Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
It’s good to be back.
It would be better if anyone noticed.
But that’s my fault.
So yeah, let’s do whatever this is.
Oh. I forgot you entirely.
Renée: I was Kaylynn.
The one who kept dying.
Renée: Yeah. Thanks for that, by the way.
Nathaniel: Wow, people really live like this? Sad.
Renée: IT COULD BE WORSE
Renée: Alright storylines, if you won’t come here, I’mma come get you.
What a surprise that this place has a lack of diverse occasions.
Hahaha. Stupid old Murphy house.
With its stupid fat head.
…and what looks like an unsided wall? Shit.
Hell of a thing to notice literally years later.
Funny thing about this park: it was made for a different neighbourhood and got used here as filler.
What’s funny about that? The idea that something interesting might happen there.
Kyle: Do you know how this game works?
Jizelle: Non. I was hoping you might.
Annie is gay for Emily.
Who is Annie, you might ask? Annie is the townie who is gay for Emily.
Emily is the townie who Annie is gay for.
Emily: Hey, thanks.
Iris: You mean the tower, right? Can’t fool me.
Renée: Not a very engaging place.
Tucker: Why are you squeezing my hand so hard?
Renée: Because a real redhead would only be able to stand it for a few seconds, you faker.
Tucker: Damn woman, I wish her head was on your tits!
Renée: DAG yo, I wish his DICK was in your MOUTH
Michael: What did I do?!
EXTRA IN THE SHOT. EXTRA IN THE SHOT.
Renée: Maybe she’ll go away if you beat her up.
Michael: Maybe I’ll go to jail if I beat her up.
Michael: Also she’s my bailiff. I’m a judge.
Renée: And I’mma judgin’ you hotly, your honour!
Tucker: Do you judge me hotly, Iris?
Iris: It sounds stupid, so definitely. Also who told you my name.
Renée: God, I remember being a townie now.
Kiera: How do you like my workout hair?
Renée: It’s very 2004.
Kiera: How are you so fat with a Body skill that high?!
Renée: Now we make fists and glare at the ball.
Kiera: Fistglare! GO!
Renée: You try! And I do mean try.
Renée: You had no way of knowing that baby carriage would be there.
Kyle: It’s always surprising how much blood the human body contains.
Kyle: Seeing that baby die makes me feel so ripped.
Nice shot, but I’m more interested in the giant stop sign on the Sharpe Tower.
Iris: That was almost as disappointing as Alvin in bed.
What’s shakin’, Jizzy?
Prepare for trouble!
Renée: Make it doable.
I am literally listening to Pokémon music right now.
Scot Macarevich the Infallibly Good Warlock: Hey there! My name is-
Renée: I can read.
Renée: Hm. I might like the gay kid better.
This is what Florida looks like to Canadians.
Renée: SO GOOD
Kyle: WE ARE ALL LIGHT VAMPIRES
That’s a fair description of Superman, actually.
Renée: Let’s sports. I wanna sports with a wizard.
Kyle: I could become a wizard! “Yer a wizard, Kylie!” No?
Kyle: Was the “Kylie” part the problem?
Emily: Better up your ante soon, kid, or he’ll demote you to unplayable.
Kyle: IS THAT A THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?!
Annie: Hot dogs? Phbbt. Pleb.
Renée: What if I put GUY FIERI’S DONKEY SAUCE™®©℗ ON IT?!?!?!
Michael: There aren’t real donkeys in it, are there? I’m allergic.
Annie: To donkeys.
Michael: No, just allergic. In general.
Iris: Man, you’re so hot my arm is in my boob!
Kyle: I’m not gay. I’m bisexual.
Emily: A clever bid for relevance. Let’s see if it works out for you.
Annie: HANDS OFF MY MAN AND MY MEAT BITCH
I’d say “get a room” but then I’d have to show what happens.
This is a park, not a drug bust.
(‘cuz her name is Tish Leive)
(yeah I know terrible)
Kyle: Just like slappin’ penises.
Sorry Chloe, but I’m much more interested in Kiera’s invisible basketball.
(My friend Tom’s alternate caption: “I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL STRANGLE YOU, SIDEWALK! I WILL FIND A WAY.)
Kyle: What a sexy political opinion!
Mrs. Crumplebottom: In my day we never rocketed into space on our arses.
Renée: Imagine what it would be like to not be white.
Emily: UGH. I don’t know how people survive like that.
Emily: Is it racist to talk about enjoying white privilege?
Chloe: Worried liberals are hot.
All my Sims are liberal, because I’m liberal.
I just can’t get behind roleplaying Nazis is all.
Renée: It’s not bad, but something’s lacking.
Renée: That’s better.
Said nobody ever.
The fact that Kyle is the most eye-catching thing here is a real testament to what a failure this was.
Jerome: Oh hell.
Mrs. Crumplebottom: BACK IN MY DAY SEPARATE WASHROOMS
Jerome: Goodnight, Mabel.
Mrs. Crumplebottom: DRINKIN’ FOUNTAINS TOO
Annie: What are you doing?
Renée: Making a plate golem, obviously.
Renée: So now we know a body could make a plate golem unopposed around here.
Tucker: Hey! Boobs! Great idea!
Michael: The fuck am I doing here?
Kiera: Just walk away, Renée.
Kiera: YOU WON’T SEE ME FOLLOW YOU BACK HOME.
Renée: I will pay you to tackle her, Emily.
Renée: Not, like, a lot, but still.
Everyone: JUST WALK AWAY RENÉE
You rebel you.
Kyle: What? Why? Were we doing something?
The empty sidewalks on my block are not the same.
You’re not to blame.
Hey Plain Jane.
Jane: More like INSANE Jane! Yeah, I don’t believe it either.
Penny: HWAAAAUGH I CAN’T BREATHE LIKE THIS
Felicia: The fuck is this place anyway?
Yet another filler lot.
Kinda like how this is a filler update.
Kendra: That’s my kind of update!
It is! I’m sorry about that.
Renée: Ooh, is that the service sidewalk?
Next time: this again, but with a lot of added nudity.