Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
Just chuggin’ along.
Hm. I think it might just be “Murphy” now, but let’s see.
I love how brutal the game is about where your significant other is not sleeping.
Asia: If Margaret’s his significant other, am I his insignificant other?
Asia: And do entire societies have significant others?
If she’s part of the society, though, she’s not an other.
Asia: Abigail will always be an other.
Asia: I don’t hear anyone.
That’s my favourite thing to hear!
Asia: Aaaand there’s no groceries. Shittiest apocalypse ever.
I’m amazed you survived the original one. Or did you? Memory = no.
Asia: Comestibles, basketed! Please and thank you!
Brooke: Bye, littlest hobo!
Ray: That chick just burned you hard.
Cara: Who’s the basket case here?
Asia: Wow! I can see all KINDS of food that isn’t in the game in there!
Stewart: Mmm, what is that smell?
Stewart: No, wait. It’s the stench of my own failure.
Are you sure? That could totally still be sausages.
Stewart: So I see my alleged fiancé didn’t sleep here tonight.
Hey man, nobody but you has ever alleged that.
Stewart: Come and help me with this bright green boil on my shoulder.
Now you see it too.
BUT DO YOU SEE THE FIN ON HIS NECK?!
Stewart: Thanks for making breakfast! You pig.
Asia: What was that?
Stewart: I said thanks for making breakfast! You hard of hearing?
Stewart: I like a girl who is where my fiancé should be but is not!
If you imply that a woman should always be cooking you food, it’s no wonder she’s not here.
Stephen: She lives with me now.
Yeah, I figured, but thanks.
Stewart: Have you seen Margaret today?
Asia: Nope! It’s been pretty great!
Stewart: Well… look, Asia. You’re still young.
Asia: You sound like North America.
Stewart: I just mean you’re in an earlier stage, even though you’re older than I am.
Asia: Shut up, North America!
Stewart: That turned fast.
Meanwhile, your house is collapsing.
Stewart: Who threw my GBA out?!
We’re finally calling it what it is?
Stewart: What? Sure! It’s a Gameling Beyond Awesome, by Ninvento!
Stewart: Stewart’s garbage can, how may I help you?
Stephen: Yeah, hi. It’s dad. I just wanted to call and tell you that your fiancé is now my wife.
Good! I’ve gotten really tired of inserting that “é.”
Stephen: Also I’m right behind you.
Stephen: And also I’m angry for some reason.
Stewart: Hi dad! How’s Margaret?
Stewart: …that was harsh.
The fuck is going on in your head dude
Asia: Who was that gross pervert?
Stewart: Yes! Cherish that first impression. Hold it close.
Stewart: Hey dickbag. Can we have an adult conversation about this?
Asia: Don’t dust up my bathrobe!
Sir Wally the Grey: Don’t dust up my feathers! AWK.
Stewart: Oh now don’t you start!
Asia: I’m… gonna go to work.
And by work you mean a furry convention, right?
Sir Wally the Grey: A VERY PALPABLE HIT
Stephen: I LIKE YOUR WALLPAPER
Stephen: Geez, kid. Rage issues much? Just ‘cuz I stole your fiancé? What a baby.
STOP SAYING THAT WORD.
Stewart: I don’t even know you, dude! Get out of my house!
Stephen: I bet this is payback for the entirety of his life when I forgot he existed.
Stewart: This one’s for you, dad.
Stewart: And the rest is for you, CleanBot!
WHAT POSSIBLE REASON
Stewart: Ew, what Samellas out here?
Stewart: Is this how they say “hi” on your planet?
Samella: Pleased to meet you!
Stewart: No! I’m not! Because you KICKED OVER MY GARBAGE CAN!
Stewart: …actually it was probably my dad wasn’t it yeah, that makes more sense.
Stewart: Anyway you’re ugly goodbye
I’m getting the impression that car wants something from you, Stew.
Stewart: It wants to hear all about how I beat up my dad, that’s what it wants!
