The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 207

Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!

Click Here for Previous Entries!

And now for something completely pink.

Last time in the Clover County Chronicles…

I honestly can’t pretend anything happened.


Who the fuck is this?

They sure look promising, whoever they are.

Ohh, right.

Zombie Kaylynn.

Seen here in a rare not-being-killed pic.

Kaylynn: I’m sure it won’t last.

Kaylynn: I’m mad at that chick for jacking Melanie’s style.

Kaylynn: Okay, I’m settled in. Come tell me my awesome secret identity.

Daisy: She should have specific awesome earlier.

Brandi: How’s evil tricks?
Daisy: Good, good.

Brandi: Let me know if you need any diabolical deeds done.

Daisy: At least she didn’t ask me how far along I am. I hate that.

Daisy: And just imagine the lectures if they saw me doing THIS.

Daisy: I’m pregnant, not elderly.

Kaylynn: Hey there! You’re not going to kill me now, right? It’s just that I’ve been sensing a theme over the last twenty years.

Daisy: I’m here to un-kill you, sister.

Daisy: Okay, ENTROPY set up an evil secret identity for you.
Kaylynn: Does it have to be evil?
Daisy: No, that’s a bonus.

Daisy: I’m just gonna check the details at headquarters.
Kaylynn: ENTROPY has a headquarters?
Daisy: Yeah, the Simnational Revenue Service. Obviously.

Daisy: Ugh, enough of the grovelling, I’m already feeling sick as it is.

Daisy: Just give me the basic info. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Wow! That’s pretty gay.

Kaylynn: Well?
Daisy: Your new name is Renée Newheart.
Renée: This is pretty gay.

Renée: Okay, bye!
Daisy: You’re not gonna invite me to stay for lunch?
Renée: Renée Newheart doesn’t consort with criminals.

Daisy: I don’t think I’m gonna like her.

Daisy: She should consider that carefully.

Renée: Dear Diary, do you still recognize me? Now that I’m French?

Renée: I just realized what I did. Come over for lunch and please don’t kill me.

Daisy: You’re not as stupid as you everything, Renée.

Daisy: But I don’t trust you to cook.

Daisy: This evil witness protection scheme is delicious!

You really need to kill someone, your villainy is decaying rapidly.

Daisy: Speak of the devil!

Kyle: Pretty sure I can just barge in here.

Kyle: And boogie.

Renée: Please don’t kill anyone in my house.
Daisy: Why?
Renée: It defeats the purpose of starting a new identity.
Daisy: Okay, but that’s your problem.

Daisy: Alright, now it’s big enough for both of us.

Daisy: I’m fat.

Andrew: I’m crunk.

Renée: He’s so crunk!

Renée: Hello there handsome!
Andrew: Chicks dig the beard.

Andrew: And the beard digs them back!

Kyle: You’re not fat, you’re pregnant.
Daisy: I’d rather just be fat.

Andrew: Hey, congratulations on your wedding!
Daisy: Why? It’s not an accomplishment or anything.

Daisy: He’s lucky to have me, though.
Kyle: Yeah, if he likes fat chicks.

Daisy: See, that’s why I made the comment first. So I wouldn’t have to kill anyone for making it.

Renée: Look out! It’s a good guy!
Daisy: I hate those!

Daisy: Is he hiding in the chip bag somewhere?
Andrew: I like this show.

Renée: Incoming karma!

Daisy: MY WATER BROKE

Daisy: You’ve got some balls on you, woman.

Daisy: Look out, it’s Mr. Darcy!
Renée: WHICH ONE?! WHERE?!?!

Daisy: Family Sims are too easy to prank.

Renée: So, how do I get this zombie shit fixed?
Daisy: I was starting to think you’d fetishized it or something.

Renée: So that wasn’t an answer.

Daisy: Hit me.
Andrew: Keep your obvious entrapment to yourself.

Daisy: Hey, calm down! I only play a serial killer on TV.
Andrew: Convincingly.

Andrew: So hey, who’s the lucky papa?
Daisy: That doesn’t strike you as a rude question?
Andrew: Sure it does, but don’t I strike you as a rude dude?

Renée: Thanks for all your help, Daisy.
Daisy: Seems legit.

Daisy: IT SEEMED LEGIT

Daisy: I don’t know whether to kill you or kill you twice!

Renée: We need to establish a plausible backstory. How about this: I hate you for ruining my life, and you hate me because I’m a reminder of how many lives you’ve ruined!
Daisy: I hate you for that idea.

Renée: This bitch ruined my life! And totally had nothing to do with setting it up. And also she farted.

Kyle: Haha! I believe it!

Daisy: You don’t need to make up a backstory. You’re an ex-townie. Nobody cares about you.
Renée: I hate this bitch! She doesn’t care about townies! Daisy White doesn’t care about townies.

Daisy: Renée Newheart eats babies.

Kyle: Hahaha! That’s so gross!

Kyle: Or is it.

Daisy: I like the theme of this party.

Andrew: Haha look this zombie is drinking some random shit!

Daisy: DON’T INTERRUPT MY PERFORMANCE.

Andrew: It’s so nice to see fights where nobody dies for a change.

Well, we’ll see.

Wow! That potion even brings back dead clothing!

Andrew: It’s good to see you again, Kyle.
Kyle: I don’t remember you.

Renée: Man, fuck that Daisy chick, am I right?
Andrew: Been there, done that.

Renée: I think the sexy fat country singer look works for me.

Andrew: Remember when we used to play catch back home?
Kyle: Burning to death takes up a lot of memory space, Andy.

Renée: So that’s why you’re so hot!
Andrew: Ugh.

Ugh.

Renée: I’m playing a game! With friends!

For given definitions of “game” and “friends.”

Renée: You’ve seen my life so far.

True.

Daisy: I’d better leave, I’m getting even shiftier-looking.

Kyle: Check it out! Two chicks hugging! Hot.

Renée: Give me all your fattiest fat food!

Renée: We’ll need it to counteract all this strenuous exercise.

Andrew: Welp, that was pretty boring.
Renée: And simultaneously the best day of my life.

Andrew: So, they’re both evil.
Kyle: Yeah, definitely.

Renée: Why are you still here?
Daisy: Because you can’t carry an entire chapter by yourself?

Ratna: Anybody order some ridiculously heavy crap?

Renée: Why are you walking like that?
Ratna: Why is your face like that?

Renée: Yeah, fuck you too.

I take it this is another character-building exercise.

Renée: Nobody would suspect a fat chick of being a former cheerleader!

Hmm.

And nobody would imagine a former cheerleader having such sucky parties, either.

Renée: WHAT WAS WRONG WITH MY PARTY

Garbage goes on floor forever.

And ever.

Et cetera.

Renée: Bam! It’s paunch time.

Renée: I don’t know whether to be pleased or throw up.

Fat Sims!

Kinda more attractive that way.

Kaylynn: I wish you’d take more sleep pics so I could sleep longer.

I have to save space for underwear pics.

Et cetera.

So Renée Newheart is a paramedic, huh?

Renée: I sure hope I can The Fugitive my way around having absolutely no medical knowledge.

Considering you’re already a fugitive…

Renée: I’m in good company.

Renée: Not, like, right now, though.
Berjes: Hey, thanks.

Next time: the chapter that comes after this one.

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