Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
The Grugly abides!
But for how long?
They’re definitely not young.
Brooke: How much longer are you gonna make Young jokes?
Until they’re old.
Kyle: Have fun with science!
Sunny: I’m a chef.
Oliver: This is the future that liberals want.
What volume you on now?
Abigail: “The Fitness of Fitness.”
You know, I think the only hobby this wouldn’t work for is Arts and Crafts.
Abigail: “The Arts and Crafts of Arts and Crafts.” Yeah.
Even better: “The Arts of Arts and Crafts and the Crafts of Arts and Crafts.”
Abigail: Good lord.
Grugly Prime: You rang?
Abigail: Sometimes I imagine what it must be like to be less intelligent than I am.
How does it feel?
Abigail: You should already know.
Hahaha, yeah, SPLAT! Dead. That was pretty awesome.
Oliver: Hey man! You’re a Neat Sim, right?
Kyle: -sigh- Yes…
Oliver: I’mma call my baby.
Oliver: Want to come freak out your grandma?
Nathaniel: This is the future that I want!
All my really good pics have captions about how really good they are.
This is one of them.
Angelica: Is it okay to park on the road like this?
Yeah, everyone will just teleport around you.
Most people in the real world seem to assume this also.
FRIDAY: Hey Angelica!
Angelica: Hey Speak n’ Spell.
Don’t you fucking look at me like that!
This was your fucking idea!
You were complaining about TICKLING?!
Oliver: I keep thinking I’ll poke too hard and her guts will fall out like that old movie with the Pillsbury Dough Boy WHAT THE FUCK DON’T LINK THAT IT’S DISGUSTING!
Oliver: Wanna hear some juicy gossip about the Zombie Queen?
Angelica: I don’t want to hear “juicy” and “zombie” in the same story, no.
Oliver: And yet you’re taking pictures.
I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES
This would be a pretty picture if it didn’t depict an affront to Maker and Sim.
Is this a suffocation contest or something?
Best facial expression.
Tell me I’m wrong.
Oliver: Who knew proximity could be so erotic?
Oliver: Oh god, there she goes again.
And that’s how they both died.
Angelica: Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight!
Oliver: It must have been some kind of kiss.
You should have walked away.
Angelica: Yeah, no.
Sullivan: Hey No-Soul, hey Beluga!
Sullivan: Hey gene-pool waders.
Oliver: Sullivan saw us.
Angelica: Nobody listens to Sullivan anymore. It’s a defense mechanism.
Oliver: Do you like me apart from the fact that I used to be related to you?
Angelica: That timeless question.
Oliver: …I’m asking if you’re a pervert.
Angelica: Definitely a second date-level question.
Angelica: No, I’m not attracted to uncles. God, I’ve got enough of them to know how unattractive they can be.
Amin: Wait, aren’t they…?
Sullivan: Irrelevant? Yes, I’ve always thought so.
Leaving without a goodnight kiss?
Oliver: Her arms clipped through my back and you refused to use the pic.
Right, right. Standards.
You should get some too.
Renée: Hurry up, I’m due another cruel and unusual death any minute now!
It’s about time you went home, it’s blurry o’clock!
Oh, good. I thought for a moment that Oliver turned into Brooke.
Oliver: Don’t pretend you wouldn’t like it.
Oliver: Even I like her better than me.
Oliver: BITCH ATE MY NOSE
Oliver: That’s so hot.
Nathaniel: Did you forget that I’m here?
To be honest, I forgot you entirely.
Oliver: Hey! Cut it out! She’ll snap like a twig!
I’m still not sure if I like the lack of a double standard when it comes to ass-kicking in TS2.
Something about whacking women really doesn’t impress me.
Oliver: Do I look like a pervert to you?
Oliver: Great, thanks.
Brooke: I’ve only been playable for a few days. I haven’t formed that many prejudices yet. Give me a week or so.
Oliver: I will.
Doiby O’Pickles: OFF MLAWN SCALLYWAG
And then he sold the gnome into slavery.
Why are you exercising with your huge boots on?
Abigail: For the same reason you don’t smile in a passport photo.
Brooke: I keep forgetting you’re gay!
Kyle: Sometimes I do too!
Kyle: Bisexual! I’m BISEXUAL! Please don’t cry!
Kyle: Oh, you’re singing! You’re bad at it so they sound the same.
Kyle: I’m glad we have a relationship where I can mock you and you don’t take offense.
Sunny: I’m glad you think there won’t be consequences later.
Sunny: I am also glad that it rained.
Oliver: Is this annoying you yet?
Brooke: Is this some kind of experiment?
Stephen: Finger pistol, cool pose.
He’s a pinball wizard!
Stephen: Got such a supple wrist.
I’ll just bet you do.
I haven’t seen that desk since… this.
I’m sure you care.
Kyle: Cares are hard to come by ’round here.
I can see that.
Doiby: MAY TH’ LAMB O’ GOD STIR HIS HOOF THROUGH TH’ ROOF O’ HEAVEN AN’ KICK YE IN TH’ ARSE DOWN T’HELL!
Nathaniel: I won’t hold my breath.
Maybe you ought to.
Abigail: Did the noise wake you up?
Brooke: No, the stench did.
Brooke: You should install a self-cleaning mechanism in that suit.
Abigail: You should mind your own business.
Yes, I’m sure that will completely solve the problem.
Abigail: I’m a scientist. I solve the problems I want to solve.
Next time: more teenage shenanigans.
Normal teenage shenanigans.