Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
I didn’t like that last one.
That’s not a very good advertisement for this one, is it.
Brenda: What does this thing do, anyway?
Brenda: AUUUAGH! Why would anyone buy a barf machine?!
Brenda: I’m gonna go get a garbage bag.
Brenda: People are very strange these days.
Brenda: Time for my Shower-Watching Club homework!
Brenda: What a fierce shower!
Brenda: Time for my Retina-Scarring Club homework!
HOW DID YOU
Chief: .oO(THAT PEE COULD BE ANYONE’S)
Chief: .oO(MAYBE THOSE PEOPLE DID IT)
Phoebe: You could have passed it off as lemonade.
Chief: .oO(And YOU could have passed YOURSELF off as A PERSON WHO CAN’T READ DOG BRAINS)
How do you like THEM lemons.
Chief: .oO(I HATES THEM!)
Chief: .oO(fuck does THIS asshole want.)
Nick: I’m home!
Chief: .oO(I’LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT)
Nick: Who dropped their lemonade?!
Andrea: Oh good, you have a dog. And me without my hand sanitizer.
Andrea: AND ME WITHOUT MY HAND SANITIZER
Andrea: AND ME
Andrea: Without my hand sanitizer.
Nathaniel: Sorry, it’s “Whack a Crazy” Day today!
Andrea: I’M IN
Nick: Hey! I’m a DUDE! There aren’t supposed to be CONSEQUENCES for my actions!
Andrea: The patriarchy is hilarious.
Valerie: How’s the ennui, my little Peanuts?
Valerie: I’ve brought a crazy home.
Shiloh: Ugh, and me with my head at crotch-level…
Nick: Is she… with her…?
Andrea: I refuse to look.
Shiloh: How are those pants staying up?
Nick: Asked NOBODY.
Valerie: Thanks for leaving this piss for me, I guess.
Nick: Dammit! She called my lemonade PISS!
Shiloh: Sweet burn!
Poppy: I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING
Nathaniel: Teddy is my only friend.
Andrea: Yeah, about that. I’ve been talking to Teddy…
Andrea: …and it turns out he hasn’t been animated by a wizard or anything.
Nick: I don’t want live friends! They’re harder to pose that way!
Nick: I’ve been thinking of making a pillow man so I can have two friends.
Andrea: I could explain to you how lame that is, but it would take some time.
Andrea: I only got off at your house to scare my mom.
Shiloh: My dog had a bowl just like this!
Shiloh: That’s a terrible thing to say, Teddy! Nick’s not that ugly.
Valerie: How’s the draft, puss?
Poppy: I don’t understand.
Nick: Neither do I, but I approve.
Once is a mistake.
Twice is a choice.
Sometimes I think reality could learn a thing or two from this game.
What the fuck are you doing?
Ally: With all the gunk in your game files, who knows?!
Ally: Your cake is STUPID.
Ally: And you’re stupid.
Nick: You’ve gotta admit, she’s got you pegged!
Valerie: Wait! It’s your sister’s birthday!
Nick: That’s why I’m leaving! Let me know when it’s mine.
Samantha: .oO(You’ll pay for that.)
Valerie: Oh, no! She’s got anal stellitis!
Worse! She’s got a bowlcut!
Valerie: It’s a serious condition and it’s not nice to point.
Valerie: If you fall into the hole, scream really loud okay?
Valerie: I said IF YOU FALL INTO THE HOLE
Samantha: .oO(I feel loved.)
Valerie: Pretty sure this is baby food and not homemade Windex.
Valerie: PRETTY sure.
Either way, it looks potent.
Right, now I can focus.
Samantha: .oO(This what turns you on, creep?)
Samantha: .oO(WHAT IS THIS SHIT ALL OVER ME)
Valerie: I told you about the hole!
Chief: .oO(I can’t believe you said that, Teddy.)
Chief: .oO(You tell him I’ll be licking my balls in the kitchen if he wants to apologize.)
Valerie: Wow, you sure are glowing still! I’m sure that’s not a health issue.
Aren’t you supposed to be a doctor?
Valerie: I know, right?!
Yeah, that’s definitely your most pressing problem Brad.
Bradley: Hey murderer! MURDERED ANYONE LATELY
Valerie: I don’t want to scare you, but there’s a pair of marshmallows hovering over your head.
Valerie: Are you emitting these things?! Are you a holoprojector?!
Samantha: .oO(can’t see a FUCKING thing)
Chelsea’s reputation is pretty far-reaching.
Ally: Well you shouldn’t have walked over it, stupid.
Ally: Your dog’s stuck on the fence.
Valerie: Good thing he’s not really mine!
Valerie: I prefer pets you can abuse.
Valerie: Now there’s a marketing strategy!
Don’t be stupid, you can’t have sex with the SUN.
Next time: gentleman thievery.
And gentlewoman thievery.
And affected French accents?
Is that anybody’s thing?