Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
Hopefully we’ll finish our jail sentence this update.
This taxi driver has got to be pissed at us by now.
Cameron: Very mature.
Aurora: Almost! ALMOST!
Ricky: Man, the stands are PACKED!
Nerissa: If I were a taxpayer I sure would feel secure.
Nerissa: Alright everybody, we’ve had a lot of crashes around here lately. Try not to do so much stupid shit.
Tish: This is you trying?
Ally: I still think we should have had the real jail ready ahead of time. I don’t trust the security here, and we don’t have a safe path to the courthouse.
Annie: Wait… I’m the security here!
Nerissa: You’re out of line, McClane!
Nerissa: Whatever! If we didn’t house the prisoners here, I ask you, what would we do with all these instant meals?!
Ally: You’re gonna look beautiful in the newspaper exposé.
Ally: Cameron alone! She’s a major security risk. What if ENTROPY tries to free her? They do shit like that! ENTROPIC shit!
Nerissa: Look bitch, we have officers jump-roping around the clock to keep this place locked down tight!
Ally: WELL MAYBE THE EVIL SECRET SOCIETY OF EVIL ISN’T PLANNING TO CHALLENGE US TO A ROPE-JUMPING MATCH!
Ally: Something awful is gonna happen.
Nerissa: I don’t visit that website.
Nerissa: Anyway, what do you expect me to do? Build a prison with your bare hands? Construction takes time!
Ally: NOT IN “THE SIMS” IT DOESN’T!
Ally: I hope they name the inevitable debacle after you.
Annie: Have you tried herbal supplements, Tish?
Ally: Everything squared away, Annie?
Annie: Sure! Whatever that means.
Ally: Buck up, Jalowitz. I need you at one hundred percent!
Ricky: Ugh, that’s what I was worried about.
Ally: Alright, now that we’ve established that the ensuing catastrophe can’t possibly be my fault, I’m satisfied.
Good thing we finally got everything sorted.
Stewart: Yes please.
Stewart: Hi Mrs. Pretty Policewoman! I would like to take your much-less-pretty redhead home so you don’t have to put up with her shit anymore.
Nerissa: You CAN learn!
Nerissa: Hey skank.
Nerissa: You’re free to go. Nobody cares about those people you killed.
Rosemarie: My faith in society is restored!
Rosemarie: Off the record, aren’t my tits great.
Nerissa: They really are.
Nerissa: So please get them out of here.
If you’re gonna be a fake cop, Jizzy, try not doing it in front of the real cop shop.
Stewart: I feel like I’ve been separated from you for CHAPTERS!
Rosemarie: Let’s leave so he can save the game.
YES DO THAT
Rosemarie: You look so good in low-light conditions.
Rosemarie: I like a man who can bail me out of jailtime.
Nerissa: Dead late, as usual.
Nerissa: Don’t eat anybody I wouldn’t eat.
Nerissa: I’ve been saving that one up.
Nicholas: Gotta keep in shape!
I agree! Fuck that guy. Whoever he is.
Chelsea: I will not!
Sandy: WE SHOULD TOTES BREAK IN
Yeah, they’ve got all sorts of cool stuff in here.
Nicholas: It’s like looking through a glass freezer case.
Tish: You can’t eat them, you don’t know where they’ve been!
And you can’t eat her, because I don’t know what she’s doing.
Tish: What I’m doing is getting a free shower.
I forget that townies aren’t housies.
Tish: See you around, boss?
Nicholas: You’d better hope not!
Tish: Right, right, I’ll call the… other cops, if I do.
Tish: Please don’t eat me.
Kyle: There’s people eating around here?
Tish: You can join my bird barbecue if you bring your own bird!
Tish: God I wish I could afford pigeon.
Victor: Out my way, prep stuff.
Victor: Hahaha “prep stuff.”
Victor: I’m funny.
Victor: Pretty sure criminals shouldn’t sleep.
Victor: BUT THAT JUST MEANS ME AND MARISSA CAN SPEND MORE QUALITY TIME TOGETHER
Annie: We should make a loud noise first.
Vicki: Did somebody just pop the world’s tiniest balloon?
Aurora: Good day off, boss?
Annie: Take lots of good medication?
All the good medication is right here.
Chelsea: Appreciate it.
Cameron: I had a dream this day was taking three entire chapters to get through.
Welcome to my nightmare.
Victor: Everything is fine in the Chiefs Cwik Family. My wife loves me very much and I am not at all on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Annie: I’m so flattered you think I’d be worried for you!
Victor: I dunno, you look kinda sappy.
Annie: Same to you, bitch!
Victor: More like same to me! Meow!
Brooke: Why did you get her to strip before she got to the shower?
Victor: You serious?!
Vicki: I’m not really a performer.
Annie: You shoulda thought of that before we hired two perverts and a zombie as our chiefs.
Victor: DON’T MIND ME JUST DOING LEGITIMATE WORK
Annie: GOT IT COVERED THANKS CHIEF
Victor: WELL I CALL DIBS ON THIS ONE
Vicki: Any other bidders?
I can’t believe these perverts want to watch you shower.
Vicki: Watching me shower sure is perverted.
Yep. Hey, slow down a little. We got time.
Annie: Men! Monsters.
Vicki: Weird monsters.
Victor: I’M NOT WEIRD AM I MARISSA
Brooke, do you even have a second facial expression?
Brooke: On THIS salary?!?!
Brooke: So are we gonna be guards at the new prison or are they gonna get an entirely new crew of insane slaves?
Victor: I’ve been thinking of committing a crime. You know, to guarantee myself a spot.
Hey, funny story! Nick fucked her again after you died.
Vicki: That’s not up to your usual level of humour.
Well, that’s your opinion.
Brooke: I’m glad we had this chat.
Victor: Did we? We did. Cool.
Victor: I’m flattered that you think I was listening.
Annie: I wonder… are these too good for criminals?!
Chelsea: Definitely not.
Brooke and Victor: Bare minimum standard of care ACHIEVED!
Next time: prologue to the Trials of the Generation.
Be there or be here! Because those are the same place.