The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 272

Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!

Click Here for Previous Entries!

Two in a row! Go for one more?

Wait, that’s not right.

…Connect Four!


Deborah: I’ve decided that everything ever is Carolina’s fault.

North or South?

Rebecca: We are not having a “girls moment,” mom.

Carolina: …and then he accidentally left the Photoshop sharpen filter on, and now LOOK at me! JPEG artifacts up the WAZOO!

Kyle: Eugh. Smells like Private School.

Kyle: DING DONG

Carolina: That’s cheating.

Carolina: …oh. Hi.
Kyle: Hi Mrs. Newcastle!
Carolina: Got… your homework done yet?
Kyle: Yep, this is pretty awkward.

Carolina: How dare you bring one of my students mmmmmmmmm HOW DARE YOU KISS ME WHEN MY HUSBAND’S HOME

Kyle: And then she threw me into the road! BAM!

Kyle: OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING

Kyle: We really blew it.

-SCENE MISSING-

Shiloh: The fuck?

I dunno, that pic was just… in there.

Shiloh: …she scares me a little.

SHE SCARES ME A LOT

Rebecca: Blah blah rando says what?

Carolina: I’M MAD THAT I’M CHEATING

Kyle: Rando gonna THROW YOU INTO THE ROAD

Kyle: why does this keep happening

Ain’t nobody care.

I stand corrected.

Jerome: I stand hunched! But also touched.

Jerome: There’s the only woman for me!
Carolina: Yeah! Welcome home… um… definitely the only man in my life.

Shiloh: Smooth, woman. Like a dove on an updraft.
Carolina: Shut up.
Kyle: -hot for teacher-

Kyle: Not big on kids in their underwear, though.

Well thank goodness.

Run! The Siamese Aliens are attacking!

I didn’t know you could study not-committing-adultery.

Carolina: In this setting? There are entire college courses.

Brett: .oO(What the FUCK, woman!)

Jerome: My head hurts. I think the baby’s sending hate waves your way.

Yeah, well, fuck him then.

Jerome: I could do without the cheering section.

Jerome: Whatcha thinkin’ ’bout?
Carolina: NOTHING

Bullshit.

Nobody talks about Stewart.

Bullshit.

Kids don’t clean.

Jerome: I told them it was a form of Quidditch.

Just to be clear, you’re expecting to be paid for this?

Jerome: Go die in an alley, tramp.

Jerome: By which I meant “hobo,” not “slut.”
Deborah: Yeah, cool, I’m… trying to take a dump here.

Stephen is also dumping.

Neat.

Carolina: This better be worth breaking my ankles for.

Carolina: Nice zeds there, Deb! Good font choice.

Carolina: Aaaaaand I’m going insane oh. It’s just a mirror.

Carolina: I SEE A MONSTER

Pfft. There’s no such thing as monsters.

Ursus the Coral Defiler: That’s right.

Rebecca: What’s missing from this image?

Nothing.

How much wood would a Woodrow row if a Woodrow could row wood?

Alvin: Now it’s up to us to say something stupider.
Iris: I have faith in you.

Uh-oh, you’ve got a hanger-on.

Kelsey: Look. Nick. There’s plenty of other fish in the sea.
Nick: You’re a fish? Ew. Gross?

Nick: Wots the deal m’birdie, wot wot?

Nick: I SENTENCE YOU TO DIE
Kelsey: THAT NEVER HAPPENS TO WHITE PEOPLE

Nick: THE ARM OF THE LAW IS LONG! AND WOODEN! AND A MALLET!

Nick: That got screwed up pretty quickly.

Speaking of screwing things up pretty quickly!

Iris: Which one is this?

I dunno, make up a name.

Iris: I’ll wish to remember it.

Yay! Either Elvis or Irvin.

I’m sure I’ll remember which by the time he has to die.

Ivy: You’re right, your snobby face is way bitchier.

Iris: Mommy!
?Irvin?: .oO(FOR THE LAST TIME I AIN’T YOUR DAMN MOMMY!)

Stephen: Another daring plan foiled by my inability to interact with physical objects.

Alvin, the Night Stalker!

…I just thought of a great supervillain idea.

You’ll see it in about twenty years.

Iris: Mommy!
Irvin: DAMMIT IRIS

Alvin: Daddy!
Irvin: I JUST WENT THROUGH THIS

Irvin: UGH. FINE. “DADDY.”
Alvin: His first word!

Irvin: Please tell me you’re just my babysitters.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH STOP IT STOP IT

Man, party time at the Woodrow house!

Iris: WHAT.

Alvin: We’re just admiring you.
Ivy: What? No, I was just thinking about how fat she’s gotten.

Ivy: Mmm, smell them milksparkles!

Ivy: Man, who let him near fire.

Iris: This way nobody will doubt me when I say he died of self-immolation!

Next time: kissin’ cousins.

Only without Elvis.

Or Irvin.

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