The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 317

Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!

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In which plot, sort of.


Andrew: Ugh, I hate plot. Count me out.

Andrew: Plot kills my family.

Amin: We’ll miss you. As far as you know.

Andrew: You’re a pal, Harry.
Amin: It’s Amin.
Andrew: It was a joke.
Amin: It was a lazy joke.

Franklin: Wow, I’d better not have kids.

Brooke: The results might be bad but the process is awesome.

Repeated for emphasis: the results might be bad.

Looks like a spaceship from Schlock Mercenary.

Oh damn, what’s her name.

Oh come on, what’s her name.

It starts with an ‘M’.

Wait, I’ve got the game open! I’ll check.

MALLORY!

Mallory: So you’re saying I don’t live, huh.

Andrew: I think it’s time you learned how to do homework.
Mallory: Yeah, that sounds like a fun use of my few remaining moments.

Mallory: The real characters get way better itineraries.

Angelica: I’m a real character!
Franklin: I used to be.

Briefly, very briefly.

Typical dog-walking attire.

Brooke: We’re not related, kid. There’s no genetic value to my helping you.

Brooke: Curse your cuteness.

Chelsea’s cat is still alive.

Oh damn, what’s its name.

Starts with an ‘M’.

Brooke: Wow, you looked better from a distance.
Nathaniel: But still not good, right?

Brooke: Yeah, my standards are low.

You just sit there until I think of something to do with you.

Brooke: NEW PERSON HERE, SHAKIN’ THINGS UP!

Nathaniel: You can shake my thing any time.
Brooke: Ew.

Wait, how are you starting another date?

Did the game crash again?

Where did I put my fancy error message pic…

Nathaniel: My digits articulate.
Brooke: Your tongue, articulate!

Wow, someone cheated on Nathaniel.

That implies someone already had a relationship with Nathaniel.

Today is amnesia day apparently?

Nathaniel: Like my new girlfriend?

They’re all too polite to say anything.

Andrew: And that’s how you use a pencil.
Mallory: Riveting.
Andrew: Keep up with your studies and someday you’ll be as smart as Franklin here.
Franklin: What’s this weird symbol on the wall?

Andrew: I wish these people wouldn’t litter.

Andrew: Take your fucking flowers back.

Kenya: Superhero carpool program is a success.

Penny: Penny’s here!
Kenya: She sure is!

Mallory: She looks like she’s had a hard day.

It was a real mess. Let’s take a look.

aSooaLr?Brrodh:YentLAMAo?ah:WikuTEutsHr!

enIiorudo:A:BttIdtoo.abnrtruoeogtitdk.

?srdasOyuoerrh,Mnnuhnm:LaoaweonpsNeOhscaraiil.

ekk.Chp,NIse:Pisnayten:Hemfosrtnhooteoenoauayoyidhnylrt!

stsir:NyygbsrneaidahnsauagiacpIwseoctssusueMsi..,

fteodnbuibIoofyetakfhsyesafsituosf:PjetdIenhgonylhnptsmenahirsiodt.

tegttsnen:Hy!Prlt!Ohhhiaoi,Wlonta.

IDONPHKnSH:neOEMyOC

EACOPSEDISOOynCFRNNHNEOLGMeAODMnK:H

ylae,.Po,Ouynatoyaly’cikosffvw:dimshneekyc

ulees:Pntlyauweioy.fiIlvetitt’Born’aihvegf.

“gnenoiit”menbIyrninvngt:Poofe

odkAsleuplsuHtn:Yo!Ayon”Poi.”

“seeonfPphfE’P’a’SrriystnphaafaTtWoCIlr:Pnoyernoflet:OrNyAWaisaIltmetn.TptnxlbopIetneoesoLOinneheuetsoandsoh?”

nPhyhne:Oh.

