Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
Okay so it’s not the shortest, but it’s still pretty short.
Rapidly becoming the Vieux Family.
Laci: Who you calling vieux?
Wren: We were wondering if you could turn off the thing that’s keeping us from leaving.
Laci: We have a thing that does that?
Wren: Don’t you know? Aren’t you an evil super spy?
Laci: I am pretty super!
Laci: I’ll put in a good word for you. Try not to piss yourself.
Wren: Trying so hard right now.
Hailey: I’m more of a shitting danger, myself.
Jizelle: Outzide iz grozz.
Corey: Plenty of gross inside too, I’m afraid.
Jizelle: Take a peecjur, it’ll last longair.
Corey: Way ahead of you.
The Babe With Two Heads.
Corey: Bit of a stretch.
Neil: You know what I’d like to stretch?
SHUT UP SHUT UP
Laci: It’s your birthday, kiddo! Make a wish!
Elvis: .oO(I wish you’d call me by my GODDAMN NAME)
Brandi: I’m not getting up.
Laci: He’ll get up enough for both of us.
I’m sure there’s a rhinestone joke in here somewhere.
It’s just too much pain for too little gain.
Laci: Just like motherhood! In my opinion.
Well, I mean. You’re CECILIA’s mother. You’d need a lot of gain to counteract the pain she’s caused.
Laci: I can only hope this one will turn out just as interesting.
Elvis: .oO(I won’t.)
Laci: At least he smells interesting.
Why don’t you get a nanny?
Laci: Because we’d either have to kill her for seeing too much, or watch her die of malnutrition on the doorstep.
Personally I’d enjoy seeing that.
Laci: Then you must be loving this death of a thousand cuts I’m suffering.
Laci: Life is like a full potty.
Brandi: You never know what you’re gonna get?
Laci: Sure you do. You’re gonna get shit.
Jizelle: I want a tripod bazooka.
Laci: Maybe I could blend him.
Elvis: .oO(It’s good to be wanted.)
Hailey: Tell me that’s a nanite cloud.
Laci: Just thinking about the front door gives me OCD.
Laci: And thinking about Corey gives me PDD.
Wren: This is BS.
Laci: Go to bed.
Laci: You can’t think of a caption for this pic. It’s five in the morning. Go to bed.
…see you in the afternoon.
Laci: Get some sleep?
Yeah, but now I can’t remember what we were doing.
Laci: Your daughter is trapped on our lawn. Please collect her.
That was a nice thing to do.
Assuming you didn’t just get Stephen trapped on the lawn as well.
Stephen: WREN! COME HERE! BECAUSE I’M NOT GOING THERE
Wren: OH THANK GOD CALL THE COPS
Stephen: Daddy’s little marionette.
Stephen: …daddy’s little sprinkler?
Wren: NOT MY FINEST HOUR
Wren: UH UH I’M PREPARING FOR MY EIGHTIES
Wren: I need food. And a shower. And counselling.
Stephen: Oh, excellent. Touch me. Great.
Stephen: I hated these clothes I’m wearing.
Wren: BE MORE SUPPORTIVE
Wren: Are you feeling an irrepressible urge to stay here?
Stephen: Nope. Maybe if you’ve already lived here, it doesn’t work on you?
Wren: That’s stupid but then this whole thing is stupid.
Now this is a really good shot. The next pic I took isn’t nearly as good.
But I just had to share it because THAT STINK TRAIL.
You appear to be writing in a novel.
Laci: Nonsense! I’m carving out letters for a ransom note.
A ransom note for who?
Laci: Spencer! His family doesn’t know he’s dead.
Laci: Should I make it rhyme? Decisions, decisions.
You’re a perfect storm of attractive and unhealthy-looking.
And by “perfect” I mean “toxic.”
Brandi: I know we haven’t done a song this chapter but please don’t make it “Toxic.”
Brandi: That’s no thing to wake up to.
Jizelle: Bettair zan waking up to bubblez.
Or being up all night because you can’t get off the porch.
Elle: Yeah, that’s stupid.
Brooke: Welcome to Porch Club.
Corey: I think we need a new intruder handling system.
Jizelle: It reelly doezn’t deflect suzpizion when ze people are all dying on our doorztep.
Jizelle: I can’t handle that accent much longer.
Laci: I’m feeling kinda bad about being bad.
Laci: Even though it looks so good on me.
Brandi: You get used to it. Or Cecilia kills you.
Brandi: It’s not a difficult decision when put in those terms.
Brandi: Squeaky-clean on the outside, a hot murderin’ mess on the inside!
Corey: It’s a living.
Next time: ‘stutes.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 9 June 2012.