The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 317-B

Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

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The middle of Chapter 317, now unscrambled for your viewing pleasure.

Yeah, you’re really really gonna want to read 317, 340, and 341 first. Just sayin’. With emphasis.


Brooke: WHAT is that SMELL?!
Aurora: Your hand?

Brooke: I don’t get it.
Aurora: I don’t doubt it.

Nerissa: Ouch. Leonard Murphy hair? On a woman, no less.

Nerissa: I mean ooh don’t you look pretty.
Penny: Hey, thanks Chief!

Nerissa: I was being sarcastic, you guys. Man she’s stupid.

Penny: If this is the kind of day it’s gonna be maybe I should just step off the roof.

Penny: Oh! Hello! Wait, that’s not right.

Penny: OH NO I’M SHOCKED

Penny: OH NO I’M SHOCKED FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE

Penny: Okay, you’ve officially wasted my shock.

Penny: But I’ll forgive you if we leave it at this.

“Penny”: I’m not into being forgiven.

“Penny”: Also HA! You look stupid.

Penny: We’re on the roof of a POLICE STATION. What’s the next step in your brilliant plan?
“Penny”: It’s less of a step and more of a hop.

FOOMPF

Penny: Ohhh.

Penny: Shit.

Penny: Why are you doing this?
“Penny”: I try not to corrupt my actions with reasons.

Jizelle: Zounds like rain.

“Penny”: Whoops, misjudged that one a bit.
Penny: Ow?

Penny: Just leave me here, I’ll be fine.

“Penny”: Why would I want you to be fine?!

Penny: Please, not the ray gun again. It makes me feel like a Republican inside.

Penny: That was a joke about how conservatives have no soul.

I wouldn’t exactly call that a “joke.”

“Penny”: I hope I get to keep doing this long enough to find out if it ever gets old.

“Penny”: Hold on to your stupid shoes.

“Penny”: I really need to learn long-distance teleporting.

“Penny”: Although my precision is pretty damn impressive!

I’ll fucking say.

Chandler: VAT ZE SERIOUS FACK

“Penny”: Drop the fake accent, dude. We’ve already got that covered with a semi-main character.

Chandler: Here is the plot-specific item you requested.
“Penny”: Mysteries within mysteries!

“Penny”: Just because this part is unscrambled doesn’t mean it’s going to explain everything.

Penny: Oh, here comes the floor again.

“Penny”: I wish all our agents were as competent as you, Chandler.
Chandler: I used to run ENTROPY in these parts, woman.
“Penny”: And then you attacked an SCIA agent unarmed. You really want to dredge up old history?

“Penny”: If she escapes, I’m going to eat you.

“Penny”: Raw.

“Penny”: Welp, back to the pig race.

Chandler: Let’s see if we can’t find a box your size.

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