Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
It’s like Miller Time only instead of suggesting you start to drink now, it’s signifying that you’d better be drunk already.
Looks more like a throng than a family.
Anthony: The only thing I like about you is how regular your shit is.
Nathaniel: This is how all the cool kids are walking!
Angelica: Who broke your arm?
Nathaniel: A girl I tried to kiss.
Oliver: Well hello there!
That is your niece.
Angelica: Oh wow, Uncle Oliver!
Oliver: Please just call me Oliver. Otherwise it’ll get weird.
Angelica: Yeah, ‘cuz being the same age as your uncle isn’t already weird.
Amin: Want some?
Andrew: No way. I’ve heard you on the toilet, it’s like a running river.
They’re on an OUTING, not a DATE.
Get your minds out of the gutter until I specifically tell you to put them INTO it.
Angelica: Smells like pregnant.
Oh, you don’t find the gay kid attractive? Well that’s a shame.
Brady: At this point I’ll take what I can get.
Oliver: Stewart bought one of those MP3 players once and he hasn’t heard a word anybody’s said since.
Angelica: That sounds like a deal. Do the GBAs work the same way?
Angelica: I’ll just buy everything.
Millennials with keyboard phones?
This error is practically a main character now.
Nathaniel: I don’t know either.
Establishing return shot!
Why do you keep making food?
Amin: Because eighty-seven people live here.
Oliver: Ducks?! Where?!
Despite appearances, if you add his age and her age, you get double dead.
Angelica: You don’t look a day over… I don’t know? I can’t judge age anymore? Nobody can?
Asia is eighty-four.
Oliver: It’s been a long time since I met a girl like you!
A girl related to you? Yeah, they’re mostly dead.
Oh Christ this again.
Oliver: Wow, nice shoes!
Oliver: You remind me of someone.
Oliver: And then she slapped me.
Tyler: I have no defining features!
Angelica: And that’s his defining feature.
Normally I’d complain about how the townies moth the clothing racks despite never buying any clothing.
But JESUS does that man ever need to.
Angelica: I have teeth!
Oliver: Hey, ow.
Tyler: Hey, you a Murphy?
Tyler: My mom says there’s too many of you.
Oliver: You’re mom’s a racist.
Angelica: Allegations turn me on.
Why the FUCK do you have two bolts with your UNCLE.
WHY THE FUCK IS CLAY HIS DAD NOW
Okay, okay. Give me a minute to think about this.
I SAID GIVE ME A MINUTE DUDE
Tyler: I think that chick likes you.
NO. NO. NO NO NO NO.
And I’m also not thrilled that my admittedly-small pool of bisexuals all prefer heterosexual matches.
Don’t follow him. GO IN SEPARATE DIRECTIONS.
Angelica: YESSS! Brought a boy home!
Angelica: -nothing, is what he is.
Oliver: That’s harsh.
Angelica: OLLIE OLLIE
Oliver: You forgot to say “oxen free.”
Angelica: Well maybe I like oxen! Did you think of that?
Angelica: Okay, let’s figure this out. What do you like about me? Be as un-gross as possible in your description.
Oliver: I like chicks who can’t see my face clearly.
Angelica: Yeah, I believe that.
Oliver: I also like redheads! You know, like every single man in the neighbourhood.
Angelica: Hahaha they’re gonna be so freaked out!
Angelica: The audience!
Angelica: When they look in the mirror.
Anthony: Ya caught me.
Wait, are we trying to raise your chemistry now?
Angelica: What if we’re a perfect match?
What if this isn’t A Song of Ice and Fire?
Anthony: You guys doin’ somethin’ pervy? Can I help?
Angelica: Okay, is this better?
Oliver: Is it better or worse if I like you more or less?
Oliver: Anyway yeah jeez.
Well I guess it’s fine, because the fucking game warped reality to make it happen.
Emerson: A girl followed me home.
As long as she’s not related to you it’s fine.
This is still the weirdest goddamn thing.
Nathaniel: The hell did you do to your hair?
Angelica: Oliver’s not related to us anymore.
Nathaniel: HOW IS THAT AN ANSWER?!
Andrew: That isn’t blue. I thought you said it was blue.
Nathaniel: Dear diary: the entire world is a creepy weirdo today.
Andrew: Don’t be alarmed, but there’s something rotating over your head.
Emerson: IS IT GONE IS IT GONE
Oliver: You’re looking lovely today, unrelated stranger!
Angelica: Thanks unc-
Angelica: -annily familiar-looking person!
Oliver: That was an amazing catch.
Angelica: So yeah, hear about the explosion?
Oliver: You mean the one in my pants?
Andrew: I think I have to kill my brother.
Andrew: That’s funny, I don’t remember grabbing a joy buzzer…
Andrew: Hey, come here! I feel funny!
Emerson: You told me to avoid adults who say things like that.
Andrew: Oh hell.
Andrew just became one of two Sims in the entire history of this neighbourhood to make it through every life stage to elderhood.
Who knows? Some day, if we’re really lucky, there might be a third one.
Angelica: A bunch of my family is dead.
Penny: What? What do you want from me? I ain’t your momma.
Anthony: Neither am I.
And then he burped up a pile of garbage.
Anthony: Well I thought it was a neat trick.
Angelica: I’ve got an idea, Anthony! Pick up the garbage!
Anthony: IT COULD NEVER WORK
Anthony: Clever girl!
You’re aware that nobody lives there now, right?
OH COME ON
Oliver: SO YOU’RE PRETTY FAT NOW HUH
Angelica: It’s not nice to say that to pregnant ladies.
Oliver: So it is nice to say to non-pregnant ladies?
Angelica: I see why he’s Clay’s kid now. There’s no way he has Grandma Abigail’s brain DNA.
Oliver: You said “brain DNA” but I’m the stupid one?
One of these things is not like the others…
Oliver: Uh-oh! I’ve got tinglies in my ding-dong!
Angelica: How old are you again?
Oliver: Like… pretty old, actually.
Angelica: Poor old man. Poor, dirty old man.
Andrew: ANDREW. Andrew!
Andrew: Technically correct!
Andrew: Thank god they’ve got my genes.
Andrew: Off to work!
Penny: You tell that Orion girl to keep her paws off you!
Chelsea’s old room.
Oliver: There’s, like, an entire wing of this house that nobody’s using.
Yeah, I think I even caught the house building itself once or twice.
Also stop clipping, dammit.
What the fuck are you doing.
I know I should focus on other things, but if you look at the pillows and the top of the sheet, doesn’t it look like a smiling Garfield?
I like how ninja teleportation is the most obvious, obtrusive thing possible.
Andrew: I’ve successfully dodged any rogue children who might want me to do shit for them.
The children in this house are all kinds of rogue right now.
Are you sure you know the difference between a bowl and a litter box?
YOU’RE STILL RELATED TO HIM
And stay away from him anyway.
Oliver: Sleep tight?
Angelica: What does that even mean.
Oliver: I don’t know.
Angelica: Nobody does.
Angelica: Eww, are those pheromones or something?
Angelica: Oh, Oliver!
Oh, okay. You’re both over eighteen and you’re not related anymore, APPARENTLY, so do whatever the fuck you want.
Just don’t expect me to watch.
Oliver: I’m a handlin’ man!
I can’t believe Andrew and Penny are the new normal.
Maybe there really is something terrible in that milk.
Nathaniel: Where the fuck is Angie?
Emerson: What is that thing?
Ignore it. I had a running joke surrounding it that nobody understood.
I’m hoping to pare it down until I only have a few dozen of those.
Running joke? That KID is a running joke!
Ha. Next time: artsifartsiness.