The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 337

Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!

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This week: sweet, merciful brevity.


More accurately it would be the Gonzaga-Murphy/Landchild Murphy Family, I should totally have…

…why is Andrzej in this picture.

Sure, let’s commit whoever this is to posterity.

Stewart: WHY DO I STILL FIND YOU HOT

Rosemarie: Forbidden fruit, man.
Stewart: Poisoned forbidden fruit.

Rosemarie: You’re married to someone else. I’m married to someone else. Obviously it’s time for you to move on.
Stewart: I still can’t believe the guy you ran over married you.
Rosemarie: The first hurdle in any relationship is getting the other person’s attention.

Asia: Mornin’ husband!
Stewart: But what will I be by evenin’?

Stewart: Are you jealous of Rosemarie?
Asia: Why? I married you.
Stewart: Some people would say that’s already one good reason.

Stewart: HOW DARE HE MARRY SOMEONE I DON’T LIKE

Brooke: Y’all got good drama in here?

Asia: Looks like it.

Leonard: Hi! I’m Leonard! I’m super pumped to meet new people since I’m not dead anymore.

Brooke: I’m not new people. I’ve been here for eight decades.

Stewart: Fada soola… gor… ?
Brooke: I HATE HIGHER EDUCATION

Stewart: How would you like a lower education, then?

Stewart: What would you charge for a skimpier outfit?
Brooke: I don’t want to see you in a skimpier outfit.

Asia: Yup. That or the icecaps. Either way it’s over.
Sir Wally: In history as in nature, decay is the laboratory of life.
Asia: Yeah, okay.

Stewart: Really?
Leonard: Chicks dig hot bods.
Stewart: Really.

Stewart: How come the school bus doesn’t come anymore?
Asia: For who?
Stewart: For you? And Leonard?
Asia: We’re adults.
Stewart: But you’re so short.
Asia: Yeah, and Rosemarie eats like a baby.
Rosemarie: Waah waah waah.

Stewart: BETTER NOT BE MY WIFE IN THAT BUBBLE

Stewart: And yet they won’t raise wages or offer benefits.
Wally: Let the ruling classes tremble at a Communistic revolution.
Stewart: Tell me more.

Caryl: A playable! Quick Caryl, put your game face on!

Caryl: Does he even see me?
Leonard: You’re blocking my light.

Leonard: Alright, hi. Is this what you want? Are you happy now?

Caryl: I’m huggy now.

Leonard: Cool, that’s not weird.

Leonard: And you’re not gross.

How funny would it be if she ran over Leonard?

Asia: Not very funny.

Right! Super funny, you said it.

Why can’t you people appreciate your own spouses?

Leonard: Because you don’t want us to?

Oh, sure, blame god.

Leonard: Ooh, curves.

Rosemarie: Can you art appreciate somewhere else?

Leonard: The art is best here.

I’ve started putting cages around my garbage cans.

Because there’s a point where things that are irritating to deal with in real life are also irritating to deal with in life simulators.

Leonard: Like lust.

Nah, lust is still good.

Leonard: Your argument has convinced me.

Leonard: Sleeping under art has some weird side effects.

GO TO JAIL

Nanette: But-

GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL

Nanette: But!

DO NOT PASS GO

Nanette: …what?

DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS

Nanette: What?

That’s a pretty great ass.

Rosemarie: So are you.

Asia: Why are you talking to the mirror?
Stewart: I’m asking it which of you is fairest.

Stewart: I did not like its answer.

Rosemarie: What are you doing in here?
Stewart: Putting my thing where it goes.
Rosemarie: I think I have to agree to that first.

Stewart: Our wedding party was pretty great, huh? The best part was we weren’t married yet for most of it.

Rosemarie: Yeah, actually getting married was a really anticlimactic way to conclude.

Leonard: I’m anticlimactic?
Rosemarie: You’ve never made me climax.

Leonard: …I haven’t?
Stewart: What’s the point of marriage, anyway? We’re all gonna die.
Rosemarie: Sir Wally thinks the proletariat are going to murder us in our sleep.
Stewart: Cecilia is gonna murder us in our sleep.

Rosemarie: We should run away together.

Rosemarie: We should run away together.
Stewart: Ship’s sailed.
Rosemarie: I’m sorry I killed and then married your brother!
Stewart: Ship. Has. Sailed.

Rosemarie: We can still make this work.
Stewart: Yeah, it does sound like work.

Stewart: I’m sorry our lives became such a daytime soap.
Rosemarie: I’m not! It’s funny.

Rosemarie: Friends?
Stewart: Less and more.

Rosemarie: Yay! No closure!

Stewart: It’s better this way.
Rosemarie: It’s hotter this way.

Yeah, this is definitely a sustainable situation.

Stewart: Wait, you still think he’s hot?!
Rosemarie: I have poor taste in men! Don’t complain, you benefit.

Stewart: I can’t wait to collect those benefits, friend.

A FIFTH?!

Asia: …oh! Okay. We’re doing this now.

Rosemarie: Why can’t you just leave me to my shame?

Rosemarie: I CAN’T SEE MOTHERFUCKER
Leonard: This angry art installation is amazing!

Leonard: I wanna roll on into her station.
Rosemarie: What?
Leonard: Just thinking aloud, you can’t get mad.

Asia: Can I?

Sir Wally: The cloak of love is only a shadow – the naked empirical ego, self-love, the oldest love, remains at the core.

Stewart maxes Charisma and nothing makes sense anymore.

Rosemarie: Yeah, check out that peerless sex-machine.

Rosemarie: Good. More art. Now I’ll never sleep.

Leonard: No, they can’t talk to you right now, the chapter’s ending.

Next time: Gen 3 starts becoming sentient.

It won’t go well.

This chapter depicts gameplay from 15 April 2012.

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