The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 390

Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates every damn day!

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In which I forgot to post it but I just change the date so it looks like I didn’t.

Geez, if you’re gonna do false advertising, it should at least be enticing.

Kea: Hey, can you come over? I’m the last of my household and I think we’re about to get… cancelled.

Bet he doesn’t come.

Kea: He’ll come alright.

Corey: Oh no, the non-characters are fighting!

Corey: You look like that chick from Agents of Shield.
Kea: The Asian one?
Corey: No, funnily enough!

Corey: Oh, good, you’re a magician. Dudes love magicians.

Kea: NOW! BITE HIM!

Kea: Last time I buy from that sentient rose dealer.
Corey: I feel like… I feel like I’ve got a bit of headline stuck up there. Can you see it?
Kea: Just below the border, yeah. It’ll be gone by the next pic.

Corey: Is it gone?
Kea: Yeah.
Corey: Awesome! Conflict resolved, let’s wrap this thing up.

Corey: Flattered as I am, I don’t want to go down with your sinking ship.

Kea: You could involve me in your no doubt nefarious plan to bring down the man in yon mansion.
Corey: What makes you think I’m planning something?
Kea: Either you are, or at some point you were and your face permanently stuck that way.

Corey: I don’t want some amateur household-stealer ruining my evil scheme.
Kea: But I really want to.

Corey: Also you’re ugly.

Kea: That isn’t remotely true.
Corey: I mean, every time I look at you, all I can see is your character status. “Tertiary” is an ugly look.

Kea: I have my own house. I’m secondary at worst.
Corey: I’m secondary, and I take what you just said as a very serious insult.

Corey: My brain says “leave,” so you’re lucky my penis gets a veto.

Kea: I could just kiss it!

Kea: I will kiss it.

Kea: And not just.

Corey: Yep, janky transitions, we’re losing the Maker. Make with the porn, pronto!

It’s not a good sign that I straight up don’t remember what happens to her.

Kea: Maybe I can make a comeback in Gen 3, then!

I know you think you want that, but you haven’t seen Gen 3.

Kea: It can’t be worse than this endless interregnum.

Yeah, this trailer park is a good metaphor for Gen 2, post-apocalypse, I’ll grant you.

Kea: So hey, the ENTROPY newsletter says we’re body-snatching people now. Isn’t that nifty?!

Corey: There’s a newsletter?!

Corey: BEST. TRANSITION. EVER.

Corey: So wait, do you remember what happens to me?

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Kea: HAHAHAHAHA
Corey: Hahaha?

Boy, do I.

Corey: ♪ [Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima] ♪
Kea: Aww! So romantic!

Kea: I like how you made all those horrifying screeches with your voice.

Kea: I tried to keep a clean house.

Corey: You’ll probably fail on both counts.

Kea: At least I’ll fail cute.

I think you might be the extent of what is possible with Maxis faces.

Kea: It’s nice, and sexist, of you to say so.

Corey: It’s kind of racist, when you think about it.
Kea: “Maxis” isn’t a race.
Corey: Oh, what, you’re racist too?

Corey: I won’t feel bad one-night-standing you, then.

Corey: Maybe two nights, if you throw in another BJ.

Kea: He’s a charmer.

Kea: Lucky he’s got a bangin’ bod.

BANG

BANG BANG BANG BANG

Kea: Thanks for the guest appearance, honey.

Corey: Pretty sure you’re the guest, even in your own home.

Corey: I mostly promise not to sell off all your stuff.

Kea: I don’t have any stuff.

Kea: Except what you stuffed me with.
Corey: And that’s mine. I’m kinda partial to it.

Corey: Do it. I dare you.

Stinky Skunk: .oO(Racist.)

Yeah, I definitely like that face.

Kea: Facist.

And, uh, that’s it.

Next time: some intriguing intrigue.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 14 July 2012.

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