Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
And now for something less horrible.
Margaret: Oh no, you’re here again.
That’s a terrible thing to say to your creator!
Margaret: Totally justifiable, too.
What farting ferret ran up your nose today?
Margaret: Last time I saw you, I ended up cheating on my fiancé with his dad.
I didn’t hear you complaining. I do distinctly recall hearing you moaning, though.
Margaret: Ixnay on the eating-chay. Hey honey!
Stewart: Hey Mags. Wanna talk to my dad?
Margaret: Dressed to kill I see, Stewie! .oO(Call me, Stephen.)
Margaret: If I’m gonna keep doing these dudes, I’m gonna have to learn some mondo diplomacy skills.
Jessie: Hey, Stanislaus! It’s me, Uncle Jessie!
Asia: He’s not my uncle but the cops can’t get him to stop following me.
Stewart: Please leave. I don’t want this storyline to get awkward.
Stewart: WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING
Jessie: If you two have sex, use a condom. And a camcorder.
Asia: Stewart! It’s been years!
Stewart: And one of us definitely shows it!
Stewart: What brings you to my humble abode?
Asia: I need a place to stay. Wanna start a harem?
Asia: Seriously though, help an ex-girlfriend out. It’s been like a billion years, I’m in my forties or something, and I still look like I’m eighteen.
Stewart: Eighteen? That’s generous.
Asia: Hey, did you hear? William fucked your brother’s wife.
Stewart: That bit of gossip deserves accommodation.
Stewart: I can give you this spare room, which was just festooned with girl stuff during that brief pause a second ago.
Asia: Yeah, that wasn’t disconcerting or anything.
Stewart: It’ll be fun to have you here! You’ll be like a big sister to my fiancé, Margaret.
Asia: I totally knew you had one of those.
Stewart: So yeah, it’s your own private space! You can have your girl friends over if you like.
Asia: And boys, too!
Stewart: No. No boys.
Asia: I’m glad you were able to move on without me.
Stewart: I have definitely done that.
Stewart: But we’ll have to erect some clear boundaries.
Asia: Yes. Erect. Yes.
Stewart: Not because we feel anything for each other, mind you.
Asia: Of course not.
Stewart: Because we don’t.
Stewart: We probably shouldn’t touch each other.
Asia: Friends don’t really do that.
Stewart: I’m glad you agree.
Stewart: Oh, bee tee dubs, my mom killed a cow once.
Asia: Did you just say “bee tee dubs”?
Asia: But yeah, anyway, we don’t want to make Margaret jealous over nothing.
Stewart: ‘cuz she has NOTHING to feel jealous about!
Asia: It’s not like you were my only man or something.
Stewart: And it’s not like I’m still attracted to you!
Asia: I mean, this facial hair. Ugh! Not turning me on.
Stewart: I mean, I mean, I mean, I’m totally over you.
Asia: Of course you are! Why would anyone say different.
Stewart: I’m glad we could resolve this, complication-free.
Margaret: They sure are having a quiet conversation up there.
Asia: I’m glad this isn’t gonna be awkward or anything.
Asia: Hey. Stick it back in.
Asia: I said I didn’t want it to get awkward.
Stewart: We’d better stop now before something inappropriate occurs.
Asia: Like that would happen.
Asia: Anyway, off to work.
Stewart: I’m gonna play it in the car.
Stewart: …or maybe I’ll find something else to play!
Jennifer: Never in a million years, champ.
Can’t believe I got another of these jokes, this far in.
I’d love to write a joke, but I don’t know that other person’s name and I don’t feel like looking it up.
So we’ll call my laziness the real joke here.
I’ve given you more than two hundred chapters, I don’t owe you shit.
Asia: I need a hand getting this shadow effect off my hat.
Asia: Ahh, home sweet home! At least until I get caught in flagrante with Stewie.
Asia: Did I say that out loudly?
Asia: Uuuugh. That is one inflamed crotch.
Asia: What do you think?
I don’t remember.
Asia: Husband-stealing mode activated!
Asia: Except it looks like someone already stole him?
It’s called going to work. Try it some time.
Asia: No time like the present!
Did you do cable locates before you started?
Asia: Cable whats?
Oh, never mind.
Asia: I found some glue! It’s all over my hand.
And also she found this thing, which is called a “Dragon?!”
So the message was “Asia has found a Dragon?!”
Which was neat.
Margaret: Hey hey hey! It’s the lady of the house! …who just said “for now”?!
Margaret: PAY ATTENTION FOR FUCK’S SAKE
BURY IT BURY IT BURY IT
Yes! Yes. Let’s just skip night entirely.
Asia: There was a ghost cat hanging around earlier.
Stewart: A shadow of his former self, no doubt.
Margaret: Mmm. Oh Stewart. We’re so young and carefree. Let’s enjoy our endless freedom. Mmm.
Margaret: OH NO I GOT DREAM PREGNANT
Margaret: SHIT SHIT SHIT
Stewart: I got a rock!
Asia: I got a rag you can put it in!
Margaret: STEWART STANLEY MURPHY
Stewart: I didn’t even know I had a middle name!
Stewart: OH! Oh, WOW! When did THIS happen?
Margaret: Definitely the last time you and I had sex.
Margaret: ‘cuz I haven’t had any other sex.
Stewart: Um, no duh?
Stewart: Hey, while we’re on the subject…
Stewart: I need to become more responsible. I’m gonna be a daddy!
Yeah, no self-respecting Valley man would go into fatherhood with only two affairs under his belt!
Sure, put the four thousand Simoleon vase you dug up in Asia’s room.
That’s not bound to generate some questions.
Ooh, I like the little cultural appropriation diorama though!
Um, yeah? I know? We already did this.
Was I that absent-minded that long ago?
Guess it could be worse.
Asia: Adultery! The best ego booster.
Stewart: It boosts lots of things.
Stewart: You seem to be having a hard time.
Stewart: You’re always with us in our hearts, Shadow. So stop being with us literally.
Stewart: These smell like cat piss.
Shouldn’t he be wearing a llama costume? There’s one in the dresser.
Stewart: My life is getting complicated.
That’s the only reason I’m letting you keep it.
Margaret: My life is getting complicated.
My reasons for keeping you are even simpler.
Not sure why I bothered with you.
Asia: That’s what my parents said!
Asia: And then they named me after a continent.
Asia: Wait, why am I getting up? I got nowhere to be.
I heartily approve of this philosophy.
Next time: some Deborah.
But not a lot of Deborah.
I’m not crazy.