The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 244

Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!

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And now two meh households in a row!

I’ll see what I can do.


I like that they put Deborah’s daughter with the other adults.

As if to say “these ones stay, but that one goes.”

Deborah: Look at me?
Brooke: No! This way I can pretend I’m somewhere else.

Deborah: Welp, time to pay the bills.
Aiyana Fairchild: Wait, they don’t pay you? To be you?

Aiyana: You’re you on purpose?!

Aiyana: You need a boyfriend.
Deborah: Thanks!
Aiyana: You also need to pay.

Deborah: I knew it was too touching to believe.

Deborah: Fuck off.

Deborah: Please come keep me alive.

Deborah: I will trade sex for relevance.

Deborah: It would also help if you could mention my name to other actual characters.

I liked you better as a serial killer WAIT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN JAIL

Deborah: Yes, I guess it is a date. No, you don’t have to pretend to like me.

Deborah: COOL SO YOU BEAT UP A DUDE

Deborah: Sure, I guess you could sue him…

Deborah: Hey did you hear about the great thing William did?

Deborah: Oh, you were there? Good job not doing anything!

Deborah: Sure, it was only the defining moment of this generation! I can see why you would choose not to rise to the occasion.

Deborah: I hear they even resurrected a bunch of people just to put them on trial! I bet Nuremberg would have been really different if they’d had that option.

Deborah: Yes you can see me naked…

Deborah: Stephen for FUCK’S SAKE get over here.

Shiloh: Let me wipe this off for you.

Shiloh: Big jump!

Shiloh: Hey weirdo!

Jerome: You’re the weirdo, weirdo!

Rebecca: Hi, strange four-legged creature!

Andrea: And Guest Starring Andrea as Everyone’s Neighbour!

Rebecca: Bang! You’re dead! Now I’m going to resurrect you and put you in jail!
Shiloh: I am multiple people in this game.

Shiloh: Oh, this guy’s good! He did my mom once, your mom will like him.

Deborah: Forget whatever she tells you, Rebecca.

Deborah: The prostitute!

Deborah: Had sex with more than one person!
Stephen: Um, yeah? Me, for example?

Deborah: But also the chief of police!
Stephen: Oh, wow! Which of the three?

Andrea: You reach around like this and then SNAP THEIR NECK

People have DIED this way.

People are on TRIAL because people have died this way.

Stephen: You should have seen Ember go at this guy from the DA’s office, it was like they were having their own private sparring session in front of us!
Deborah: Sounds like she’s hot for him!
Stephen: No but wait SHUT UP

Shiloh: Hey beach belly!
Carolina:hi.

Carolina: Hiiiiiiiiii!

Deborah: Don’t fuck this up for me.

Stephen: Why, yes! I am an artist! How did you know?
Deborah: You have that air of financial ruin about you.

Children! Never quite not creepy.

Except maybe when they’re boring.

Terrified of intimacy, Deborah’s bust instinctually withdraws.

Meanwhile Andrea is transparent.

You actually find her attractive?

Stephen: No, I find her easy.

Deborah: Well spotted!

Deborah: Hey remember zombies?

Stephen: I was a zombie.

Jerome: Robots creep me out.
Rebecca: Racist.

Rebecca: Robots are hot.

I can see why you’re ignoring them.

Shiloh: So Becky, guess what? Daddy’s porking the new chick and your mom doesn’t know.

Shiloh: I’m sure she won’t mind that you’re banging her best friend slash lesbian crush.

Deborah: Serial killers! That’s a thing too!
Stephen: Hahaha yeah! I was never serial killed.

Rebecca: That’s racist too.

Jerome: OR IS IT

Deborah: So did you hear about the governor and the fire?!
Stephen: I told you I was there!
Deborah: Yeah, apparently everyone but me was there.
Stephen: Yeah, all the interesting people.

Michael: CALLING ALL C-LISTERS!

Stephen: You go ahead. I’m B-list at LEAST.

Jerome: What do you want, Michael?
Michael: How’s the YMCA working out for you?

Michael: Hahaha I’m just kidding, you’re not interesting enough to be gay.

Jerome: Thank you for this reminder that I do not enjoy your company.

Michael: I want to name the Valley after William.
Jerome: I designed a gigantic phallic tower for him. What side do you think I’m on?

Michael: That big giant penis was you? Wow! Irony.

Carolina: Can I vote twice? I’m carrying.

Michael: Depends on its political affiliations.

Michael: Tell it to kick once for left-wing, and tell it to kick a minority or a woman for right-wing.

Michael: I also accept bribes.

Carolina: You’re funny when you’re scary.

Carolina: Which is most of the time.

Carolina: Anyway sure. I’ll vote for William. He’ll keep us safe.
Michael: William has shot many more people than he has saved.

William: BUT HEY NO BACKSIES

Carolina: I think we’re done here.
Michael: Yeah, I need to get next door for the next chapter.

Wow. I turn my back for a second and all whatever breaks loose.

Good plan, hide her face.

Deborah: ♪ Someone left the cake out in the rain ♪

Deborah: So they’re building a jail.
Stephen: Maybe you should commit a crime! That way you’ll be part of that storyline, instead of probably getting killed.

Stephen: This is a bit awkward.
Deborah: Well feel free to ask her if she wants to join.

Deborah: Read any good books lately?
Stephen: Books? Those things people had in the bathroom before cell phones were invented?

Deborah: I love anti-luddites.

Me or Carolina?

Stephen: YES.

Carolina: HUARGH
Deborah: Come on, you’re wrecking the mood!

Deborah: Seriously go away, nobody cares.

Carolina: I DO NOT CONSENT TO BE FRAMED

Deborah: WHERE WERE YOU HIDING THAT?!

Stephen: Is that Deborah’s baby? Somehow?
Carolina: What? No?
Deborah: NO?!?!?

Carolina: PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE

Scene missing?

Anyway. Esther Newcastle.

Even the WooHoo hearts can’t bear to look at them.

Oh, I remember this! Sim hands didn’t used to clip through people’s backs when making out!

The things we have to look forward to.

This is not one of those things.

Deborah: You want me to be your one and only?!
Stephen: HA! No.

Deborah: Whatever I’ll take it.

Aren’t you already married to Ember?

Stephen: And Margaret.

Oh, okay.

I guess when you’re already polygamous, scale becomes meaningless.

Deborah: Scale is never meaningless.

Stephen: What is that meant to imply?

Deborah: Oh yeah? Maybe he’ll consider you for fourth wife!

Carolina: I’m already a first wife, thanks. You need to make me a better offer than that.

I forget. Is there a reason I didn’t make a second bedroom?

LOOK OUT THE ROOF’S COLLAPSING

Deborah: Wait, toss that in here.

Congratulations!

Jerome: Does she live?

Why should I tell you?

Jerome: If she lives, you can do whatever you want with me.

Kind of already working on that, buddy.

Shiloh: Hi daddy!
Jerome: Wow! How did you know I’m a daddy?!

Deborah: Sack the baby, sell the baby, profit!

Let me know how that works out for you.

Next time: um, stuff.

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