The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 295

Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!

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Yay! These people.

Ugh, this is what grows in your carpet when you don’t shampoo.

Rebecca: Is that a gang sign? I don’t belong to your gang.

Carolina: Your daughter just called my husband a gang member.
Deborah: Oh, she’s just going through a phase.
Carolina: It’s racist, though.
Deborah: Yeah, a racist phase.

Deborah: ‘sup my n-
Jerome: Doooooon’t finish that.

Don’t tell me, tell her!

Jerome: She knows.

Rebecca: Seriously, seriously, watch this.

Rebecca: It’s got stones in.

Shiloh: Tooth fairy here I come!

Carolina: Fuckin’ white people.

Rebecca: Zombie Queen, I sentence you to death!
Shiloh: No, no, please! Put me in jail!

Rebecca: She was married to the governor you know.
Shiloh: Yeah, and he shot her.
Rebecca: Yeah, he’s so dreamy.

Shiloh: I wanna grow up to be a zombie queen some day.

Shiloh: …what?

Shiloh: Hey, did you hear about stupid green dude?

Shiloh: He dead.

Shiloh: Carolina! Come be affectionate!
Rebecca: Oh my god, does that work?
Shiloh: Not on your mom, probably.

Shiloh: Your mom’s a bitch.

Rebecca: So yeah, come fill this gaping void in my life.

Neila: These look like poor people.

She must have noticed they don’t have a roof.

Andrea: Your MOM was a poor person.
Neila: And my mom was the ZOMBIE QUEEN. Your point?

Andrea: I wish my mom was a supervillain.

Rebecca: I love your nose!
Andrea: Thanks!
Rebecca: Give it to me.

Rebecca: Ooh, look, a kitty!

Neila: How dumb does she think I am? Does she think I’m ten or something?

How old are you?

Neila: Ten and a half!

Shiloh: You’re a good maid, Ms. Cavendish.

Carolina: Oh, wow. This shit is just too much.


Carolina: It’s like you designed this room for the concept of girlhood instead of an actual girl.

Neila: People like me. I’m pretty popular.
Rebecca: Is it your humility they’re attracted to?

Andrea: ♪ Breakin’ other people’s stuff ♪

Is this Mr. Grivver or Mrs. Flibble?

Shiloh: I’ll ask.

Jerome: I’m glad we’re getting comfortable with each other.
Carolina: I’m gonna need you to reupholster the couch now.

Jerome: Wow! Kids are boring.

I’ve noticed that when I put Sims in jail, or make them otherwise unlikely to be WALKING AROUND THE NEIGHBOURHOOD, the game prioritizes them for a walkby.

Deborah: And then it turned out the man he killed WAS his father, thus fulfilling the prophecy!
Shiloh: I feel like he could have avoided that by NEVER KILLING ANYBODY.

Deborah: Oh, sure, and I bet he could have avoided marrying his mother by NOT MARRYING ANYONE OLD ENOUGH TO BE HIS MOTHER!

I think maybe a social worker needs to investigate the Sharpes.

Neila: Nah, Andrea just starves herself so she can be as much of a burden on strangers as possible.

Deborah: I wasn’t sure if it was a kid or a freight train coming through!
Andrea: That’s some high-level agnosia you’ve got going on there, lady.


I like how people keep looking at Deborah and thinking “Who is that?”

Especially the people who live with her.

Personally whenever I get to her chapters it’s always like “Oh yeah Deborah was a thing.”


“Children’s ear canals are small and particularly susceptible to loud noises, and even brief exposure can induce permanent hearing loss… Loud noises can also be very frightening for infants.” [Source]

Jerome: Also really loud noises can blow out the sun.

Jerome: Which makes what I’m about to do seem kinda lame.

Have some sense of occasion, Carolina…

Oh god it’s a furry

Okay, Carolina, WHAT. In what way did the baby CHEAT ON YOU.

Shiloh: It can fend for itself now, right? We can leave it outside and ignore it?

Deborah: Alright, he’s bagged and ready, I’ll leave him on the curb for the garbagemen.

Carolina: It’s for the best. Stupid cheating baby.


Deborah: So haha stop with the pointless fury would you
Carolina: Haha that’s so funny no I won’t

Deborah: Nobody even remembers what you’re mad about.

Deborah: Nobody remembers Kendra either.

And I do feel bad about it.

Rebecca: ♪ Calling occupants of interplanetary craft ♪

There is a WHOLE FUCKING HOUSE you guys

I can’t see the thought bubbles for the trees!

Jerome: We should kick Deborah out of her house.


Deborah: I’ve been considered sexy.

Sure you have.

Jerome: You should have at least captioned that last pic, it feels like I didn’t get any sleep at all now.

That’s okay, you can sleepwalk through most of this shit anyway.

I like the subtle hints of objects that shouldn’t have been visible in the image.

Really keeps me humble.

Good, it’s important to establish that Brett’s bowels work properly.

A tender stepmother-stepdaughter moment.

Carolina: Alternatively you’re staring at my ass.

Yeah, that painted-on black blob is a real turn-on, I gotta say.

And then I angle the camera to get a shot of her crack, thus immediately proving her point.

Shiloh: Why do you always include stuff that makes you look bad?

You’ve heard of The Death of the Author? I’m trying to make The Suicide of the Author a thing.

Underwear dance!

Is awkward.

Jerome: Hahaha that’s so you.

Shiloh: Want me to punch it for you?

Shiloh: Because I’m not really keen on the current resource-sharing situation, to be honest.

Jerome: You should go to space.
Rebecca: I’m down here.
Jerome: Exactly!

Rebecca: Okay, that was kinda clever.

I thought so.

Next time: some people doing some stuff.

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