Stewart: I have proof, the parrot saw it.
Asia: Wait! Stewart’s dad! Come back! You accidentally kicked our garbage can over!
It’s good to see an engaged learner.
Corey: I’M MORALLY QUESTIONABLE ALREADY, DON’T PRETEND TO BE SURPRISED
Okay FINE what’s she learning.
…Cooking? FUCK. Stop that this instant.
I can’t time travel.
Well fine! She’s learning to cook! Because she wants to.
Asia: Dude, overthink much?
THE PROBLEM WITH BEING LEFT-WING IS ALWAYS BEING AFRAID THE OTHER LEFT-WINGERS WON’T RECOGNIZE IT
Asia: Well calm the fuck down, you won the battle of the pork ribs.
NO! You’re cooking because it’s your right as a human being!
Asia: No, I’m cooking because Stewart can’t cook, and I want to marry him! There’s nothing sexist about it.
I disagree on principle.
Asia: You’re an idiot on principle.
Asia: Now THIS, this was probably you being sexist.
You’re welcome, man. I took the sexist bullet for you.
Stewart: Oh, wow! Such sexy sexism!
Asia: SHUT THE FUCK UP DUDES 😀
Stewart: I do love me a lady who can cook!
Asia: The Maker thinks it’s sexist for women to learn to cook.
Well no, I…
Asia: The Maker thinks he has to defend everything stereotypical his characters do.
Well YES. Yes I do.
Stewart: Let me put you at ease then, bro.
Yep, that’s the right moment to snap a pic alright.
If I wasn’t sexist, I was still a shit photographer.
Stewart: What’s the occasion, anyway? Besides the Maker’s weekly crisis of conscience, I mean.
Asia: We’re celebrating how huge my hands are!
Asia: Watch! I’ll hide them, then surprise you with how huge they are!
Asia: Are you surprised?
Wow! I thought it was usually the man who…
I love you guys.
I’m taking this as a personal favour.
Asia: Dude, you’re ruining the moment.
Yeah, you might as well throw it on the lawn. With your dad around it’ll end up there anyway.
Stewart: I should take your last name, too. ‘cuz there’s too many goddamn Murphies around here.
Yep, I think it’s official: we have completely eliminated sexism everywhere forever with this chapter.
If you start to do or think something sexist, stop right away and remember: it’s over, you can’t.
Stewart: How are those things glowing and yet not casting any light?
Stewart: This is way cooler than some dumb trials.
Michael: YOU COULD HAVE WARNED ME THEY WERE NAKED
I’m supposed to know when you’re coming over?
Michael: SIX YEARS AGO!
Fuck, really? That can’t be right…
Michael: Six fucking years ago.
Friday, 14 December 2011, 4:12 PM.
Michael: Please tell me she’s actually old.
I consider teens to always be 18.
Because otherwise even the base game is icky.
Michael: We should rename the neighbourhood after William Sharpe.
Asia: I’m a teenager, I can’t vote.
Michael: Sure you can? This isn’t, like… a vote vote.
Asia: Well THAT clears things up!
Asia: You have MY not-vote, mister! Whoever you are.
Michael: I’ve been thinking of running for mayor…
Asia: And we were thinking of having a romantic dinner. Funny how things sometimes don’t work out.
Stewart: I’d vote for both of you.
Michael: Because we’re financially-capable?
Stewart: No, because you’re both nosy.
Michael: I will be your nose, Stewart.
Stewart: Great, because it smells really bad out here.
No, it’s the garbage!
Stewart: Don’t tell someone not to brush their teeth!
Asia: Hey, thanks!
Stewart: I’d still do you with bad breath.
Asia: God I hope not.
And the misty grey fog of love descends.
I wish I didn’t remember how this ends.
Stewart: Time to greet the morning like it owes me money!
I hope I never owe you money.
Asia: I dreamed that you were saying we were doomed.
I can see me doing that.
Next time: those other people.