The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 215

Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!

Click Here for Previous Entries!

And now for something completely indifferent.

At least it’s short.


Deborah: Can we be civil to each other this time?

Boring nobodies don’t have civil rights.

Deborah: I’ve been thinking of starting a support group for characters near the killing-off threshold. You in?

Brittany: FOR SOME REASON

Deborah: Hey, you’re kinda cute!
Brittany: Wow, thanks! You’re too repulsive to look at, though.

Brittany: I’m serious, I think you cause retinal scarring.

Deborah: I can try, if you like.

Solidarity forever.

What.

Deborah: HELP

Deborah: Okay! Off to work.

What just hap-

Deborah: OKAY OFF TO WORK

Okay.

Yay! I forgot you existed.

Wow, it’s an entire household of that!

Jerome: What do you think of daddy’s outfit, princess?
Shiloh: Where were you working, the YMCA?

Shiloh: You’re so stupid daddy, I love you.

Jerome: I’ll take what I can get.

Rebecca: I’m special.

As Deborah’s daughter, you’d have to be.

Rebecca: I mean the good kind of special.

I don’t know what that is.

Nick: Everybody loves me. I’m a cool kid.
Jerome: TELL ME YOUR SECRETS.

Carolina: Wow, a B+! Way to go, kid!
Rebecca: I got an A+.
Carolina: Anything higher than a B+ is a lie.

Jerome: Beat it, kid, or I’ll run you over with my car.

Nick: Like how you ran your ex-wife over with your car?
Jerome: Exactly! Except nobody will miss you.

Rebecca: Is a little respect too much to ask for?
Carolina: Pretty much, yeah.

Rebecca: They’re ignoring me, mommy.
Deborah: Do what I do: plot to kill them all eventually.

Jerome: Who the heck is that?
Carolina: Is that woman with you, Nick?
Nick: All women are with me.

Rebecca: DIE

Deborah: The word is “catch,” stupid.

Shiloh: Don’t go easy on me ‘cuz I’m a girl. Go easy on me ‘cuz I’m a pretty girl.

Nick: A pretty dead girl!

Deborah: I think we need to set up some boundaries.
Jerome: Set the first one up outside the door when you leave.

Nick: YOU’RE CUTE. Bang! Got you with cooties.

Shiloh: Are word cooties a thing?

Shiloh: And then he tried to give me a concussion.
Rebecca: ♪ Shiloh’s got a boy-friend! ♪

Shiloh: What does he do when we get married, shoot a missile at me?

Jerome: Deborah, I’ve been thinking. Wouldn’t you be a lot happier with your own house?
Deborah: This is my own house.
Jerome: I try not to think about that.

Jerome: Okay, new topic. Rebecca! You need to teach her how to study.
Deborah: Um, no? She’s gonna grow up cute. All she needs to learn is how to manipulate smarter people.

Nobody is calling you. Nobody knows you.

Shiloh: That’s not what my imaginary friend says!

Shiloh: She is also my imaginary therapist.

Jerome: What a wonderful life we have here!
Vicki: Be a shame if somebody SHIT ON IT

Jerome: Don’t look at the axe murderer. Her visual acuity is based on movement.

Deborah: Yep, you were right! That is a re-used joke.
Carolina: Even better, look here! THIS is a re-used joke too!

Shiloh: YOU’re a re-used joke.

Jerome: Hey baby.
Carolina: Not funny.

Not funny either.

Jerome: Watch out for the vast blue emptiness!
Deborah: Will do.

There, happy now?

I think these sleeping arrangements need to be… re-arranged.

Deborah: THANK you!

I think Deborah’s bed should go outside.

Jerome: I’d be pretty pumped about sleeping with my wife…

Carolina dreams about the only way a school teacher can get rich.

A dream come true!

Jerome: I don’t know about this, it feels like we’re stealing from the people.

That’s a pretty poor attitude for a city planner!

Deborah: Hey kid, what’s happening?
Rebecca: Don’t pander.

Deborah: Hello, all my sexy girl friends! Let’s stand around in our underwear and talk about pop culture!

This isn’t working.

Deborah: THEN WE CAN DO JOKES ABOUT BEING MARRIED

THIS ISN’T WORKING

Deborah: MARRIED PEOPLE LOVE THOSE JOKES!

Carolina: If you kill her, try to do it in a way that doesn’t wreck any of my stuff.

Carolina: But definitely do kill her.

Elle: I AM YOUR MAID, NOT YOUR FRIEND. You can’t buy friendship!

I beg to differ.

Next time: The House of Black and Yellow.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.