The Sharpesvale Chronicles, Chapter 271

Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!

Click Here for Previous Entries!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the Sims…


wit babbies

Margaret: Please don’t be a weirdo.

Margaret: CHEERLEADERS ARE WEIRDOS

Chelsea: I think you have that backwards?

Is that…?

Chelsea: A picture of me on this couch I’m about to sit on?

Weirdos EVERYWHERE

Margaret: And some of them shit themselves.

Stephen: There’s a fine line between artists and babies.

Chelsea: Why is this day going so fast?
Stephen: Because I was at work!

Because I’m cutting half the pics!

Stephen: I’d let her cut my pics!

Chelsea: Try it and I cut her.

Margaret: I thought I saw you kissing Chelsea outside.
Stephen: I like a girl with imagination.

Accordingly, I left the sex scene up to your imagination.

I left the sleep scene in unaltered.

Hahaha, sleep? What is that even?!

Stephen: Man, kids start being a real drag after your dozenth.

Stephen: But they’re so fun to make!

Margaret: This barely-playable paid me to bubble advertise her.
Stephen: I love the information economy!

Stephen: We’re pretty awesome.

I just thought this was a pretty pic.

Of a man cleaning a toilet.

IT’S POSSIBLE

witout babbies

so far

Yay! Now with 50% more not-Stewart!

Asia: I didn’t order a party stripper!

Rosemarie: Then who’s that.

Stewart: Hey Len, get me some water?
Leonard: NOPE NOT ACKNOWLEDGING YOU

Leonard: OH GOD I saw him for a second.

Stewart: Come on bro, you know you love me.
Leonard: OH GOD I ALMOST PERSPECTIVE-TOUCHED IT

Asia: OH NO YOU’RE SEXY
Stewart: Sexay!

Asia: Makeouts!
Stewart: Good point, well made.

I know, I know. This is… this is just that era of the story, okay?

At least it backs on nicely to the “everyone dies” era.

Coming soon!

Ish.

Ah, the Anti-Jealousy Potion. The only way more than two people can congregate safely in Sharpesvale.

And sometimes not even.

Leonard: Gonna marry that pavement.

Aww, that’s a cute outfit!

Sleaze it up a little.

…pregnancy bump?

Rosemarie: Soda burp.

Oh! You got fat.

Stop exercising, I like it.

See? Way less interesting.

Rosemarie: Stop reverse-body shaming.

Clearly glad to be alive again, Asia allows her standards to drop.

Rosemarie: HA HA HA YOU, HOT?!?!
Leonard: Lovin’ the support, hon.

Leonard: We should do something nice for Stewart and Asia so they don’t come to their senses and kick us out.

Rosemarie: Let’s try loud screaming sex.

Leonard: Makes sense to my lizard brain!

Leonard: Lizard brain makes the best decisions.

Cool.

Work, sex. Work, sex. What a stagnant cycle.

Stewart: I’d be willing to skip the work, if that would help…

Stewart: We should do something to make slutty and doofus feel welcome.

Asia: Loud sex?
Stewart: In cold blood!

We’re certain you’re not related, right?

One of these things is not like the others!

Rosemarie: Appreciate it!

Stewart: Doesn’t Asia look pretty?
Rosemarie: Asia is frigid and rocky.
Stewart: Shit, have you slept with her?!

Tylopoda: DO THE REFRIGERATOR PRANK

Asia: What’s the point of eating if I’m gonna barf it back up?

Cory: Or is it Corey?

Not looking it up.

Abigail: Well! If it isn’t my favourite neighbour! Which is ISN’T.

Yes, the first thing a broke multi-mom needs to consider is adopting more babies.

Margaret: I’m not considering THAT side of adoption.

Ohhhh…

Please go for it.

Leonard: Check it out, I make this chick’s heart go a-twitter!
Rosemarie: Sorry, no. Lots of soda lately.

I thought we cleared this shit up in, like… Chapter Three.

Abigail: ANNIVERSARY SURPRISE

Stephen: I didn’t know my cheeks had muscle memory!

Margaret: I did not call you a ho! I just said that was a ho dress.

The traditional dipshit wedding huddle.

Asia: So you’re a secret agent! That’s fascinating.
Corey: ARE YOU A SECRET AGENT TOO

Margaret: BABIES!

BABIES!

BABIES BABIES BABIES!

Are boring.

Right?

Stewart: I always wear glasses since I walked into that Theresa chick and spiked both my eyeballs.

Margaret: Banana peel?

Andrew: Invisible newspaper?
Ember: So I can spot interlopers.

Stephen: Fun fact: I am cheating on half the neighbourhood right now.

I like that “hands in pockets” look, Asia. Very formal.

Margaret: THIS IS SO ROMANTIC!
Elle: And LUCRATIVE! I’m still on the clock.

Stewart: Banalities!
Asia: Appreciation!

Rosemarie: Exaggerations!
Leonard: Hook, line and sinker!

I know pronounce you man and wife and man and wife.

Andrzej: In old country new wives must fellate entire wedding party!

Ring ring ring ring

RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING

Banana phone?

Corey: I like it when the narrator gives up.

Stewart: Where’s your Aspiration Points?
Asia: I’m an introvert.

Andrew: OKAY WE’RE DONE HERE
Ember: I KNOW RIGHT

Hey, you said you were still on the clock.

Rosemarie: Wow, you’re hot! I’d give you one-and-a-half husbands.

And now for the ceremonial Breaking of the Glasses.

Andrzej: In old country…
Ember: YOUR ENTIRE COUNTRY IS ONE GIANT ARGUMENT FOR FEMINISM.

Most countries are.

Next time: kids become characters.

It had to happen eventually.

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