Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
In which a brief palate cleanse is attempted.
And I attempt to make the mayor a character, with mixed results.
Dagmar: Spoiler alert.
Dagmar’s a pretty cool lady.
Dagmar: Flattery alert.
I see you’ve got something of a theme going.
Dagmar: It’s useful for politicians to think in black and white.
Useful, but dangerous.
Dagmar: I’ll tell you what’s dangerous: formal wear.
Dagmar: The things we do for objectification.
Dagmar: But hey, juice!
Amazing juice, apparently.
Dagmar: How sweet the sound!
Dagmar: But suddenly I can’t hear it.
Dagmar: I’m so rich I can afford to balance my shit precariously.
Dagmar: Hi Emmy!
Emmy: That fucking NOISE!
Dagmar: You don’t like my voice?
Dagmar: Ugh, me either.
Emmy: It was her voice.
Emmy: Who doesn’t like helicopters?
Blazej: So this is basically just a bus, right?
Dagmar: Just don’t hit anything.
Blazej: Not even really breakable stuff?
Dagmar: We are really breakable stuff, buddy.
Blazej: I never thought about it that way. Thanks for the mortality check.
Dagmar: You’re safe. You’re a driver NPC. I don’t think you can be killed, with only a stub character file.
Bill: Are you offering me skin pigment?
Nathaniel: Sidewalks are for nerds.
Who the fuck is mad at DAGMAR.
Dagmar: Jealous is more like.
Certainly not jealous of the company you keep.
Agatha: Thank god the helicopter is drowning her voice out.
Dagmar: I have literally no idea who you are.
Agatha: Call the cops on them.
Dagmar: I now literally have every idea who you are!
Dagmar: …and you can teleport?
Dagmar: Hello, SCIA? I’ve got a teleporting stalker.
Dagmar: Yeah, she’s in my house now. I have a house now. And she’s in it. Now.
Dagmar: Yes, I would judge you if you kissed your boss.
Dagmar: Now I’m thinking about criminals for some reason. And now you’ve teleported in. So who am I talking to.
What is happening in that phone?
Stop thinking about Don! We don’t want him here!
Dagmar: I think I’m talking to Don now.
Don who is in prison.
Dagmar: I guess if you’ve got nobody for your one phone call, you call the mayor?
Don: Jail sucks.
Dagmar: Glad to hear it?
Theresa: Translucent remote!
Cheryl: So how are you people coming with catching Daisy White?
Theresa: Catching her? What did she do? Also she’s dead!
Agatha: Wow, don’t you guys read the chapters?
Dagmar: C-listers out.
Cheryl: I made C-list!
Dagmar: MACARONI STRETCH
Dagmar: So thought bubble cameos are your new thing, huh?
Dagmar: I don’t know you, and I don’t care to know you.
She has read the chapters!
Dagmar: Haha, yeah! They scarred me.
Dagmar: Scarred me.
Dagmar: It’s cool, I know you have a quota.
This barely meets it.
By quantity, I meant. Not quality.
Dagmar: Fair enough.
Dagmar: Man, hitmen are expensive.
You should just kill her with an axe.
Dagmar: Are you a hitman? You look like a hitman.
Dagmar: I think I want to hit her myself.
To this day I still think of this as Dagmar’s underwear.
Dagmar: “To this day?” What happens to me?
Lady, it’s been six years. Something has happened to everyone.
Dagmar: As long as everyone is suffering, I guess it’s fine.
Dagmar: Where does one get an axe?
Dagmar: On the upside, perpetual clang machine!
Dagmar: On the downside, garbage can cramp.
On the poopside-
Dagmar: Get out of my bathroom.
Emmy: Hey badhair.
Dagmar: This is why I lock the gate.
Dagmar: That, and I’m neurotic.
Next time: jailnanigans.
This chapter depicts gameplay from 12 April 2012.