The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 276

Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!

Click Here for Previous Entries!

The Grugly abides!

But for how long?


They’re definitely not young.

Brooke: How much longer are you gonna make Young jokes?

Until they’re old.

Kyle: Have fun with science!
Sunny: I’m a chef.
Kyle: Exactly!

Oliver: This is the future that liberals want.

Yep.

What volume you on now?

Abigail: “The Fitness of Fitness.”

You know, I think the only hobby this wouldn’t work for is Arts and Crafts.

Abigail: “The Arts and Crafts of Arts and Crafts.” Yeah.

Even better: “The Arts of Arts and Crafts and the Crafts of Arts and Crafts.”

Abigail: Good lord.

Grugly Prime: You rang?

Abigail: Sometimes I imagine what it must be like to be less intelligent than I am.

How does it feel?

Abigail: You should already know.

Hahaha, yeah, SPLAT! Dead. That was pretty awesome.

Oliver: Hey man! You’re a Neat Sim, right?

Kyle: -sigh- Yes…

Oliver: I’mma call my baby.

Oliver: Want to come freak out your grandma?

Nathaniel: This is the future that I want!

All my really good pics have captions about how really good they are.

This is one of them.

Angelica: Is it okay to park on the road like this?

Yeah, everyone will just teleport around you.

Most people in the real world seem to assume this also.

FRIDAY: Hey Angelica!
Angelica: Hey Speak n’ Spell.

Don’t you fucking look at me like that!

This was your fucking idea!

You were complaining about TICKLING?!

Oliver: I keep thinking I’ll poke too hard and her guts will fall out like that old movie with the Pillsbury Dough Boy WHAT THE FUCK DON’T LINK THAT IT’S DISGUSTING!

Oliver: “20.”
Angelica: Right?

Oliver: Wanna hear some juicy gossip about the Zombie Queen?
Angelica: I don’t want to hear “juicy” and “zombie” in the same story, no.

Oliver: Point.

Ugh.

Oliver: And yet you’re taking pictures.

I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES

This would be a pretty picture if it didn’t depict an affront to Maker and Sim.

Is this a suffocation contest or something?

Best facial expression.

Tell me I’m wrong.

Oliver: Who knew proximity could be so erotic?

Oliver: Oh god, there she goes again.

And that’s how they both died.

Angelica: Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight!
Oliver: It must have been some kind of kiss.

You should have walked away.

Angelica: Yeah, no.

Sullivan: Hey No-Soul, hey Beluga!

Sullivan: Hey gene-pool waders.

Oliver: Sullivan saw us.
Angelica: Nobody listens to Sullivan anymore. It’s a defense mechanism.

Oliver: Do you like me apart from the fact that I used to be related to you?
Angelica: That timeless question.

Oliver: …I’m asking if you’re a pervert.
Angelica: Definitely a second date-level question.

Angelica: No, I’m not attracted to uncles. God, I’ve got enough of them to know how unattractive they can be.

Stewart.

Oliver: Leonard.

Angelica: Kyle!

Amin: Wait, aren’t they…?
Sullivan: Irrelevant? Yes, I’ve always thought so.

Leaving without a goodnight kiss?

Oliver: Her arms clipped through my back and you refused to use the pic.

Right, right. Standards.

You should get some too.

RenĂ©e: Hurry up, I’m due another cruel and unusual death any minute now!

It’s about time you went home, it’s blurry o’clock!

Oh, good. I thought for a moment that Oliver turned into Brooke.

Oliver: Don’t pretend you wouldn’t like it.

Oliver: Even I like her better than me.

Oliver: BITCH ATE MY NOSE

Oliver: That’s so hot.

Nathaniel: Did you forget that I’m here?

To be honest, I forgot you entirely.

Oliver: Hey! Cut it out! She’ll snap like a twig!

I’m still not sure if I like the lack of a double standard when it comes to ass-kicking in TS2.

Something about whacking women really doesn’t impress me.

Brooke: Seconded.

Oliver: Do I look like a pervert to you?

Oliver: Great, thanks.

Brooke: I’ve only been playable for a few days. I haven’t formed that many prejudices yet. Give me a week or so.

Oliver: I will.

Doiby O’Pickles: OFF MLAWN SCALLYWAG

And then he sold the gnome into slavery.

Why are you exercising with your huge boots on?

Abigail: For the same reason you don’t smile in a passport photo.

Brooke: I keep forgetting you’re gay!
Kyle: Sometimes I do too!

Kyle: Bisexual! I’m BISEXUAL! Please don’t cry!

Kyle: Oh, you’re singing! You’re bad at it so they sound the same.

Kyle: I’m glad we have a relationship where I can mock you and you don’t take offense.
Sunny: I’m glad you think there won’t be consequences later.

Sunny: I am also glad that it rained.

Oliver: Is this annoying you yet?
Brooke: Is this some kind of experiment?

Stephen: Finger pistol, cool pose.

Stephen: Baghumpin’!

He’s a pinball wizard!

Stephen: Got such a supple wrist.

I’ll just bet you do.

I haven’t seen that desk since… this.

I’m sure you care.

Kyle: Cares are hard to come by ’round here.

I can see that.

Doiby: MAY TH’ LAMB O’ GOD STIR HIS HOOF THROUGH TH’ ROOF O’ HEAVEN AN’ KICK YE IN TH’ ARSE DOWN T’HELL!

Nathaniel: I won’t hold my breath.

Maybe you ought to.

Abigail: Did the noise wake you up?
Brooke: No, the stench did.

Brooke: You should install a self-cleaning mechanism in that suit.
Abigail: You should mind your own business.

Yes, I’m sure that will completely solve the problem.

Abigail: I’m a scientist. I solve the problems I want to solve.

Next time: more teenage shenanigans.

Normal teenage shenanigans.

Comparatively.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.