Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
It’s nice to be making progress again.
I can’t wait until this story becomes a legal drama.
Definitely deserves a second update, this “household.”
Oh good, you’re planning an art heist.
You’re supposed to wait until the artist LEAVES, stupid!
Stephen: What? WHAT? I can’t fucking hear you.
Renée: What? WHAT?
The language of love can be heard in a vacuum.
Stephen: Yeah, I’m pretty cool. Got a floating lamp and everything.
Renée: That is pretty cool.
Renée: I’ve never met an actual artist before. Are they all like you?
Stephen: You mean, solvent? No.
Stephen: Hey baby, let me cut straight to the cliché. I’m doing hot portraits of hot chicks with my camera, and I want you to hot your hot for my hot.
Stephen: I can see that was a lot for you to digest.
Stephen: “Portrait of a Woman in Slumber.”
Stephen: I’m still mad at him.
HE WAS EATEN BY A COWPLANT.
Stephen: HE DOESN’T GET CREDIT FOR THAT
Stephen: What’s that drug abuse hotline again?
Stephen: Oh, hey Stewart. Can Margaret come over? Oh. Oh… sure… I’d love it if you’d visit.
Stephen: Maybe he wants a fat chick.
Stephen: Um, hi? Over here?
Stewart: I just wanted to apologize for thinking you were banging my fiancé.
Stephen: That’s okay. You had good reasons.
Stephen: Very good, very definitely wrong reasons.
Stewart: I like your new rug.
Renée: My finger tastes like skin.
Sultry, and I don’t throw that term around loosely.
Renée: Your dad is hot.
Renée: That’s all I have to say to you.
Renée: Oh! You are also hot.
Stewart: Being also hot is double plus hot!
Renée: Does he do this a lot?
Renée: Make him go away.
Stephen: Go away.
Stephen: So it’s pretty complicated. You get your clothes off, and I give you stuff to hold, and then take some pics, and maybe masturbate upstairs while you wait.
Renée: Or I could watch!
Stephen: Could you, though?
Renée: Do I need to fill out any forms for this? ‘cuz I might be an illegal mortigrant.
Stephen: Is that an immigant from being dead?
Renée: Yeah. You like it?
Stephen: I WANT TO MARRY IT!
Stephen: Hahaha I HATE THAT GUY
Stephen: I’m a doctor.
Renée: You are not a doctor.
Stephen: A love doctor!
Renée: Aww, it wasn’t that bad.
Renée: You strike me as a very sad man.
Stephen: I do NOT strike women!
Renée: Do you ever speak seriously?
Stephen: Gosh, I hope not.
Renée: I’m ready for my-
Stephen: -clichéd phraseology? Cool.
Stephen: Apology accepted!
Stephen: Who am I again?
Stephen: You know, my doctor specifically prohibits this.
Renée: Is he a real doctor?
Renée: So, you take pin-up pics.
Stephen: Artistic pin-up pics.
Renée: Well, I can pose and levitate on command.
Stephen: You are frighteningly limber for such an… adipose-positive person.
Stephen: I don’t know whether to photograph you or fuck you!
Renée: Why not both?
Stephen: Yeah! Why NOT!
Renée: Oh. You said yes. I didn’t expect that.
Stephen: Why? Do people not normally think you’re attractive?
Renée: Mostly they kill me.
Stephen: Oh. Wow! Well. I can probably do better than that.
Renée: Alright, so. We gonna do this?
Stephen: We’re either doing this or I’m doing you.
Stephen: So get that kit off.
Renée: Is this for real?
Stephen: Hell no! This is for art.
Needs more saturation.
Needs more smile.
Needs more… oh! It needs to make sense. Probably should have led with that.
Stephen: I captured your interest in medical instruments and your secret, never-to-be-fulfilled desire to have a child.
Renée: Mind-reading is hot.
Renée: Oh! You should do one of these for Melanie!
Stephen: Why are you trying to kill me?
Stephen: By what standard is that a fat body.
Stephen: Phat is more like it.
He didn’t read your mind, you know.
I just told him stuff about you.
I’m beginning to think you’re not listening to me.
Stephen: The world would be a lot happier if more people did that.
Stephen: Didn’t do that.
Renée: I’d ask how you’re doing down there, but the plumbob tells me all I need to know.
Stephen: YEAH I’M ALRIGHT
I didn’t expect Kaylynn to be this hot.
Renée: Yeah, fuck you too.
Stephen: More like fuck me too!
Renée: I bet Marilyn Monroe had to do a lot of this, too.
I like the feeling of elevation in this pic.
And the blowjob.
But mostly the feeling of elevation.
Stephen: This is how I’d jerk off if my dick was bigger.
Renée: This is my sexy librarian pose.
Stephen: Needs more impotent frustration.
Portrait of Renée: Hahaha, what you crazy kids doin’.
Stephen: Okay story over.
Renée: I didn’t get a modelling fee, but the sex was a fair substitute.
Renée: Build mode’s on.
WELL LET ME JUST HEAD BACK TO 2013 OR WHATEVER AND FIX IT
Tucker: I dare you to ask.
Renée: I bet I could fit my head in here.
Got no caption.
Just a nice picture.
Renée: I could really eat a baby right now.
So, we gonna talk about your empty womb syndrome?
Renée: YOU KNEW I WAS A FAMILY SIM WHEN YOU RUINED MY LIFE.
Renée: I replace all my sorrows with salt.
Caryl: How do I get me some o’ them flowers?
Stephen: You? You don’t.
THEY FOUND YOU KAYLYNN
NEVER MIND KAYLYNN
Brooke: Weird sky man shouts weird shit sometimes.
Stephen: I could swear I put some flowers there already. Oh well.
Renée: Who needs husbands when you have pasta.
Renée: I’m so lonely.
Renée: And also bored.
Renée: AND ALSO WOW THAT WAS FAST
Renée: How is my second life already passing me by?
Stephen: FINE. Steal my flowers. I’LL FUCKING SHOW YOU
Stephen: BOOM! Stargate.
This sums up all my feelings about work.
I think they meant to call this body shape “hot.”
Renée: Maybe this nobody will marry me.
Blazej: I don’t know what you’re about to ask, but no.
Blazej: OW OW OW OW OW
Renée: Yep. This is gonna be a good day.
Just another day in the Valley.
The Maker weeps.
Next time: positive change.
Opinions may vary.