The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 361

Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!

Click Here for Previous Entries!

Okay so it’s not the shortest, but it’s still pretty short.


Rapidly becoming the Vieux Family.

Laci: Who you calling vieux?

Wren: We were wondering if you could turn off the thing that’s keeping us from leaving.
Laci: We have a thing that does that?

Wren: Don’t you know? Aren’t you an evil super spy?
Laci: I am pretty super!

Laci: I’ll put in a good word for you. Try not to piss yourself.

Wren: Trying so hard right now.

Hailey: I’m more of a shitting danger, myself.

Jizelle: Outzide iz grozz.

Corey: Plenty of gross inside too, I’m afraid.

Jizelle: Take a peecjur, it’ll last longair.
Corey: Way ahead of you.

The Babe With Two Heads.

Corey: Bit of a stretch.

Neil: You know what I’d like to stretch?

SHUT UP SHUT UP

Laci: It’s your birthday, kiddo! Make a wish!
Elvis: .oO(I wish you’d call me by my GODDAMN NAME)

Brandi: I’m not getting up.

Laci: He’ll get up enough for both of us.

Elvis: .oO(Uh-huh.)

I’m sure there’s a rhinestone joke in here somewhere.

It’s just too much pain for too little gain.

Laci: Just like motherhood! In my opinion.

Well, I mean. You’re CECILIA’s mother. You’d need a lot of gain to counteract the pain she’s caused.

Laci: I can only hope this one will turn out just as interesting.

Elvis: .oO(I won’t.)

Laci: At least he smells interesting.

Why don’t you get a nanny?

Laci: Because we’d either have to kill her for seeing too much, or watch her die of malnutrition on the doorstep.

Personally I’d enjoy seeing that.

Laci: Then you must be loving this death of a thousand cuts I’m suffering.

Laci: Life is like a full potty.

Brandi: You never know what you’re gonna get?
Laci: Sure you do. You’re gonna get shit.

Jizelle: I want a tripod bazooka.

Laci: Maybe I could blend him.

Elvis: .oO(It’s good to be wanted.)

Hailey: Tell me that’s a nanite cloud.

Laci: Just thinking about the front door gives me OCD.

Laci: And thinking about Corey gives me PDD.

Wren: This is BS.

Laci: Go to bed.

What?

Laci: You can’t think of a caption for this pic. It’s five in the morning. Go to bed.

…see you in the afternoon.

Laci: Get some sleep?

Yeah, but now I can’t remember what we were doing.

Laci: Excellent.

Laci: Your daughter is trapped on our lawn. Please collect her.

That was a nice thing to do.

Assuming you didn’t just get Stephen trapped on the lawn as well.

Stephen: WREN! COME HERE! BECAUSE I’M NOT GOING THERE

Wren: OH THANK GOD CALL THE COPS

Stephen: Daddy’s little marionette.

Stephen: …daddy’s little sprinkler?

Wren: NOT MY FINEST HOUR

Wren: UH UH I’M PREPARING FOR MY EIGHTIES

Wren: I need food. And a shower. And counselling.

Stephen: Oh, excellent. Touch me. Great.

Stephen: I hated these clothes I’m wearing.

Wren: BE MORE SUPPORTIVE

Wren: Are you feeling an irrepressible urge to stay here?
Stephen: Nope. Maybe if you’ve already lived here, it doesn’t work on you?
Wren: That’s stupid but then this whole thing is stupid.

Now this is a really good shot. The next pic I took isn’t nearly as good.

But I just had to share it because THAT STINK TRAIL.

You appear to be writing in a novel.

Laci: Nonsense! I’m carving out letters for a ransom note.

A ransom note for who?

Laci: Spencer! His family doesn’t know he’s dead.

Laci: Should I make it rhyme? Decisions, decisions.

You’re a perfect storm of attractive and unhealthy-looking.

And by “perfect” I mean “toxic.”

Brandi: I know we haven’t done a song this chapter but please don’t make it “Toxic.”

Brandi: That’s no thing to wake up to.

Jizelle: Bettair zan waking up to bubblez.

Or being up all night because you can’t get off the porch.

Elle: Yeah, that’s stupid.

Brooke: Welcome to Porch Club.

Corey: I think we need a new intruder handling system.
Jizelle: It reelly doezn’t deflect suzpizion when ze people are all dying on our doorztep.

Jizelle: I can’t handle that accent much longer.

Laci: I’m feeling kinda bad about being bad.

Laci: Even though it looks so good on me.

Brandi: You get used to it. Or Cecilia kills you.

Brandi: It’s not a difficult decision when put in those terms.

Brandi: Squeaky-clean on the outside, a hot murderin’ mess on the inside!

Corey: It’s a living.

Next time: ‘stutes.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 9 June 2012.

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