Cory: I’m gonna go get a burger.
Jane: I’m just gonna go home.
Laci: Home sounds good.
Laci: Then again, so does a burger.
So, how’s being a triple agent treating you?
Brandi: The pay is good but the hours are murder.
Brandi: Get it.
Wait, you’re not done?
Laci: I’m downloading gigs of data in the background so they don’t notice it. It’s been going this entire time.
I wouldn’t’ve thought you could be so sneaky, looking at you.
Laci: Yeah, I’m so low-key I could almost fall asleep.
Laci: Luckily, rain.
Laci: WHAT A LOVELY NIGHT ON THE TOWN
Brandi: I’m warmer and dryer, but not a lot less bored.
Brandi: I said NOT A LOT LESS BORED.
Brandi: I’m surprised she missed that opportunity.
tap tap tap
Brandi: Oh, derp, I forgot to unlock the windows.
Brandi: I bet she was really eager to spring out at me. Serves her right for always trying to-
Brandi: Okay, so: I’m on your side, Cory’s on your side but doesn’t know it, and Jane, fuck Jane.
“Penny”: How do you know you’re on my side? Nobody but me even knows what my side is.
Brandi: I know it’s the side that’s got you on it, which makes it the least dangerous side by default.
“Penny”: Alright, well. Be ready to move when I give the signal.
Brandi: When will that be, roughly?
“Penny”: Within the next ten, twenty years.
“Penny”: Okay, here’s the important part.
“Penny”: psst psst psst
Brandi: WOW, really?
Brandi: I can’t wait to see that!
“Penny”: You’re gonna, though.
Brandi: You used to be all about chaos in the here-and-now. When did your plans get so… long-term?
“Penny”: When you get older, you start thinking about your legacy.
“Penny”: It’s never too late to make a change, make something of yourself. Especially something terrible.
Brandi: I thought I might take up crochet.
Brandi: Okay, bye?
Brandi: I need new/any friends.
Laci: Well, look who it is.
“Penny”: Will you?
Brandi: You know DAMN WELL I wanted to answer that call!
Brandi: FUCKING phones.
Brandi: Oh, hey. No, we haven’t looked into the break-in at your office yet, somebody looked at porn on Keith’s computer and he sent us out to arrest the internet.
Brandi: I hate him so much I think it just made me stop hating you.
Brandi: It is never too late to change!
Brandi: Some things.
Brandi: Man, we really need to do something about this.
They’re just.. fucking sitting there, where anybody could pick them up!
Brandi: They’re also loaded. But, like, do you unload them first, or put them somewhere safe first? It’s just too hard to get things started sometimes, you know?
Brandi: Nothing ever gets done until somebody gets hurt.
Brandi: And we’re about due.
Brandi: Why’d you come back?
Jane: Because I don’t trust you here alone.
Brandi: That’s fair.
Brandi: Why’d you come back?
Cory: Because I don’t trust you here alone with Jane.
Brandi: That’s fair.
Keith: Why’d I come back? BECAUSE I SUCCEEDED!
Brandi: Is that… the mailman?
Jihoon: I’m a package carrier.
Keith: HE ADMITS IT!
Jihoon: Why’ve you got swords on your wall?
Keith: Because we’re secret agents! Duh.
Brandi: Good job keeping the secret, boss.
Brandi: Whoah. Okay.
Keith: Success makes my pee-pee hard!
Jihoon: You’re making this too easy.
Brandi: Back up a bit, chief.
Brandi: So I can DRAW.
Next time: sorry about that, chief.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 15 July 2012 to 16 July 2012.