Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
Two in a row! Go for one more?
Wait, that’s not right.
Deborah: I’ve decided that everything ever is Carolina’s fault.
North or South?
Rebecca: We are not having a “girls moment,” mom.
Carolina: …and then he accidentally left the Photoshop sharpen filter on, and now LOOK at me! JPEG artifacts up the WAZOO!
Kyle: Eugh. Smells like Private School.
Kyle: DING DONG
Carolina: That’s cheating.
Carolina: …oh. Hi.
Kyle: Hi Mrs. Newcastle!
Carolina: Got… your homework done yet?
Kyle: Yep, this is pretty awkward.
Carolina: How dare you bring one of my students mmmmmmmmm HOW DARE YOU KISS ME WHEN MY HUSBAND’S HOME
Kyle: And then she threw me into the road! BAM!
Kyle: OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING
Kyle: We really blew it.
Shiloh: The fuck?
I dunno, that pic was just… in there.
Shiloh: …she scares me a little.
SHE SCARES ME A LOT
Rebecca: Blah blah rando says what?
Carolina: I’M MAD THAT I’M CHEATING
Kyle: Rando gonna THROW YOU INTO THE ROAD
Kyle: why does this keep happening
Ain’t nobody care.
I stand corrected.
Jerome: I stand hunched! But also touched.
Jerome: There’s the only woman for me!
Carolina: Yeah! Welcome home… um… definitely the only man in my life.
Shiloh: Smooth, woman. Like a dove on an updraft.
Carolina: Shut up.
Kyle: -hot for teacher-
Kyle: Not big on kids in their underwear, though.
Well thank goodness.
Run! The Siamese Aliens are attacking!
I didn’t know you could study not-committing-adultery.
Carolina: In this setting? There are entire college courses.
Brett: .oO(What the FUCK, woman!)
Jerome: My head hurts. I think the baby’s sending hate waves your way.
Yeah, well, fuck him then.
Jerome: I could do without the cheering section.
Jerome: Whatcha thinkin’ ’bout?
Nobody talks about Stewart.
Kids don’t clean.
Jerome: I told them it was a form of Quidditch.
Just to be clear, you’re expecting to be paid for this?
Jerome: Go die in an alley, tramp.
Jerome: By which I meant “hobo,” not “slut.”
Deborah: Yeah, cool, I’m… trying to take a dump here.
Stephen is also dumping.
Carolina: This better be worth breaking my ankles for.
Carolina: Nice zeds there, Deb! Good font choice.
Carolina: Aaaaaand I’m going insane oh. It’s just a mirror.
Carolina: I SEE A MONSTER
Pfft. There’s no such thing as monsters.
Ursus the Coral Defiler: That’s right.
Rebecca: What’s missing from this image?
How much wood would a Woodrow row if a Woodrow could row wood?
Alvin: Now it’s up to us to say something stupider.
Iris: I have faith in you.
Uh-oh, you’ve got a hanger-on.
Kelsey: Look. Nick. There’s plenty of other fish in the sea.
Nick: You’re a fish? Ew. Gross?
Nick: Wots the deal m’birdie, wot wot?
Nick: I SENTENCE YOU TO DIE
Kelsey: THAT NEVER HAPPENS TO WHITE PEOPLE
Nick: THE ARM OF THE LAW IS LONG! AND WOODEN! AND A MALLET!
Nick: That got screwed up pretty quickly.
Speaking of screwing things up pretty quickly!
Iris: Which one is this?
I dunno, make up a name.
Iris: I’ll wish to remember it.
Yay! Either Elvis or Irvin.
I’m sure I’ll remember which by the time he has to die.
Ivy: You’re right, your snobby face is way bitchier.
?Irvin?: .oO(FOR THE LAST TIME I AIN’T YOUR DAMN MOMMY!)
Stephen: Another daring plan foiled by my inability to interact with physical objects.
Alvin, the Night Stalker!
…I just thought of a great supervillain idea.
You’ll see it in about twenty years.
Irvin: DAMMIT IRIS
Irvin: I JUST WENT THROUGH THIS
Irvin: UGH. FINE. “DADDY.”
Alvin: His first word!
Irvin: Please tell me you’re just my babysitters.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH STOP IT STOP IT
Man, party time at the Woodrow house!
Alvin: We’re just admiring you.
Ivy: What? No, I was just thinking about how fat she’s gotten.
Ivy: Mmm, smell them milksparkles!
Ivy: Man, who let him near fire.
Iris: This way nobody will doubt me when I say he died of self-immolation!
Next time: kissin’ cousins.
Only without Elvis.