Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
POSTING POSTING POSTING
KEEP THOSE ENTRIES POSTING
It’s good to take pride in your work.
Regretting what you do?
Stephen: Haven’t slept in two days. Too many naked chicks.
You can never have-
Stephen: TOO MANY NAKED CHICKS
Roger: IT WASN’T ME
Margaret: What’s all this about a bomb?!
Rosemarie: I don’t know what you’re implying, but I showered before I came over.
Stephen: DAMN but it’s good to be me.
You probably can’t quite make it out, but Deborah’s got the right idea: a pile of garbage.
Stephen: JESUS CHRIST I BANG A LOT OF WOMEN
Abigail: Enjoying your last few years of life?
Abigail: You heard me.
Stephen: Want to go do a sexy thing?
Stephen: Really? Always?! Awesome.
Rosemarie: SO awesome.
Carolina: I disapprove of what you’re doing.
Stephen: Well I disapprove of visible lot edges, but not everything people disapprove of disappears.
Stephen: I think you ought to give me a chance. You might like me!
Carolina: That sounds like a terrible fate.
Carolina: I can tell you’re only doing that to look at my chest, Stephen.
Carolina: I mean, go ahead, but don’t pretend you’re not doing it.
I thought you disapproved of him.
Carolina: It’s a lot easier to do that from a distance.
Stephen: Shall we be on our carnal way?
Carolina: CRITICAL ERROR
Oh for crying out loud
Cool, at least someone accomplished something today.
Stephen: Thanks for picking up my trash!
Carolina: Happy to help, neighbour!
Stephen: You just earned yourself a complimentary photoshoot!
Carolina: Oh boy! I bet that’s something I want!
Stephen: I think you’ll like it.
Okay, that’s enough ego stroking for one update.
Stephen: Hi Brooke! Hi Brooke’s scary green dot!
Stephen: Oh, the game thinks you’re a real employee! Get out of here before I have to give you money.
Brooke: What a good boss you are.
Stephen: Come cheat my wives with me.
Valerie: How often does a girl get that offer?!
Valerie: Actually, answer that. How often? I’m curious.
Stephen: You’re the first person I’ve interacted with sexually since arriving here today.
Valerie: Gosh! That’s suspiciously specific.
Valerie: But for the purpose of advancing the narrative, I’m in.
Jessie: I just want you all to know that I’m watching you. Always.
Stephen: Dude! You can’t spy on my photo sessions! That’s what the inevitable gallery exhibit is for! I hate people who try to cheat the system.
Brooke: Are we nearly done with this?
Stephen: Ask the Maker’s OCD.
We can’t, I medicated it away.
Stephen: Maybe you should stay naked all the time, just in case.
This is a studio.
Not a zoo.
The magic of walls-down!
I’m beginning to really hate Stephen.
Stephen: You have a GREAT rack.
Valerie: I’m offended!
Stephen: …photographically speaking, of course.
Valerie: Oh! Well that’s okay then, thank you.
Valerie: Ew! She’s naked!
Valerie: The girl in the next image! I mean, this image!
Stephen: This joke progresses awkwardly!
Valerie: Man, that is a great rack.
If you think the bend in her legs looks bad, you should see how bad it is past the frame.
Luckily that non-Euclidean horror is omitted from the final product.
Valerie: How about some performance art?
Stephen: I’ll charge you a reduced rate.
Valerie: Has anyone ever told you that you look like William’s evil twin?
Stephen: No, and since we only reuse dialogue for running jokes, I’m hoping no-one ever will again.
Xavier: EVERYBODY! QUICK! THE CAMERA’S HERE!
Wren: I thought we’d never see it again.
Xavier: We need to think of something cool to do so it stays!
Wren: We could do something cool, if you were cooler…
Wren: Look! I can make a piece of metal protrude from my forehead!
Xavier: Pretty neat!
How come nobody’s screamed about how the gate is naked lately?
Did we exorcise it?
Xavier: Rebecca’s dad liked poop.
Wren: I think I’m gonna throw up.
Xavier: Bang! Bang! I’m a cop!
Wren: I disapprove of the modern police state.
Wren: …which is exactly what a robber would say!
Okay, seriously though… it’s a bit too on-the-nose how the robbers always die in TS2.
Ember: Shit. I think they see me.
Wren: Mommy, when’s daddy coming home?
Ember: He’s been home like three times. The real question is, when’s daddy gonna take a fucking break?
Wren: Okay mommy! “When’s daddy gonna take a fucking break?”
When he runs out of naked women.
Ember: Welp. Thanks for stopping by.
Xavier: What a healthy child-rearing environment.
Stephen: Why am I in the car?
The game thought you needed to go to “work.”
Stephen: But I’m an artist. I was working in the studio.
Well hey, just wait until The Sims 3! I bet it’ll have real-time simulated workplaces!
HA HA HA.
Wren: Mommy told me to tell you something but I won’t ‘cuz it’s mean.
Stephen: Daddy’s little blow softener!
That sounds wrong.
Not, like, call-the-police wrong, but at least let’s-rephrase-that wrong.
Brooke: Hi! I’m the police.
Stephen: FUCK the police.
Brooke: Okay bye!
Stephen: Who is this? I need a frame of reference to bring up the specific cheating memory you’re talking about.
Stephen: My wife? That doesn’t help.
Stephen: Just a second, I think I’m trippin’ balls.
Stephen: Hahaha no, I don’t remember cheating on a pregnant woman. That sounds bad even for me.
Stephen: Shit, ABIGAIL? Oh, right! Right. That happened. Why do you bring it up? What do you mean JUST ‘CUZ.
Stephen: Okay, well, remember that time aliens probed your anus? Sink your “just ‘cuz” into that. I have to go greet a visitor.
Stephen: They’re letting them out of the house earlier and earlier these days…
Stephen: Anybody up for a game of football?
Next time: yep. More Stephen.
By popular demand!