Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
And now for something completely pink.
Last time in the Clover County Chronicles…
I honestly can’t pretend anything happened.
Who the fuck is this?
They sure look promising, whoever they are.
Seen here in a rare not-being-killed pic.
Kaylynn: I’m sure it won’t last.
Kaylynn: I’m mad at that chick for jacking Melanie’s style.
Kaylynn: Okay, I’m settled in. Come tell me my awesome secret identity.
Daisy: She should have specific awesome earlier.
Brandi: How’s evil tricks?
Daisy: Good, good.
Brandi: Let me know if you need any diabolical deeds done.
Daisy: At least she didn’t ask me how far along I am. I hate that.
Daisy: And just imagine the lectures if they saw me doing THIS.
Daisy: I’m pregnant, not elderly.
Kaylynn: Hey there! You’re not going to kill me now, right? It’s just that I’ve been sensing a theme over the last twenty years.
Daisy: I’m here to un-kill you, sister.
Daisy: Okay, ENTROPY set up an evil secret identity for you.
Kaylynn: Does it have to be evil?
Daisy: No, that’s a bonus.
Daisy: I’m just gonna check the details at headquarters.
Kaylynn: ENTROPY has a headquarters?
Daisy: Yeah, the Simnational Revenue Service. Obviously.
Daisy: Ugh, enough of the grovelling, I’m already feeling sick as it is.
Daisy: Just give me the basic info. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Wow! That’s pretty gay.
Daisy: Your new name is Renée Newheart.
Renée: This is pretty gay.
Renée: Okay, bye!
Daisy: You’re not gonna invite me to stay for lunch?
Renée: Renée Newheart doesn’t consort with criminals.
Daisy: I don’t think I’m gonna like her.
Daisy: She should consider that carefully.
Renée: Dear Diary, do you still recognize me? Now that I’m French?
Renée: I just realized what I did. Come over for lunch and please don’t kill me.
Daisy: You’re not as stupid as you everything, Renée.
Daisy: But I don’t trust you to cook.
Daisy: This evil witness protection scheme is delicious!
You really need to kill someone, your villainy is decaying rapidly.
Daisy: Speak of the devil!
Kyle: Pretty sure I can just barge in here.
Kyle: And boogie.
Renée: Please don’t kill anyone in my house.
Renée: It defeats the purpose of starting a new identity.
Daisy: Okay, but that’s your problem.
Daisy: Alright, now it’s big enough for both of us.
Daisy: I’m fat.
Andrew: I’m crunk.
Renée: He’s so crunk!
Renée: Hello there handsome!
Andrew: Chicks dig the beard.
Andrew: And the beard digs them back!
Kyle: You’re not fat, you’re pregnant.
Daisy: I’d rather just be fat.
Andrew: Hey, congratulations on your wedding!
Daisy: Why? It’s not an accomplishment or anything.
Daisy: He’s lucky to have me, though.
Kyle: Yeah, if he likes fat chicks.
Daisy: See, that’s why I made the comment first. So I wouldn’t have to kill anyone for making it.
Renée: Look out! It’s a good guy!
Daisy: I hate those!
Daisy: Is he hiding in the chip bag somewhere?
Andrew: I like this show.
Renée: Incoming karma!
Daisy: MY WATER BROKE
Daisy: You’ve got some balls on you, woman.
Daisy: Look out, it’s Mr. Darcy!
Renée: WHICH ONE?! WHERE?!?!
Daisy: Family Sims are too easy to prank.
Renée: So, how do I get this zombie shit fixed?
Daisy: I was starting to think you’d fetishized it or something.
Renée: So that wasn’t an answer.
Daisy: Hit me.
Andrew: Keep your obvious entrapment to yourself.
Daisy: Hey, calm down! I only play a serial killer on TV.
Andrew: So hey, who’s the lucky papa?
Daisy: That doesn’t strike you as a rude question?
Andrew: Sure it does, but don’t I strike you as a rude dude?
Renée: Thanks for all your help, Daisy.
Daisy: Seems legit.
Daisy: IT SEEMED LEGIT
Daisy: I don’t know whether to kill you or kill you twice!
Renée: We need to establish a plausible backstory. How about this: I hate you for ruining my life, and you hate me because I’m a reminder of how many lives you’ve ruined!
Daisy: I hate you for that idea.
Renée: This bitch ruined my life! And totally had nothing to do with setting it up. And also she farted.
Kyle: Haha! I believe it!
Daisy: You don’t need to make up a backstory. You’re an ex-townie. Nobody cares about you.
Renée: I hate this bitch! She doesn’t care about townies! Daisy White doesn’t care about townies.
Daisy: Renée Newheart eats babies.
Kyle: Hahaha! That’s so gross!
Kyle: Or is it.
Daisy: I like the theme of this party.
Andrew: Haha look this zombie is drinking some random shit!
Daisy: DON’T INTERRUPT MY PERFORMANCE.
Andrew: It’s so nice to see fights where nobody dies for a change.
Well, we’ll see.
Wow! That potion even brings back dead clothing!
Andrew: It’s good to see you again, Kyle.
Kyle: I don’t remember you.
Renée: Man, fuck that Daisy chick, am I right?
Andrew: Been there, done that.
Renée: I think the sexy fat country singer look works for me.
Renée: So that’s why you’re so hot!
Renée: I’m playing a game! With friends!
For given definitions of “game” and “friends.”
Renée: You’ve seen my life so far.
Daisy: I’d better leave, I’m getting even shiftier-looking.
Kyle: Check it out! Two chicks hugging! Hot.
Renée: Give me all your fattiest fat food!
Renée: We’ll need it to counteract all this strenuous exercise.
Andrew: Welp, that was pretty boring.
Renée: And simultaneously the best day of my life.
Andrew: So, they’re both evil.
Kyle: Yeah, definitely.
Renée: Why are you still here?
Daisy: Because you can’t carry an entire chapter by yourself?
Ratna: Anybody order some ridiculously heavy crap?
Renée: Why are you walking like that?
Ratna: Why is your face like that?
Renée: Yeah, fuck you too.
I take it this is another character-building exercise.
Renée: Nobody would suspect a fat chick of being a former cheerleader!
And nobody would imagine a former cheerleader having such sucky parties, either.
Renée: WHAT WAS WRONG WITH MY PARTY
Garbage goes on floor forever.
Renée: Bam! It’s paunch time.
Renée: I don’t know whether to be pleased or throw up.
Kinda more attractive that way.
Kaylynn: I wish you’d take more sleep pics so I could sleep longer.
I have to save space for underwear pics.
So Renée Newheart is a paramedic, huh?
Renée: I sure hope I can The Fugitive my way around having absolutely no medical knowledge.
Considering you’re already a fugitive…
Renée: I’m in good company.
Renée: Not, like, right now, though.
Berjes: Hey, thanks.
Next time: the chapter that comes after this one.