The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 224

Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!

Click Here for Previous Entries!

I didn’t like that last one.

That’s not a very good advertisement for this one, is it.

Oh well.


Brenda: What does this thing do, anyway?

Brenda: AUUUAGH! Why would anyone buy a barf machine?!

Brenda: I’m gonna go get a garbage bag.

Brenda: People are very strange these days.

Brenda: Time for my Shower-Watching Club homework!

Brenda: What a fierce shower!

Brenda: Time for my Retina-Scarring Club homework!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HOW

HOW DID YOU

HOW

Chief: .oO(THAT PEE COULD BE ANYONE’S)

Chief: .oO(MAYBE THOSE PEOPLE DID IT)

Phoebe: You could have passed it off as lemonade.
Chief: .oO(And YOU could have passed YOURSELF off as A PERSON WHO CAN’T READ DOG BRAINS)
Phoebe: SHIT

How do you like THEM lemons.

Chief: .oO(I HATES THEM!)

Chief: .oO(fuck does THIS asshole want.)

Nick: I’m home!
Chief: .oO(I’LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT)

Nick: Who dropped their lemonade?!

Andrea: Oh good, you have a dog. And me without my hand sanitizer.

Andrea: AND ME WITHOUT MY HAND SANITIZER

Andrea: AND ME

Andrea: Without my hand sanitizer.

Nathaniel: Sorry, it’s “Whack a Crazy” Day today!

Andrea: I’M IN

Nick: Hey! I’m a DUDE! There aren’t supposed to be CONSEQUENCES for my actions!

Andrea: The patriarchy is hilarious.

Valerie: How’s the ennui, my little Peanuts?

Valerie: I’ve brought a crazy home.

Shiloh: Ugh, and me with my head at crotch-level…

Nick: Is she… with her…?
Andrea: I refuse to look.

Shiloh: How are those pants staying up?
Nick: Asked NOBODY.

Valerie: Thanks for leaving this piss for me, I guess.
Nick: Dammit! She called my lemonade PISS!
Shiloh: Sweet burn!

Poppy: I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING

Nathaniel: Teddy is my only friend.

Andrea: Yeah, about that. I’ve been talking to Teddy…

Andrea: …and it turns out he hasn’t been animated by a wizard or anything.

Nick: I don’t want live friends! They’re harder to pose that way!

Nick: I’ve been thinking of making a pillow man so I can have two friends.

Andrea: I could explain to you how lame that is, but it would take some time.

Andrea: I only got off at your house to scare my mom.

Shiloh: My dog had a bowl just like this!

Shiloh: That’s a terrible thing to say, Teddy! Nick’s not that ugly.

Valerie: How’s the draft, puss?
Poppy: I don’t understand.
Nick: Neither do I, but I approve.

Once is a mistake.

Twice is a choice.

Sometimes I think reality could learn a thing or two from this game.

What the fuck are you doing?

Ally: With all the gunk in your game files, who knows?!

Ally: Your cake is STUPID.

Ally: And you’re stupid.

Nick: You’ve gotta admit, she’s got you pegged!

Valerie: Wait! It’s your sister’s birthday!
Nick: That’s why I’m leaving! Let me know when it’s mine.

Valerie: Ptthhhhbbbbtttttt

Samantha: .oO(You’ll pay for that.)

Valerie: Oh, no! She’s got anal stellitis!

Worse! She’s got a bowlcut!

Valerie: It’s a serious condition and it’s not nice to point.

Goth baby!

Klepto baby?

Samantha: MINE.

Valerie: If you fall into the hole, scream really loud okay?

Valerie: I said IF YOU FALL INTO THE HOLE

Samantha: .oO(I feel loved.)

Valerie: Pretty sure this is baby food and not homemade Windex.

Valerie: PRETTY sure.

Either way, it looks potent.

NIPPLE

Right, now I can focus.

…Heheheh. Nipple.

Samantha: .oO(This what turns you on, creep?)

Clearly.

Samantha: .oO(WHAT IS THIS SHIT ALL OVER ME)

Samantha: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Valerie: I told you about the hole!

Chief: .oO(I can’t believe you said that, Teddy.)

Chief: .oO(You tell him I’ll be licking my balls in the kitchen if he wants to apologize.)

Valerie: Wow, you sure are glowing still! I’m sure that’s not a health issue.

Aren’t you supposed to be a doctor?

Valerie: I know, right?!

Yeah, that’s definitely your most pressing problem Brad.

Bradley: Hey murderer! MURDERED ANYONE LATELY

Valerie: I don’t want to scare you, but there’s a pair of marshmallows hovering over your head.

Valerie: Are you emitting these things?! Are you a holoprojector?!

Samantha: .oO(can’t see a FUCKING thing)

Chelsea’s reputation is pretty far-reaching.

Ally: Well you shouldn’t have walked over it, stupid.

Ally: Your dog’s stuck on the fence.
Valerie: Good thing he’s not really mine!

Valerie: I prefer pets you can abuse.

Valerie: Now there’s a marketing strategy!

Don’t be stupid, you can’t have sex with the SUN.

CRACK

Next time: gentleman thievery.

And gentlewoman thievery.

And affected French accents?

Is that anybody’s thing?

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