The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 229

Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!

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It’s nice to be making progress again.

I can’t wait until this story becomes a legal drama.


Definitely deserves a second update, this “household.”

Oh good, you’re planning an art heist.

You’re supposed to wait until the artist LEAVES, stupid!

Renée:
Stephen:
What? WHAT? I can’t fucking hear you.
Renée:

Stephen:
Renée: What? WHAT?

The language of love can be heard in a vacuum.

Stephen: CLOSED.

Stephen: Yeah, I’m pretty cool. Got a floating lamp and everything.

Renée: That is pretty cool.

Renée: I’ve never met an actual artist before. Are they all like you?
Stephen: You mean, solvent? No.

Stephen: Hey baby, let me cut straight to the cliché. I’m doing hot portraits of hot chicks with my camera, and I want you to hot your hot for my hot.

Stephen: I can see that was a lot for you to digest.

Stephen: “Portrait of a Woman in Slumber.”

YOU WON.

Stephen: I’m still mad at him.

HE WAS EATEN BY A COWPLANT.

Stephen: HE DOESN’T GET CREDIT FOR THAT

Stephen: What’s that drug abuse hotline again?

Stephen: Oh, hey Stewart. Can Margaret come over? Oh. Oh… sure… I’d love it if you’d visit.

Stephen: Maybe he wants a fat chick.

Stephen: Um, hi? Over here?

Stewart: I just wanted to apologize for thinking you were banging my fiancé.
Stephen: That’s okay. You had good reasons.

Stephen: Very good, very definitely wrong reasons.

Stewart: I like your new rug.

Renée: My finger tastes like skin.

Wow!

Sultry, and I don’t throw that term around loosely.

Anymore.

Renée: Your dad is hot.

Renée: That’s all I have to say to you.

Renée: Oh! You are also hot.
Stewart: Being also hot is double plus hot!

Renée: Does he do this a lot?

Almost exclusively.

Renée: Make him go away.

Stephen: Go away.

Stephen: So it’s pretty complicated. You get your clothes off, and I give you stuff to hold, and then take some pics, and maybe masturbate upstairs while you wait.

Renée: Or I could watch!
Stephen: Could you, though?

Renée: Do I need to fill out any forms for this? ‘cuz I might be an illegal mortigrant.

Stephen: Is that an immigant from being dead?
Renée: Yeah. You like it?
Stephen: I WANT TO MARRY IT!

Stephen: Hahaha I HATE THAT GUY

Stephen: I’m a doctor.

Renée: You are not a doctor.

Stephen: A love doctor!

Renée: Aww, it wasn’t that bad.

Renée: You strike me as a very sad man.
Stephen: I do NOT strike women!

Renée: Do you ever speak seriously?
Stephen: Gosh, I hope not.

Renée: I’m ready for my-
Stephen: -clichéd phraseology? Cool.

Stephen: Apology accepted!

Stephen: Who am I again?

Stephen: You know, my doctor specifically prohibits this.

Renée: Is he a real doctor?

Renée: So, you take pin-up pics.
Stephen: Artistic pin-up pics.

Renée: Well, I can pose and levitate on command.
Stephen: Convenient!

Stephen: You are frighteningly limber for such an… adipose-positive person.

Stephen: I don’t know whether to photograph you or fuck you!

Renée: Why not both?
Stephen: Yeah! Why NOT!

Renée: Oh. You said yes. I didn’t expect that.

Stephen: Why? Do people not normally think you’re attractive?
Renée: Mostly they kill me.
Stephen: Oh. Wow! Well. I can probably do better than that.

Renée: Alright, so. We gonna do this?
Stephen: We’re either doing this or I’m doing you.

Stephen: So get that kit off.

Renée: Is this for real?
Stephen: Hell no! This is for art.

Needs more saturation.

Needs more smile.

Needs more… oh! It needs to make sense. Probably should have led with that.

Stephen: I captured your interest in medical instruments and your secret, never-to-be-fulfilled desire to have a child.

Renée: Mind-reading is hot.

Renée: Oh! You should do one of these for Melanie!
Stephen: Why are you trying to kill me?

Stephen: By what standard is that a fat body.

Stephen: Phat is more like it.

He didn’t read your mind, you know.

Renée: Mmmmph.

I just told him stuff about you.

Renée: Mmmmmmbmph.

I’m beginning to think you’re not listening to me.

Stephen: The world would be a lot happier if more people did that.

Stephen: Didn’t do that.

Stephen: Whatever.

Renée: I’d ask how you’re doing down there, but the plumbob tells me all I need to know.

Stephen: YEAH I’M ALRIGHT

I didn’t expect Kaylynn to be this hot.

Renée: Yeah, fuck you too.

Stephen: More like fuck me too!

Renée: I bet Marilyn Monroe had to do a lot of this, too.

I like the feeling of elevation in this pic.

And the blowjob.

But mostly the feeling of elevation.

Stephen: This is how I’d jerk off if my dick was bigger.

Renée: This is my sexy librarian pose.
Stephen: Needs more impotent frustration.

Portrait of Renée: Hahaha, what you crazy kids doin’.

Stephen: Okay story over.

Renée: I didn’t get a modelling fee, but the sex was a fair substitute.

Renée: Build mode’s on.

WELL LET ME JUST HEAD BACK TO 2013 OR WHATEVER AND FIX IT

Renée: What.

Tucker: I dare you to ask.

Renée: I bet I could fit my head in here.

Got no caption.

Just a nice picture.

Renée: I could really eat a baby right now.

So, we gonna talk about your empty womb syndrome?

Renée: YOU KNEW I WAS A FAMILY SIM WHEN YOU RUINED MY LIFE.

Renée: I replace all my sorrows with salt.

Me too.

Caryl: How do I get me some o’ them flowers?
Stephen: You? You don’t.

THEY FOUND YOU KAYLYNN

Brooke: Huh?

NEVER MIND KAYLYNN

Brooke: Weird sky man shouts weird shit sometimes.

Stephen: I could swear I put some flowers there already. Oh well.

Renée: Who needs husbands when you have pasta.

Renée: I’m so lonely.

Renée: And also bored.

Renée: AND ALSO WOW THAT WAS FAST

Renée: How is my second life already passing me by?

Stephen: FINE. Steal my flowers. I’LL FUCKING SHOW YOU

Stephen: BOOM! Stargate.

Renée: FUCK.

This sums up all my feelings about work.

I think they meant to call this body shape “hot.”

Renée: Maybe this nobody will marry me.

Blazej: I don’t know what you’re about to ask, but no.

Blazej: OW OW OW OW OW

Renée: Yep. This is gonna be a good day.

Just another day in the Valley.

The Maker weeps.

Next time: positive change.

Opinions may vary.

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