Snt:hiyenP.

siuow ptoey ncsutd.ogyeht te:ni nymronhooata riph n “a tys”yyo iirrw? npent: n scr

sneiak:lriz edezju.nolil

?sy”:ndoo twd,ypp”pnwamoh ebu : jns iengh teoi ntae.

nvi:ltlslynhe’p baeeef,eru ie n e j.e m

?iwn “tf n” hotlpn euyuow yd: oiwanee! by

naait. rda nsyceaesaiieeaebyugntine npahgks. e n pum , ikf l lrt epe:mlo liee n

:l eao”u uthtajeo bwvla”j txotank hoyi e telsowrcass.ahe lec oytwa’ealntpvcnvno.n d ihtksoa au

novkfegeudetgnehitiptn “t ns e og lnoiiop hi elst:.hdonioge”o yr e d p t guo ifet

dpose hooruni sn s yntyd:lhuo”t”pe. o

las coopane:ntegidiedyatnnlrt.lpn e egtrre e”loiylnn-e”

shevnli y” ys epui ecnsnmy en!rot gtariorimd:pthep”smpai

llyaniig kcu’.s f

o snfaaseu rcl devarezkh:itc

ahe hnd ate dfthp no.wrrs” w-epa,:c lt amtcneee eremviten hae’deoica g. crd”octratua kd yyieav

meidwn fseheys tn:tss”rni”yihmdtost ipen!secc ecirth up -reeere masp:trie i.eyoeleiyqht ul

isti eos sbd egvn ‘:npier ae tshbsnannij”ipmeoegrhu y’actd .yrelxn lgt ea”mtiatpssneco tu

o mnylf,eoe.ohnteahognah r es :irecp

yoal plahhaa it rdst tnhrs i,l o p.” u”cr .:esyetucu m uyega: oyr s,o enreu”en naeethyklr thryys weecds maant r?sonaoteuowegand:rwccl wnr nnaltindiesd doeadaeegdrtdatneo si pm hy a ean nntnuoaopunl ei n .p t p”et

eohnupa:snygiipoe.”mo’ es tn fge s aey i, tc”

pna”r”.e ny:w

wpei rgcank .peyl”ec ,hpa :obte”tn

ewetis.bd lnexc o:eezelrt‘ dfa ysnr oh ‘ac nuia s fi

Wow, that was pretty intense, huh?

Whatever happened, I’m sure it’ll be unclassified within the next, oh, fifty chapters or so.

Brooke: I’ll be brutally honest here: I’m just using you to boost my stats.

Mallory: I think he’s staring at my tits.
Penny: That’s my horndog!
Franklin: I’m looking, too.
Penny: You’re alive again?

Nathaniel: Hey Penny, Brooke’s using me.
Penny: Sweet score, whoever you are!

Andrea: I think your dad might be my dad.
Emerson: I’m not even sure he knows he’s my dad.

Franklin: This had better be a good joke, because Melanie is basically local Hitler.

Hahaha “local Hitler.”

Penny: Time to shift the palate.

Penny: Man, terrorists suck.

Right? They’re terrible.

Penny: Right? So ineffective.

Penny: Glad I’ve got such a hunky man to come home to, and the new mental chemistry to appreciate him!

Penny: Hey buddy, long time no see.
Andrew: It’s a big house.

Penny: You would not believe the day I just had.
Andrew: You smell like everywhere.

Penny: Yeah, I was what is that child’s problem.

Nathaniel: I don’t know what’s wrong but something’s wrong.

At least two of the kids are behaving normally.

Nathaniel: Something’s not right.
Andrea: I’M SO CONFUSED

Nathaniel: Kiss me?
Brooke: Why not, the world just stopped making sense anyway.

Penny: That was weird, huh? Everyone freaking out for no reason.
Andrew: That’s what everyones do in my experience.

Mallory: Maybe don’t kiss me behind your-
Angelica: Girlfriend’s
Mallory: -back?

Angelica: I wish I couldn’t see through my back.

Next time: nothing is clarified.

Like you expected anything different.

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