Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday every week!
Today we set a record for the shortest chapter ever.
The shortest chapter of this story ever, that is.
Meaning it’s only slightly longer than every chapter of every other TS2 story on the internet.
These title cards are becoming increasingly ironic.
Penny: Speaking of family…
Penny: This kid is kicking the crap out of me.
You can reciprocate when he gets older.
Jerome: Don’t talk to me.
None of my Sims ever take maternity leave.
If I don’t want a healthy Sim hanging around the house doing nothing, why would I want a pregnant one?
Jerome: I wonder if I really care about any of this shit.
I say that to myself every day.
Jerome: One of these is mine.
Just take one, they’re identical.
Mrs. Flibble: PLEASE NOT ME
Jerome: What’s this thing’s name again?
Who fucking cares.
Jerome: I say that to myself every day!
Jerome: Should I bring this with me, to remind myself of what a bitch Penny is?
She’ll use your trash can to make sure you don’t forget, so don’t bother.
Jerome: Pretty nice computer…
It’s like ten years old. It’s practically an artifact.
Jerome: I’m gonna miss you, kid.
Does it help that she looks horrible?
Jerome: I’m stealing some of her toys so she’ll want to visit me.
Jerome: Let’s hang out for a bit, kid.
Shiloh: Why start now?
Jerome: Want to read the architectural news with daddy?
Shiloh: When I’ve got two perfectly good hands to suck on?
Jerome: I’d better get out of here before the bitch gets back.
Where will you go?
Jerome: I’ve got a bunch of boring people in mind, I’m gonna spice their lives up a little bit.
They must be really boring.
Still more interesting than Jerome.
Jerome: Don’t forget me, Shiloh.
Shiloh: Don’t forget who?
Jerome: …that tears it.
Finally taking the plunge, eh?
I honestly thought Penny was going to have to kill you to get rid of you.
Jerome: Can you wait a second? I want to take one last look.
Jerome: Alright then.
Chief: .oO(Dog for sale.)
Penny: Ugh. UGH.
He moved out already.
Penny: OH THANK GOD
Penny: HI NOBODY! I’M HOME!
Nicholas: She seems so happy.
Penny: Where’s my loyal, loving husband? Is he coming to greet me? Or is he hanging out with some whore instead of taking care of his pregnant wife?!
You’re carrying someone else’s baby.
Did you honestly go to work as a zombie?
Nicholas: Nobody’s noticed yet. I’m one of the Chiefs, everyone avoids me.
Hailey: Hair buddies!
Penny: Where you going, Chief?
Chief: Away from delicious babies.
Penny: Chess? Really?
Nicholas: I have to do something to distract myself from the fact that you have two brains in you.
Penny: Yes! Extra processing power! I must harness it somehow.
Nicholas: Is it a boy, or a girl?
Penny: I’ve told it not to come out if it’s a boy. At the very most, it’ll be a gay boy.
Nicholas: You are very hard to talk to.
Nicholas: But I could still just eat you right up.
Penny: At this point in my life, even loaded compliments are desirable.
Nicholas: Hey Penny! You have a lot in common with my friend Kana Fuchs. MInd if I give Kana your number? I think you two would get along as well as you and I do.
Penny: Don’t give me that Maxis chance card bullshit, I don’t want to meet your fugly friend.
Nicholas: But Kana’s really nice.
Penny: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I wonder what I’m gonna do without Jerome.
Nicholas: I could kill you.
Penny: We’ll call that Plan Z.
She’s stretching herself as far away from that cesspool as she possibly can.
Penny: IF YOU DON’T STOP PUNCHING I’LL PUNCH YOU BACK
Nicholas: Is it coming out today? ‘cuz I can stay for dinner.
Chief: .oO(Did I eat one of these and forget?)
Chief: .oO(Did you?)
Penny: Why is the zombie still here?
And why are you so blasé about it?!
Penny: I hear some famous actress jumped off a roof the other day.
That’s missing some important details.
Penny: She’d gotten in a fight with some local celebrity.
I’VE SEEN THE PAPERS THAT’S NOT HOW IT WAS REPORTED
Penny: They were having some feud about their increasing irrelevancy and adopting ridiculous haircuts to compensate.
That… that part is true.
Nicholas: Are you seriously describing the event that turned me into a zombie?
Penny: Why so down, chum? Go play with Shiloh.
Chief: .oO(Yeah, about that.)
Penny: Go on! Go play with Shiloh!
Chief: .oO(DAMMIT! The dude could at least read my thought bubbles!)
Penny: Thanks for coming over, Nicholas! And for not eating my brains.
Nicholas: Still not sure what’s happening there.
Nicholas: Maybe I’m just a higher class of zombie.
Penny: What do I do if I’ve got a zombie who won’t eat my brains?
Andrew: Hey, are you sure it’s not my brother Oliver?
Penny: Let’s see if I can hit his window from here.
Andrew: Don’t make me sic my Frankensteins on you!
Penny: I just wanted to hear his voice again.
Nicholas: Can I bring this home with me? I think I might kill without it.
Nicholas: In fact, I might need to live here now.
Penny: I’m sorry about your not my problems, Nicholas.
Nicholas: I forgot that all your compassion was just Jerome rubbing off on you.
Penny: He had to rub off on me, I sure as hell wasn’t letting him in.
Penny: Which reminds me, gotta change these sheets.
Penny: Night Jerome.
Penny: Morning Jerome DAMMIT.
Penny: It’s a new day.
Full of possibilities!
None of them pleasant.
Penny: I REGRET EVERYTHING
Next time: in SimSoviet SimRussia, Daisy prunes you.