Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates every damn day!
In which I forgot to post it but I just change the date so it looks like I didn’t.
Geez, if you’re gonna do false advertising, it should at least be enticing.
Kea: Hey, can you come over? I’m the last of my household and I think we’re about to get… cancelled.
Bet he doesn’t come.
Kea: He’ll come alright.
Corey: Oh no, the non-characters are fighting!
Corey: You look like that chick from Agents of Shield.
Kea: The Asian one?
Corey: No, funnily enough!
Corey: Oh, good, you’re a magician. Dudes love magicians.
Kea: NOW! BITE HIM!
Kea: Last time I buy from that sentient rose dealer.
Corey: I feel like… I feel like I’ve got a bit of headline stuck up there. Can you see it?
Kea: Just below the border, yeah. It’ll be gone by the next pic.
Corey: Is it gone?
Corey: Awesome! Conflict resolved, let’s wrap this thing up.
Corey: Flattered as I am, I don’t want to go down with your sinking ship.
Kea: You could involve me in your no doubt nefarious plan to bring down the man in yon mansion.
Corey: What makes you think I’m planning something?
Kea: Either you are, or at some point you were and your face permanently stuck that way.
Corey: I don’t want some amateur household-stealer ruining my evil scheme.
Kea: But I really want to.
Corey: Also you’re ugly.
Kea: That isn’t remotely true.
Corey: I mean, every time I look at you, all I can see is your character status. “Tertiary” is an ugly look.
Kea: I have my own house. I’m secondary at worst.
Corey: I’m secondary, and I take what you just said as a very serious insult.
Corey: My brain says “leave,” so you’re lucky my penis gets a veto.
Kea: I could just kiss it!
Kea: I will kiss it.
Kea: And not just.
Corey: Yep, janky transitions, we’re losing the Maker. Make with the porn, pronto!
It’s not a good sign that I straight up don’t remember what happens to her.
Kea: Maybe I can make a comeback in Gen 3, then!
I know you think you want that, but you haven’t seen Gen 3.
Kea: It can’t be worse than this endless interregnum.
Yeah, this trailer park is a good metaphor for Gen 2, post-apocalypse, I’ll grant you.
Kea: So hey, the ENTROPY newsletter says we’re body-snatching people now. Isn’t that nifty?!
Corey: There’s a newsletter?!
Corey: BEST. TRANSITION. EVER.
Corey: So wait, do you remember what happens to me?
Boy, do I.
Corey: ♪ [Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima] ♪
Kea: Aww! So romantic!
Kea: I like how you made all those horrifying screeches with your voice.
Kea: I tried to keep a clean house.
Corey: You’ll probably fail on both counts.
Kea: At least I’ll fail cute.
I think you might be the extent of what is possible with Maxis faces.
Kea: It’s nice, and sexist, of you to say so.
Corey: It’s kind of racist, when you think about it.
Kea: “Maxis” isn’t a race.
Corey: Oh, what, you’re racist too?
Corey: I won’t feel bad one-night-standing you, then.
Corey: Maybe two nights, if you throw in another BJ.
Kea: He’s a charmer.
Kea: Lucky he’s got a bangin’ bod.
BANG BANG BANG BANG
Kea: Thanks for the guest appearance, honey.
Corey: Pretty sure you’re the guest, even in your own home.
Corey: I mostly promise not to sell off all your stuff.
Kea: I don’t have any stuff.
Kea: Except what you stuffed me with.
Corey: And that’s mine. I’m kinda partial to it.
Corey: Do it. I dare you.
Stinky Skunk: .oO(Racist.)
Yeah, I definitely like that face.
And, uh, that’s it.
Next time: some intriguing intrigue.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 14 July 2012.