Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
Yay! These people.
Ugh, this is what grows in your carpet when you don’t shampoo.
Rebecca: Is that a gang sign? I don’t belong to your gang.
Carolina: Your daughter just called my husband a gang member.
Deborah: Oh, she’s just going through a phase.
Carolina: It’s racist, though.
Deborah: Yeah, a racist phase.
Deborah: ‘sup my n-
Jerome: Doooooon’t finish that.
Don’t tell me, tell her!
Jerome: She knows.
Rebecca: Seriously, seriously, watch this.
Rebecca: It’s got stones in.
Shiloh: Tooth fairy here I come!
Carolina: Fuckin’ white people.
Rebecca: Zombie Queen, I sentence you to death!
Shiloh: No, no, please! Put me in jail!
Rebecca: JAIL IS FOR REAL PEOPLE
Rebecca: She was married to the governor you know.
Shiloh: Yeah, and he shot her.
Rebecca: Yeah, he’s so dreamy.
Shiloh: I wanna grow up to be a zombie queen some day.
Shiloh: Hey, did you hear about stupid green dude?
Shiloh: He dead.
Shiloh: Carolina! Come be affectionate!
Rebecca: Oh my god, does that work?
Shiloh: Not on your mom, probably.
Shiloh: Your mom’s a bitch.
Rebecca: So yeah, come fill this gaping void in my life.
Neila: These look like poor people.
She must have noticed they don’t have a roof.
Andrea: Your MOM was a poor person.
Neila: And my mom was the ZOMBIE QUEEN. Your point?
Andrea: I wish my mom was a supervillain.
Rebecca: I love your nose!
Rebecca: Give it to me.
Rebecca: Ooh, look, a kitty!
Neila: How dumb does she think I am? Does she think I’m ten or something?
How old are you?
Neila: Ten and a half!
Shiloh: You’re a good maid, Ms. Cavendish.
Carolina: Oh, wow. This shit is just too much.
Carolina: It’s like you designed this room for the concept of girlhood instead of an actual girl.
Neila: People like me. I’m pretty popular.
Rebecca: Is it your humility they’re attracted to?
Andrea: ♪ Breakin’ other people’s stuff ♪
Is this Mr. Grivver or Mrs. Flibble?
Shiloh: I’ll ask.
Jerome: I’m glad we’re getting comfortable with each other.
Carolina: I’m gonna need you to reupholster the couch now.
Jerome: Wow! Kids are boring.
I’ve noticed that when I put Sims in jail, or make them otherwise unlikely to be WALKING AROUND THE NEIGHBOURHOOD, the game prioritizes them for a walkby.
Deborah: And then it turned out the man he killed WAS his father, thus fulfilling the prophecy!
Shiloh: I feel like he could have avoided that by NEVER KILLING ANYBODY.
Deborah: Oh, sure, and I bet he could have avoided marrying his mother by NOT MARRYING ANYONE OLD ENOUGH TO BE HIS MOTHER!
I think maybe a social worker needs to investigate the Sharpes.
Neila: Nah, Andrea just starves herself so she can be as much of a burden on strangers as possible.
Deborah: I wasn’t sure if it was a kid or a freight train coming through!
Andrea: That’s some high-level agnosia you’ve got going on there, lady.
Neila: I HAVE NO SHAME
I like how people keep looking at Deborah and thinking “Who is that?”
Especially the people who live with her.
Personally whenever I get to her chapters it’s always like “Oh yeah Deborah was a thing.”
“Children’s ear canals are small and particularly susceptible to loud noises, and even brief exposure can induce permanent hearing loss… Loud noises can also be very frightening for infants.” [Source]
Jerome: Also really loud noises can blow out the sun.
Jerome: Which makes what I’m about to do seem kinda lame.
Have some sense of occasion, Carolina…
Oh god it’s a furry
Okay, Carolina, WHAT. In what way did the baby CHEAT ON YOU.
Shiloh: It can fend for itself now, right? We can leave it outside and ignore it?
Deborah: Alright, he’s bagged and ready, I’ll leave him on the curb for the garbagemen.
Carolina: It’s for the best. Stupid cheating baby.
Carolina: DAMMIT DEBORAH HE’S BACK
Deborah: So haha stop with the pointless fury would you
Carolina: Haha that’s so funny no I won’t
Deborah: Nobody even remembers what you’re mad about.
Deborah: Nobody remembers Kendra either.
And I do feel bad about it.
Rebecca: ♪ Calling occupants of interplanetary craft ♪
There is a WHOLE FUCKING HOUSE you guys
I can’t see the thought bubbles for the trees!
Jerome: We should kick Deborah out of her house.
Carolina: FUCK ME YOU SEXY SQUATTER YOU
Deborah: I’ve been considered sexy.
Sure you have.
Jerome: You should have at least captioned that last pic, it feels like I didn’t get any sleep at all now.
That’s okay, you can sleepwalk through most of this shit anyway.
I like the subtle hints of objects that shouldn’t have been visible in the image.
Really keeps me humble.
Good, it’s important to establish that Brett’s bowels work properly.
A tender stepmother-stepdaughter moment.
Carolina: Alternatively you’re staring at my ass.
Yeah, that painted-on black blob is a real turn-on, I gotta say.
And then I angle the camera to get a shot of her crack, thus immediately proving her point.
Shiloh: Why do you always include stuff that makes you look bad?
You’ve heard of The Death of the Author? I’m trying to make The Suicide of the Author a thing.
Deborah: GET OUT I’M PEEING
Jerome: Hahaha that’s so you.
Shiloh: Want me to punch it for you?
Shiloh: Because I’m not really keen on the current resource-sharing situation, to be honest.
Jerome: You should go to space.
Rebecca: I’m down here.
Rebecca: Okay, that was kinda clever.
I thought so.
Next time: some people doing some stuff.