Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
Meanwhile in Alvania…
I’m yellow, da ba dee da ba die.
Ooh, vivacious. They sure are alive, alright.
Alvin: I need at least three more friends before the end of the day.
Iris: Do they have to actually like you, or can I threaten them into cooperating?
Alvin: I have a government job, baby. Threatening is always an option.
Iris: Oh, I see, I see! Very interesting! Now write my husband a reference or I’ll send ninjas to kill you.
Iris: Yes, I’m serious. Actual ninjas. With certificates and everything.
Iris: Nice to meet you too! How would you like to live to the ripe old age of tomorrow?
Iris: Look, I’m just asking you to lie about Alvin. I’m not making you meet him or anything icky like that.
Iris: Aren’t you real friends with that Whittaker douche? Fake friends with Alvin is way less disgusting.
Iris: Oh god, really? Never mind, we don’t want your endorsement.
Alvin: I HATE WORMS IN MY ORANGE JUICE
Alvin: And also myself
I hate you too.
Iris: You’re a shoe-in for promotion, honey.
Alvin: More like a GUMSHOE-in! HAHAHAHAHA
Alvin: Because I’m a secret ag-
Iris: OH I GOT IT
Iris: IT’S JUST THAT I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIT TO DEAL WITH TODAY
I think we need a safety valve for that anger.
Iris: Which one are you? I can’t tell from this far away.
Iris: Haha, yeah, hi! Whoever you are!
Iris: I’m gonna guess you’re Erica.
Neither of them is named Erica.
Iris: It’s a less offensive mistake that way!
Kelsey: BAM! Check out those wall tiles!
Nathaniel: SOOOOO CLASSY
Nathaniel: Oh god, my new pants! Good thing my mom’s going to jail!
Nathaniel: ‘cuz otherwise she’d kill me.
Brooke: Is this a crime? It looks like a crime…
Nathaniel: Wow, do you have your own field of gravity yet?!
Iris: I am going to belly-crush you.
Nathaniel: Whoa, dial back the violence a little!
Brooke: Ooh, I got that pun!
Iris: I don’t know if you know this, but there’s a thing hanging over your head.
Iris and Nathaniel: HAHAHAHAHA WE’RE NOT REAL
Nathaniel: You look like a hippie. Are you a hippie?
Nathaniel: ‘cuz if I had my way all the hippies’d go in the oven.
Nathaniel: Then presto, alakaZAM! No more hippies!
Kelsey: If I laugh will you spare me.
Iris: END OF THE LINE, WOODY
Iris: ‘cuz it’s made of wood.
Iris: You’re right, that does feel better.
Nathaniel: This is the lamest sorority I’ve ever seen.
Nathaniel: But I appreciate the uniforms.
Speaking of which.
Iris: YOU’RE a witch.
Iris: Holy shit! With the helmet on I can actually read this thing!
Iris: I can’t wait to learn about bridge and the zodiac.
Alvin: I think that was Jacques Cousteau!
Alvin: Did you know that all this time I’ve been seeing France’s most venerated explorer?!
Kelsey: You’re an idiot, Alvin.
Kelsey: Even by little kid standards.
Come on, Stephen.
You’re tanking the mood.
Iris: AAAAUGH MY OWN FACE!
Iris: AAAAUGH YOUR FACE!
Iris: Aaaaugh I’m over it.
How did that food make you THINNER.
Kelsey: Yeah, there’ snow ay that makes any sense.
Alvin: SAD GHOST OUTTA MY HOUSE
Stephen: WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’TA GHOSTED ME THEN
Alvin: GHOSTS AREN’T REAL
Kelsey: I believe in you, stupid dead guy.
Kelsey: What? You are stupid. You died stupid.
Kelsey: And I hate you.
Ghost burglar and me was like carrots and caricatures.
Kelsey: I’ll make a deal with you – you can pull as many scares as you want, as long as you only scare Alvin.
Iris: Hey. That’s my job.
Iris: THIS IS NOT MY JOB
Alvin: Ooh, throat singing! Can you teach me?
Ivy: I’m having a dream where you don’t have lungs.
Congratulations, it’s a what!
Irvin Woodrow: .oO(Countdown to therapy begins now.)
Oh, good. Another Alvin.
‘cuz the world can definitely sustain another one of those.
Alvin: Mmm, biogenesis.
Alvin: Why your ovaries so sexay?
Iris: I need to keep this one away from him.
Yes, you do.
Iris: I’m so glad breastfeeding isn’t a thing.
Stephen: I’D EVEN SETTLE FOR THAT
Alvin: Mind if I cruiseship your straits?
Iris: How can I refuse such a cleverly-conceived metaphor?
You might want to take care of the other thing he conceived first, though.
The eyes, they cannot unsee.
Alvin: Good news! The internet says he won’t remember that.
Alvin: It also says he has to poop into a cloth bag for like a year. That can’t be right.
Alvin: Also my computer is exploding.
Iris: Maybe the evil organization of evil evil, ENTROPY, is sabotaging your rig!
Alvin: ENTROPY isn’t real, Iris.
Iris: HAHAHA OF COURSE NOT
Ivy: WOO! YEAH! WASTING MY CHILDHOOD!
Kelsey: Hi Daddy! Thanks for making us listen to you sexing! Again.
Ivy: Why aren’t you dressed?
Kelsey: It’s not like dressing would make me any less ugly.
Yeah, go away and don’t come back until you’re a real age.
What the fuck are you doing.
Iris: Definitely not signalling my fellow ENTROPY agents.
Iris: Because ENTROPY isn’t real.
Iris: Nothing suspicious here!
You’re fucked, kid.
Next time: some stupid kids finally grow up.